Time the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Monday, December 8, 2014
Winners for this contest will be announced next weekend.
Chief Justice Roberts administers the Oath of Office for Presidency of the North Pole
Impeachment proceedings for X-Mas? Done!
Obama; “Hey Santa, lemme see that hat. People been telling me they have no reason to bring up Dukakis in discussion anymore.”
“I bring cheers and gifts to the people. How about you Santa?”
I didn’t think Congress could possibly get any worse and then we had election day. Thanx Santa! I’m looking better all the time!
The President and Santa celebrate a moment after Mr. Obama learns what Speaker Boehner is really getting for Christmas.
President Obama accepts congratulations following his victory in the War on Christmas.
Non-racists be like…
“My White brother, que pasa?”
Obama, Santa Agree To Coal Phase-Out
@Pinky: . . . regardless of being naughty or nice.
“High 5 on making people think I really exist, Mr. President!”
“In my gift sack for you, Mr. President . . . is a personalized pen & phone.”
“Sorry, Santa, but your reindeer & sleigh don’t comply with EPA vehicle exhaust regulations . . . but it’s Christmas, so here’s a waiver, PROVIDED, you exempt the Elf Union from Obamacare.”
“Governor Christie . . . is that you?”
“A brand new teleprompter! All right!”
Dude, I *like* this party of old white men!
“Santa, you obviously haven’t been eating Michelle’s healthy lunches!”
“Now, Daschle, Emanuel, Cantor, and Clinton!
On, Cotton! On, Schumer! On, Boehner and Nixon!”
Santa: “Pssst. Hey Mr Prez, it’s me, Jonathan Gruber.”
Santa: “I’m wearing gloves because I don’t know where that hand has been, Mr. President.”
Obama: “Hey, we got rid of Mary Landrieu. Gimme five, Santa!
Santa’s public relations people should be more concerned about public appearances that could damage his product brand reputation…
This show was only marginally better than that PETER PAN LIVE fiasco…
Tis the season to smoke holly(Applies to Washington, Colorado, Oregon only. Or where prohibited by law).
Paul Hooson: “A few more white hairs, and I’m applying for a Santa job as well”.
Obama: “Yeah, I lost. But I’ve got a big, fat wallet, so I thought I’d pivot to gifts and candy. Deal?”
Santa: “All yours, Mr. President. (Hot mic: “Poor sonofabitch. Wait ’till he figures out about the ingrates, lazy elves and all the god damned reindeer shit he’s gotta haul.”)
“Glad you can join us in blocking the entrance to this mall, Santa!”
Santa: “Why no gifts for the Obama family? Well Sir, go like this. Now repeat what you said when you were sworn in.”
Tonight on Fox News: Santa and Obama were flashing gang signs!
Paul Hooson: “My strip club has North Pole dancers. Does that count for Christmas?”
Dear Santa, show a little class. The President may not treat White House events with any respect, but you should know better than to exchange a high-five with him.
“I hear Robin Williams isn’t on your Christmas list this year…”
“I just took Pugsley off my Christmas list….”
“I wish I could quit you.”
Santa: “I found out one thing this week. “Waterboarding” wasn’t a Beach Boys song after all…”
Obama: “God, Col. Sanders, you sure let yourself go…”
Obama: “Hey, what motivated you to become Santa this year”.
Santa: “Well, under this Santa suit, beard and hat, my parole officer doesn’t recognize me to enforce that silly little keep 50 feet away rule…”
“When this is over, Santa’s getting some lap dances from some real naughty girls…”
Santa: “I can only fix up naughty or nice, not crappy….”
” I gave some naughty girls some spanking sticks last year…..Some enjoyed them…”
Obama: “Our Democratic senators sure were drubbed this year…”
Santa: “Hey, I’m Santa…NOT JESUS!”
Santa: “Did I tell you about a close call at the beach last year? Me and Mrs. Claus were at the beach, when suddenly a big wave came in and swept me away to sea. Mrs. Claus cried out to God, “Oh Lord, Lord! Please bring my Santa back. Boys and girls all over need him. I’ll never ask for another thing again Lord!” – Well, suddenly another big wave came and brought me back to land to safety. Well, to make things short, Mrs. Claus took a good look at me and lifted her head towards heaven and proclaimed, “Yeah, but he had a hat!”.
Obama: “I understand that you’ve been very popular among Catholics since becoming pope…”
Santa: “I’m so happy to meet you, NBA legend Reggie Miller!”
Unfortunately, due to the rash of break-ins at the White House, Santa was advised by the Secret Service that coming down the chimney this year could be hazardous to his health.
President Obama is extended a Season’s Greetings from his Secret Service Santa.
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