Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Monday, December 19, 2011
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
(Santa:) At last… someone up with with an ass that’s bigger than mine….
It was Christmas in America, the best time of the year, the paupers all was happy, for the guts were full of low salt, no trans-fat, no-alcoholic government beer substitute…
Hey, you people settle down or you’ll get some of what I gave Santa before we came out here.
You Want What?
Ask not what Santa can give to you, ask what you can give to me, er, the government.
No, Virginia, we do NOT do “cookies and milk”. Despite what the old fat guy may want, here at the White House we leave arugula salad for both him and the reindeer.
Yes, Virginia, I travel almost as much as Santa courtesy of the American taxpayer. One vacation after another, why it’s just like Christmas all year for me.
Yes, Tommy, your Mom is right about everyone having to sacrifice and have a little less Christmas. That’s why Barack and I have cut our vacation back to only seventeen days and cut the price so all the people like your parents only have to pay four million dollars!
Michelle Obama: ” No, you can’t have Christmas this year. We’re taking Santa with us to Hawaii.”
Michelle Obama: ” I have a thing for old white guys with beards so I left the President.”
Well, we asked Santa for Newt to get the nomination, but even Santa can’t make Newt appear sane.
“….good question…even though its more appropriate they didn’t have a clown suit in Barack’s size, so I settled for this Santa Clause suit…”
Santa thinking: “That’s the tiniest Secret Service Agent I’ve ever seen!”
Sorry Virginia, there is no one dumber and more racist than Eric.
“No, you’ll shoot your eye out.”
“Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Newt Gingrich right here tonight. I want him brought from his smug GOP debates over there on the campaign trail with all the other rich Republicans and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah…. Holy shit…. Where’s the Tylenol?”
Next on the auction list is this cracker claus…..I’ll start the bidding at……whatever…..
Can I has tamale?
Will someone please get over here, wake up Santa Biden, and tell him to stop touching himself!!!!
Mrs. O: “No, kid, ain’t nobody sitting in Santa’s lap tonight but me. Got that?”
Santa: “Oh, crap, not again.”
Darn, Santa’s looking just a little too svelt. Looks like the vegetable garden Mrs. Obama planted at the North Pole is taking its toll on Christmas tradition.
Michelle: “Please welcome the President’s Budget advisor, Mr. S.Claus.”
With President Obama looking on, the First Lady fields a question from the audience in which she is forced to defend her husband from accusations that he is just too inexperienced for the job.
Shortly after OTB published this photo with the caption “President Obama and the First Lady help Santa handout SNAP and EBT gift cards”, its website was shutdown by the government, using the new SOPA legislation.
This is going in the newsletter.
“No, no, children That’s not true. Santa does have presents for you this year, despite the recession. They’re just in the form of SNAP and EBT gift cards. That’s all.”
“Please, children! Let’s maintain some decorum here, okay? Thank you…Now, SNAP and EBT gift cards to the left. And for the rest of you, donated canned goods on the right.”
Shortly after [Insert Name of Website Here] published this photo with the caption “President [Insert Name Here] and the First Lady help Santa handout SNAP and EBT gift cards”, its website was shutdown by the government, using the new SOPA legislation.
@TheColurfield: Perhaps you can explain what I said has anything to do with race?
Let’s hear it. You’ve made the accusation. Now, let’s hear the details.
The next day: I thought as much.
Baseless charges, posted often enough, without any attempt at evidence is the staple of the leftist
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