Monday, April 10, 2017
Time For The Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners for this contest will be announced next weekend.
The mood suddenly turned when Trump’s attempt to eliminate the national debt with a single bet on the river card backfired.
Over the weekend, Trump’s staff tried to teach him basic diplomacy using Civilization V. It … didn’t go well.
“Don, do we have to watch old episodes of the Apprentice *every* Sunday night?”
“Who has an iPhone? Somebody ask Siri what to do with Syria.”
Ultra-religious groups have thanked President Trump for the minimal photoshop work required to crop women out of his pictures.
“So if we beat Syria, we then face Russia in the semifinals, right?”
Small minds don’t need a big table.
“Here’s the plan – get Assad’s chemical weapons, don’t tell Putin, then we sell them to Monsanto. Win-win!”
“I love the sound of Mad Dog droning on & on in the morning.”
Hey, there’s a girl in here! Who let a girl into the Secret Clubhouse?
The tension was palpable as the Trump team watched US skip John Shuster attempt to steal 3 against Canada with a draw to the button on his final rock.
When they beam down, one of the red ties will die. Always.
Hey, that guy with the striped tie is taking notes! Can he do that?
The Wii U system installed in the Situation Room was a failure; President Trump’s hands proved to be too small for the controller.
Time to play “Can You Identify The Diversity Factor”!
“Bannon? I thought you were fired!”
Damn, we’re one kielbasa short of a sausage party here …
What a crappy “Last Supper” re-enactment! Trump only thinks he’s Christ!
“Mr. President, what do you think about the Alabama Governor Robert Bentley sex scandal?”.
“I’ll show that Assad. You want to bomb innocent civilians with chemical weapons and I’ll send in $90 million of Raytheon Tomahawk missiles, where you’ll lose your morning bombings of civilians and only be able to bomb innocent civilians after lunch. Pretty smart, huh?”.
What’s the difference between Trump’s attack on the Syrian airbase and a Trump business?
The Syrian airbase had to close in the morning and wait until after lunch to resume bombing innocent civilians, whereas most Trump businesses are closed permanently…
“Good deal so many of you could attend, because with six you get eggroll…”.
“Ok, who ordered the expensive veal on the menu?”.
“We won’t make the same mistake as George W. and proclaim “Mission Accomplished”. Instead, we’ll go with “Mission Not Even Half Done” for Syria…”.
At the meeting the president learns the taxpayers are paying $4 million dollars an hour for the war in Afghanistan, $615,000 an hour for war against ISIS and $165,000 an hour for the war in Iraq.
“See, my taxpayer paid golf weekends are just peanuts…”.
“Yoo hoo, oh waiter!”.
“The service is lousy here. I’m not leaving a tip…”.
He keeps insisting that, “I’ll pay the check”, but when the check comes, excuses himself to the men’s room and climbs out the window and leaves…
“My Jewish son-in’law, Jared Kushner and my daughter are having some sort of Passover thing over at their house. A Darth Seder or something…”.
@Paul Hooson: …and so close to small-palm Sunday.
Cripes, she thought, what a bunch of sourpusses. Who’s got a joke? Anyone? A joke? Okay, here’s one: How many men do you have to kill to stop North Korea’s nuclear program? Just Un! Get it? Un! I crack myself up! … Naw, they wouldn’t get it.
“It’s eight-player co-op, right?”
Just moments after this picture was taken, the laser death stare between Kushner and Bannon actually caused The Donald’s hair to start smoldering.
Sean Spicer: “That’s our Hitler!”.
I’ve seen this episode. The Skipper hits Gilligan with his hat.
“Any opinions, Rex?”.
“Lordy Lordy, I declare, I think I need my thyroid checked….”.
Trump spills breakfast…
“Well, that’s one way to find cereal on a map!”.
Psst, Jared, look at the blank screen, make this look real.
Let’s play global thermonuclear war
(With apologies to War Games)
Sean Spicer: “Even Hitler had a better spokesman than me!”.
Sean Spicer: “Even Hitler told better jokes than that old Jew, Paul Hooson”.
Sean Spicer, the man of 1001 Hitler comparisons….
“How do we divert public attention from the Russian Trump campaign probe?”.
“Uh, start a conflict with them?”.
I’m waiting… where’s my chocolate cake?
So, just look at me and tell me to my face if you think I’m an idiot !
Trump: “Well crew, Sean Spicer promised not to embarrass me anymore in any of his news conference comments. Let’s turn on the news conference and see how he’s doing?”.
(Spicer on TV): “…and the president cannot be here because he’s rubbing his magic lamp trying to make a genie appear, if you know what I mean…”.
“So, that’ll be fourteen burnt steak and ketchup luncheon specials. Anybody gotta a problem with that?”
“OK- The executive committee of the Balding Hair Club for Men is called to order”
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