Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Monday, June 2, 2014
Winners will be announced next weekend.
The latest dance craze sweeping across the Middle-east is called the Gaza-Two-Step.
Who knew buying a cantaloupe would be this hard?
The Christian Dior model tryout was a blast.
The Select Committee on Benghazi first hearing produced a lot of smoke but no fire.
The Mayor’s plan to combat loitering by releasing hot steam through the sewer vents seemed to meet with some initial success.
Ted Cruz: “Where’s the mirrors?”
Democrats show their usual discipline in defending Obamacare.
When in danger
or in doubt,
run in circles,
scream and shout.
The royal rumble format for the fog summoning contest was a great success with the spectators.
Previously unreleased footage from Michael Jackson’s music video “Thriller”
The Middle East e-cigarette campaign results didn’t go quite as hoped.
Protesters gather outside a Dunkin’ Donuts Joe Biden was visiting.
Deep Purple concert-goers demand a ‘Smoke on the Water’ encore.
As was the case with everything else, there was a critical Beano shortage…
The Obama doctrine of ‘Don’t do stupid ****’ apparently isn’t working.
The CIA scored a major intelligence coup when they succeeded in convincing the Taliban to adopt “Pull My Finger” as their secret handshake.
The Bahrain Boys Ballet’s interpretation of Swan Lake was lauded by the more avant-garde critics, but the average theatre-goer found it a bit tutu much.
They hate these curbs. Everybody stay away from the curbs!
Susan Rice announces that new charges have been filed against Nakoula Basseley Nakoula.
“Let’s get weird, broheim.”
…Jumpin’ Jack Flash, it’s a gas….
“Hey buddy, get your car a ring job for Pete’s sake!”
“Stop it with the stinkburger & meanwich bombs!”
Guys, the Harlem Shuffle is so last year.
Anna Wintour is coming.
Ladies and gentlemen, the World of History is proud to present the premiere of the Barley Townswomen’s Guild’s re-enactment of ‘The Liberation of Baghdad’.
Welcome to Bashar al-Assad’s Gas Laundry & Dry Cleaners:
Laundered Shirts- 2 Syrian pounds
Pants dry cleaned-5 Syrian pounds
People-Ethnic Cleansing-10 Syrian pounds
Rounded up and delivered-FREE
“What a day in the neighborhood…What a day in the neighborhood….Would you like to be my neighbor?”
“At Subway we deeply apologize for the flatizza. We had no idea that the public reaction against paying $5 for appears to be nothing more than a slice of pizza would be negative…”
Aide to the Syrian President: “Mr. President, the people are revolting!”
Syrian President: “I agree!”
Obama:”Wow! That prisoner exchange is as popular as lead balloons!”
At least my jokes are getting better….Now, people only riot and burn down the place….That’s an improvement…” – Paul Hooson
After two weeks of bloody riots, executives of Subway Sandwiches admit the Flatizza was a mistake and agree to pull it off the market….
A nearsighted rioter has a housefire….Then he realizes he burnt the wrong building…
“Hey Ismael, what you say that we take a little break….I need to drain the lizard if you know what I mean…”
“Hey Ismael, remember that show with Cousin Larry and Balki?”
“Yeah, Mark Linn-Baker and Bronson Pinchot. PERFECT STRANGERS…”
“Yeah, I love that show…”
“Hey Ismael, did you catch that classic SEINFELD episode last night?”
“Yeah Muhammad. You have to hand it those Jews….They can sure write comedy!”
Let’s play a little game called “Democracy” Tag, You’re It!
Sadly, it looks like another Arab Spring turns to fall.
Syria’s Assad: “My people are being gassed? I’m shocked! Shocked, I tell you.”
Make a one-time donation
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Designed Vacuum Cleaner While In CIA Custody
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Laughed Off Waterboarding
Missing The Point: It Doesn’t Matter If Torture “Works”