Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Monday, April 14, 2014
Winners will be announced next weekend.
Incompetents Anonymous holds their weekly meeting
“aaand…..who advised me to pick Michigan State to win the tournament….”
All in favor of giving Kathleen a farewell party?
The Chairman of the bored….
@Paul Hooson: “Somebody kick George. He’s nodding off again.”
You can always tell when it’s Springtime. The swallows return back to Capistrano….And the bloggers return back to their funny caption contests….
@OzarkHillbilly: Joe: “Oooooo…. balloons and cake.”
Okay, who forgot to bring the bagels? Sally Jewell, I swear to God, you have only one frickin’ job here!
Obama: “Let’s start off our meeting with a joke. Joe Biden you have one?”
Joe Biden: “I’m a Catholic you know, and a friend of mine told me that he was molested by a priest when he was young. I told him I feel sorry for you. “Thank you”, he explained, “I could have held out for a bishop….”
Obama: “Ok, for now on no more jokes at these meetings…”
General: “Ok. Putin is amassing 40,000 troops with battlefield nuclear weapons along the border with the Ukraine. And NATO would like to line up troops on the Western side of Ukraine. What do we do now, Steve Urkel?”
The two dozen people in America who actually think ObamaCare is a good idea get together to read the bill.
BREAKING: President Obama remembers that the Situation Room exists and how to get there for a national security meeting when scheduled.
General Martin E. Dempsey: “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you.”
In retrospect, President Obama decided it was a mistake to host a Mad Men viewing party in the Situation Room
“You have failed me for the last time, commander ….”
“Is there any way I can vote ‘present’ on this Ukraine thing?”
“I’m confident Holder can defend an Executive Order giving me a third term.”
“Michelle’s gone – someone put in the new Beyonce DVD.”
“So, do you think I’ll get the same support to take action in the Ukraine as I got for the Syrian civil war?”
The Situation Room sector is doing fine.
“Susan, now that we’re backing off Bundy in Nevada, can we blame it on a video? And make sure we still funnel some cash to Harry Reid.”
Biden delicately removed the booger from his nose and quickly flashed his winning smile to no one in general. “No one saw it,” he thought smugly to himself. Today is a good day.
“Say, how did this room get its name away? I mean the White House is white, the Oval Office oval and the Rose Garden…Oh, yeah…Never mind.”
“So, how long ‘til the pizza gets here?”
“I was pulling up to the 18th hole when a squirrel jumps out in front of me. And that’s when I swerved to the right and ran over Biden here. I was so worried. But as it turned out, the squirrel was okay.”
“All right, Hagel, you call Vladimir Putin and find out whether Russia will invade the Bundy ranch for us.”
“All right, didn’t Kerry get the memo about this meeting?”
Obama sighed to himself. This is the worst game of Hollywood Squares ever, he thought sullenly.
“I called you together here for an important reason. Recently, I decided to sell Amway on the side. And I just wanted everyone to know that Amway has a great floor cleaner liquid. So how many would you folks like to buy?”
“… and I was like b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b, vroooom, vrooom! screeeeeech!”
The President: “So, it’s agreed that I will tell Putin that if he likes his Crimea, he can keep his Crimea.”
Obama & his cabinet of fast Lerners.
Obama: “Joe Biden, would you like to start off this meeting with another of your Catholic jokes?”
Joe Biden: “Yes, I would Mr. President. There’s a small boy that gets stuck in one of those claw toy prize machines. The mother screams out, “Someone call the fire department”. A helpful Catholic Priest in the mall tells the distraught mother that there’s no time for that. “Hand me a roll of quarters”.
Uh Sir, Oprah’s on, hello?
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