OTB Caption Contest — Festivus Edition

Winners announced Boxing Day.

from SouthFlorida.com via Cynical-C

FILED UNDER: Uncategorized,
Leopold Stotch
About Leopold Stotch
“Dr. Leopold Stotch” was the pseudonym of political science professor then at a major research university inside the beltway. He has a PhD in International Relations. He contributed 165 pieces to OTB between November 2004 and February 2006.

Comments

  1. Rodney Dill says:

    “…and be careful ’round your little sister’s hood, you’ll put your eye out.”

  2. Boyd says:

    I’m almost ashamed to post this…almost, but not quite.

    When the Hamilton kids learned that Santa Claus was also a Roman Catholic priest, they displayed mixed reactions.

  3. Boyd takes an early lead …

  4. McTrip says:

    A youthful John Forbes Kerry demonstrates to Muffin van Shimmelpennick what he means by INtegrity.

  5. Duffer says:

    Jane likes sitting on Santa’s left knee…..

    Dick ain’t so sure about sitting on Santa’s right “knee”…..

    Young Emily suddenly remembers that Santa has only two knees…..

  6. Loon says:

    Concealed by the whiskers, Tony Blair reflects upon the extraordinary lengths to which he will go to secure the youth vote.

  7. Duffer says:

    Jane likes sitting on Santa’s left knee…..

    Dick ain’t so sure about sitting on Santa’s right “knee”…..

    Young Emily suddenly remembers that Santa has only two knees…..

  8. McTrip says:

    Linda Blair would eventually find it easier to hurl real liquid projectile vomit when it was Beelzebub who was dishing out the goodies.

  9. Duffer says:

    It suddenly dawned on Missy that Santa “Three Knees” Claus was a fibber.

  10. McGehee says:

    “Soylent Green is people!”

  11. Rodney Dill says:

    Little Timmy jumps and drops his sister, as Santa “warms his hands.”

  12. Myopist says:

    Guess Daddy really didn’t like Mommy kissing Santa Claus.

  13. Rodney Dill says:

    “First we’re goin’ to see Santa, then we’re gonna pet the reindeer, then see the elves, then we’re goin’ to the toy store, and the pet store, and on to Christmas town… YEEEEEAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!”

  14. Mark says:

    Aaaggghhh! Mommy! I saw a snake in Santa’s lap!

  15. Maggie says:

    Leave it to Beaver…he just whispered in his little sister’s ear Santa was going to bring her a Michael Moore doll for Christmas.

  16. Todd says:

    Thus proving that Santa still only has two hands, albeit cold hands.

  17. Rodney Dill says:

    “SERENITY NOW!!

  18. Brandon says:

    Santa, in the cases of Marla, Jack, and Donna, you are NOT the father!

  19. Bithead says:

    This was the moment that Jimmy decided that the chili he’d eaten the night before wasn’t such a good idea, after all.

  20. Kenny says:

    Little Billy was almost as upset as his sister when they announced that Mary was, in fact, a Conehead. Cindy, a big fan of SNL, knew it all along. Santa was on ‘ludes.

  21. Rodney Dill says:

    YAHOO ENTERTAINMENT – CBS announced today the new reality based TV show Christian-Judeo Children Swap. The McIntyre family children respond to the news that they will be traded to a Jewish family, after Chanukah, but before Christmas. Only Mary seems happy with the news. When asked why she responds, “One word, Circumcision.”

  22. Cassandra says:

    I’m sorry, I may be a sick puppy, but Mark made me laugh out loud. I’m still laughing. I haven’t done that in a long time.

    Of course it may have been shock…

  23. BlogDog says:

    Little Delilah suddenly realized that her siblings, lacking a gnome, intended to insert *her* into the department store Santa.

  24. Only little Tina Baker enjoyed the family tradition of “Triple Dutch Oven.”

  25. Sgt Fluffy says:

    The beginnings og Kos, Wonkette and the perky Katie Kourics hatred of Christmas

  26. Evilwhiteguy says:

    Even at a young age, Martha Stewart showed signs of greatness. Just minutes earlier, Martha had sold Santa “stock” in her brother and sister in exchange for the promise of an Easy Bake Oven.