Monday, May 16, 2016
Time the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners for this contest will be announced next weekend.
Bernie Sanders supporters prepare to confront Democrat Superdelegates.
“We are the knights who say ‘Trump!'”
“The first rule of Hillary Club is: nobody talks about Hillary Club.”
Revealed: the Secret Service uniform planned for female agents assigned to Bill Clinton should Hillary win.
The US Army demonstrates its new carbon-neutral combat squad.
For those who are stubbornly refusing to upgrade their computers to Windows 10, Microsoft has their new Upgrade Advisors on hand…
Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need…
And it ain’t these guys.
North Carolina & Texas join together to reveal new school uniforms in response to gender-neutral bathrooms.
from left to right: Galahad, Lancelot, Bedivere, Larry, Moe, Curly, Shemp, and Bob.
Medieval Fight Club, sponsored by MAACO.
The confirmation hearings for Trump’s new cabinet were unusually short.
Ready guys? OK now, which way to that Magneto guy?
The Knights of the Rundown Warehouse
What’s this about you not signing up for Obama Care ?
Republicans lawmakers meet with Donald Trump.
In light of the results of the 2016 primary, the RNC has proposed a new method of selecting a candidate in 2020.
Donald Trump’s campaign team took it quite literally when he said to “get medieval on the Democrats.”
“We’re looking for Biggie and Tupac … speak up!”
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Storm Trumpers.
“I’m only here to meet those those naughty maids in the castle that need to be spanked…:.
“I just happened to buy a lovely shrubbery yesterday…”.
“Sadly, I don’t think that Roger Corman should have directed and produced this Monty Python reboot…”.
THE PILLAGE PEOPLE
Republicans, wearied of “other people’s opinions,” demonstrate their new personalized echo chambers.
@Franklin: You’ve inspired me:
Special snowflake liberal college students find their “safe space” from ideas they don’t like.
Too bad for them that Milo “Dangerous Faggot” Yiannopoulos always carries a can opener.
“Our forces are limited. You guys go out and protect the front, and I’ll hold down the situation at Castle Anthrax myself. You can trust me to lick any problem…”.
“Better send me to Castle Anthrax in case they speak a different dialect. I’m a rather cunning linguist..”.
“This week on THIS OLD CASTLE we fashion a shrubbery into a birch rod for those particularly naughty maids in castles you conquer…”.
“Somebody goofed renting the Civil War re-enactment costumes again!”,
“Johnny, he’s a nice guy. Not a Saxon, but hell, still nice…”.
“Our country may be torn by civil war, but why do you always whistle “Dixie” when we march?”.
“That new English classic rock act has a great new shtick….But, man in gets it gets in the way of them playing guitar…”.
“Just think how much better warfare will be in a few hundred years when all you have to do is to push one button, and then let God sort them out…”,
“I’ve got a great idea. Let’s use the catapult to launch the missiles instead of walking them up to enemy castle front doors?”.
Yeah, but which bathroom are they required to use?
“A horse. A horse. My kingdom for a horse….Ok, now that I’ve got that…A pizza, a pizza, my kingdom for a pizza…”.
“What do you think about knights?”.
“I personally like the days better…”.
Paul Hooson’s jokes aren’t evil…just medieval…
A knight has a housefire. The first thing he rescues is his codpiece…
“I hate to say it, but that Knights Of Columbus chapter is a little too militant for my tastes…”.
“We are the Knights Who Say Knee-Cap”
Those warriors really cared about their Second Amendment rights of wearing armors, shields and wielding swords.
Bernie Sanders, having made good on his promise to cut military spending after his surprise November victory, caught the Pentagon off guard, forcing some very deep dives into the used uniform bin.
CNN executives were rethinking their decision to sponsor one last Clinton-Sanders debate after the arrival of the candidates respective staff.
All too aware of Sydney Blumenthal’s reputation, Ms.Lewinsky arrived with appropriate security services for her tell-all interview.
@Jenos Idanian: I had to pick on someone for the joke! Anyway, never heard of Yiannopoulos until now. So, uh, thanks.
Chainmail we can believe in.
Mistaken for a class photo from Bernie Sanders. But, Moses was actually in his class. For homework assignments, Moses would hold up the stone while Bernie typed…
“The Czech’s in the chainmail…”.
Victims of a chainmail scam?
Backstage with Pope Francis’ private band, Opus Dei and the knights.
The Joint Chiefs remained skeptical, but Pres. Clinton smiled approvingly as her political advisors, fresh off the Benghazi success, outlined the new ISIS strategy – “to defeat them you have to think like them and fight like them.” The Washington press corp called it “fresh and brilliant outside the box thinking.”
Oh the good old days
First of all, LINE UP like soldiers! Second, many of you are out of uniform and left your shields in the barracks! Third, sheathe your swords, we are not going to raid Hillary’s town hall meeting! We will wait for Trump.
News bulletin: Monte Python’s Holy Grailsmen unite to do battle with London’s Lord Mayor—a Musulman.
Bernie Sanders’ Secret Service security detail?
The other ‘Eight Men Out’?
Welcome to the NYC Medieval Melee Club?
How hedge fund managers and traders relax after work?
After sending in the infantry, who are consumed as cannon fodder much earlier than estimated, the brave knights of the realm quickly negotiated the terms of their surrender, provided they get to keep their land entitlements.
Sure, she opens Parliament. Even sends someone to knock on our door. But she never comes in. Yeah, I wonder why. Somebody must have tipped her off. Yeah. But who? Probably history.
[italics indicates the use of a Cockney accent]
Wise attire to wear at a Bernie Sanders “chair-ity” event…
NYC Mayor DeBlasio’s new Law Enforcement team.
Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump supporters gather for a war council. Shush, let’s take a listen: “Now what are the rules of combat? No hitting blow the belt! Unless…We’re hitting a woman! And…No hitting kids! Unless…It’s with a closed fist! And above all… No pushing the elderly down the stairs! Unless… They’re using a walker or confined to a wheelchair! What about the handicapped? Everybody, what did I say about the handicapped? Don’t call them handicapped! Call them the physically challenged! That’s right. And what else…There are no holds bared on the physically challenged! Good. Now noses, ears and handicapped parking decals will be the trophies of the day. That is all.”
Victims of a chainmail scam?
Paul, I am always amazed at the way you invariably seem to find one genuinely excellent entry among so many that are… not. Good on you.
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