OTB Caption Contest
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
(AP Photo/Kevin Lamarque, POOL)
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
(AP Photo/Kevin Lamarque, POOL)
FILED UNDER: Uncategorized, Contests
“…and when I snap my fingers, you will awaken feeling refreshed and with an overwhelming urge to pass this bill!”
Sadly for Obama, the only person it worked on was Biden.
J.
“And I’m saying right now, the country will recover when we all quit wearing these wussy, polka-dot, pastel ties.”
“Look on either side of you. Next year, one, maybe two of you three are going to lose his job.”
Nothing to see here, just pass the bill, and move along.
And as Nancy Pelosi so aptly put it, we have to pass the bill so you can find out what’s in it.
The politics of ties. Obama, true blue. Boehner, pink but not a hint of blue. Biden, going purple.
…In honor of $1.5 Trillion in new taxes proposed…
♬
Get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir,
so that more can go to the Fed.
For, O bama’s right. Aah.
Get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir,
so that more can go to the Fed.
For, O bama’s right. Aah.
A wife and a kids, need universal health care.
‘More Taxes,’ he says, ‘I’ll need to receive.’
For, O bama’s right. Aah.
credit them a-tear up, the bailout’s all gone.
Now you gonna end up in a socialist slide.*
For, O bama’s right. Aah.
It’s getting warm, we done some harm
The globe is outta norm. Gore sounds the alarm.
For, O bama’s right. Aah.
(repeat last four)
For, O bama’s right. Aah.
For, O bama’s right. Aah.
For, O bama’s right. Aah.
♬
(Israelites — Desmond Dekker)
(now we just just need someone to record it)
*Alternate lyrics line – Now you wanna go on my jobs bill ride.
And last but certainly not least, I’ve been assured this bill will jump my poll numbers up at least 7 points.
Up the left – N. Ireland phrase. Describes something gone wrong or something in bad shape.
“There is something wrong in this country. I just can’t put my finger on it.”
“Good thing Biden’s behind me. I’m getting sick of his pulling my finger.”
J.
Repeat after me – it’s all Bush’s fault.
Rest assured. My employment stimulus plan has received highest praise from respected world leaders: The Castro brothers, Mugabe, Chavez and Kim Jong IL.
If you pass this bill, I’ll give you a $500m DOE loan.
The Captain of the Crimson Permanent Assurance speaks.
Its Going to be My Care or No Care!
Republicans, we don’t need your support! My program will pass without you, so just stay out of my way!
I am today calling for bipartisan support, and a meeting to come to a compromise, followed by a joint resolution–the one I have here!
We are drowning in debt, 20% of our workers are out of a job, we can’t find my compromise on Cap and Trade, and I really hate those trips I have to take all over the place because I can’t seem to get my golf scores any lower no matter which course I try!
You Supremes aren’t helping me get things done, damn it!
Listen up! Congressmen, give me your proxy votes so I can pass all of my program in a fortnight!
I won!
And in conclusion, I killed Bin Laden.
Make no mistake, this isn’t political grandstanding. It’s class warfare, and I’ve been told it polls well.
“…so here I stand, proof-positive that you too can get a job waaaaay over your paygrade. Let me raise taxes and I’ll show you how.”
“…and if Hillary was standing here, I’m sure she’d agree with me.”
“This microphone has a secret teleprompter inside it”
“Solyndra could have made this microphone if it weren’t for the Chinese or Japanese.”
But this microphone goes to eleven.
“In summary, to paraphrase the Great Wimpy: ‘If you’ll pass my Jobs Bill today, I will gladly pay you back tomorrow.”
“First, I want to assure every American that my spinal transplant surgery was a complete success. And to prove it, I’m going to introduce you to my little friend…I call him, Bill Jobs. I mean Jobs Bill.”
Joe Biden thought bubble: “No, Barack. You use the MIDDLE finger when speaking of the GOP.”
Boehner Thought Bubble: “These speeches would be a lot more fun if I could play a drinking game while I’m sitting here.”
“Therefore, carving my face into Mount Rushmore doesn’t merely serve my ego. But really does put thousands of unemployed Americans back to work.”
Trust me!
Today America! Tomorrow the World!