Political Beliefs Quiz

Donald J. Hagen has written THE SATIRICAL POLITICAL BELIEFS ASSESSMENT TEST, A Humorous Political Party Quiz to Test If You’re an Archconservative, Leftwing Wacko, Antigovernment Libertine or a Commie Sympathizer. A few examples:

What techniques are best for maintaining discipline in the classroom?
CONS: If just one student misbehaves, severely punish the entire class.
LIBL: Force boys who refuse to settle down to take psychotropic drugs, such as Ritalin and Prozac.
LBRT: Anyone who doesn’t want to be in class can leave.
COMM: Anyone who doesn’t want to be in class can be made an example of.

The best things in life…
CONS: have a substantial membership fee.
LIBL: need price controls.
LBRT: are subject to the whims of supply and demand.
COMM: have a substantial waiting list.

The speed limit should be…
CONS: 75 MPH on Interstate highways.
LIBL: reduced to 15 MPH to save lives, and resources.
LBRT: abolished. This will result in an immediate 50 percent reduction in highway fatalities, because a motorist barreling along at 150 MPH only spends half the time exposed to the hazards of the road, as someone plodding along at 75 MPH.
COMM: irrelevant, because after the revolution everyone will commute in public transportation.

Hat tip to Michael J. Totten, who has a lively, if strange, discussion going on among his commentators.

FILED UNDER: Humor, , ,
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm veteran. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. dj of raleigh says:

    UNDECIDED, as usual on issues.

    I noted that we undecided were left out!
    All the polls carry our numbers…
    even the 900 toll votes get our numbers in there.

    On CLASSROOM discipline, the undecided:
    aren’t sure if we are being too hard or too easy,
    or if we should try something new or go back the way it was.
    We just don’t know, yet, but after you do something,
    we will let you know if we didn’t agree with it.