Pacific Beer Helps Avoid Breakdowns

Some century-old Pacific Beer beer ads are "nothing short of brilliant, absurd, and offensive."

Pacific Brewing & Malting Co., which calls itself “the oldest new brewery in Tacoma,” is re-opening this fall after nearly a century.

The Pacific Brewing and Malting Company, formed in Downtown Tacoma in 1897, grew to be one of the largest breweries in the Northwest. The Pacific Beer brand was hugely popular along the entire West Coast.   Success was cut short by state-wide Prohibition in 1916 and Pacific Brewing closed its doors shortly thereafter.

Steve Navarro, the company’s brewer and co-owner came across some  newspaper ads for Pacific Beer from a century ago. As their blogger puts it, “We were blown away by these ads as they make claims that would get a brewery in some serious hot water in this day and age. That said, they are nothing short of brilliant, absurd, and offensive.”  They’re rolling them out on the site and promise to blow some of their favorites up and hang them in their taproom.  The first:


“The Woman of the House: Upon her often falls a heavy burden–the daily routine of housework, the care of children, the shopping, the social duties. Small wonder that she often sustains a ‘breakdown’ and must receive medical assistance. Such a result may be avoided by the moderate use of Pacific Beer. When fatigued, the housewife will find that a glass furnishes just the required stimulant. Both tonic and nourishment, it will lift her over many a crisis when she has exceeded the limits of her ordinary endurance.”

I’m not sure the FDA would approve, but it’s just science.

via Richard Gardner, OTB’s Pacific Northwest correspondent

James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm veteran. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. Franklin says:

    I hear a frontal lobotomy works just as well.

  2. Trumwill says:

    With that title, I was envisioning somebody putting Pacific Beer into their car’s gas tank or something.

  3. James Pearce says:

    @Trumwill: Surprisingly, Pacific Beer is good for that too.

    Hit it, Tom.

    That’s right, it filets, it chops
    It dices, slices, never stops
    Lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
    And it mows your lawn
    And it picks up the kids from school
    It gets rid of unwanted facial hair
    It gets rid of embarrassing age spots
    It delivers a pizza
    And it lengthens, and it strengthens
    And it finds that slipper that’s been at large
    Under the chaise longe for several weeks
    And it plays a mean Rhythm Master
    It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
    And it’s only a dollar, step right up
    It’s only a dollar, step right up

  4. James Joyner says:

    @Franklin: @James Pearce:

    “But I’d rather have a bottle in front of me,
    Than have to have a frontal lobotomy.
    I might be drunk, but at least I’m not insane.”

  5. JohnMcC says:

    @James Pearce: Oh thank you for the memories, Mr P. The best thing it does:

    It removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets,
    that’s right and it entertains visiting relatives,
    it turns a sandwich into a banquet.

    Good Times

  6. stonetools says:

    Lots of great quotes about beer here:

    A couple:

    Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
    Dave Barry

    Beer, the cause and solution to all of life’s problems
    (Originally: “To alcohol! The cause of–and solution to–all of life’s problems.” Homer Simpson, in the episode Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment).