Sheryl Crow Wants Limits on Toilet Paper

Apparently she doesn’t go to the bathroom. Why, you ask, does Sheryl Crow want there to be less toilet paper? Why to help the environment of course,

Singer Sheryl Crow has said a ban on using too much toilet paper should be introduced to help the environment.

Crow has suggested using “only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required”.

Frankly I want to know how we can make all of humanity better by eliminating the need to..well errr eliminate like Sheryl Crow.

Another question that I have is exactly how would this be monitored and enforced? Will there be special toilet paper dispensers that measure one’s output and thus distributing the requisite square (or two or three)? Would there be a camera if people bring their own roll? Will there be a bathroom enforcement officer who will write tickets?

Of course, lets forget about the tractor trailers and buses that Sheryl Crow use while touring. Yes, little Ms. Green, who doesn’t take a dump, travels with three tractor trailers, four buses and six cars. Ahh the hypocrisy of the celebrity class.

FILED UNDER: Entertainment, Environment, Humor, ,
Steve Verdon
About Steve Verdon
Steve has a B.A. in Economics from the University of California, Los Angeles and attended graduate school at The George Washington University, leaving school shortly before staring work on his dissertation when his first child was born. He works in the energy industry and prior to that worked at the Bureau of Labor Statistics in the Division of Price Index and Number Research. He joined the staff at OTB in November 2004.

Comments

  1. The Populist says:

    And as others have said, How much fuel does that Bus and Caravan take? Hmmmm…. Update: The BBC, well known for their Proper British dialect, calls it, loo paper! TOO FUNNY! Related to BBC Story:  Betsy’s Page, Right Wing Nut House, Outside The Beltway, Instapundit.com, Hyscience, The Right Angle and Pajamas Media Others on original story: News Hounds, The Democratic Daily, The Strata-Sphere, Jules Crittenden, Wizbang, Daniel W. Drezner, mediabistro.com

  2. Stormy70 says:

    Plus, she wants me to use my sleeve as a napkin. I would not want this chick touching me with her green cooties.

  3. Triumph says:

    This lady is just a liberal. She had been anti-Bush since Day one.

  4. Hal says:

    My god. It’s like this blog has been transported to a freshman dorm room.

    Pass the bong and call for another pizza, man. Them nanny staters aren’t gonna slap us down again.

  5. Anderson says:

    I for one think that Ms. Crow is on to something.

    The great TP wasters are women, who use tissue for both [No. 1] and [No. 2].

    The male “shake” has saved COUNTLESS old-growth forests from obliteration. Men of the world, give each other a hand! –Just wash first.

  6. Steve Verdon says:

    Well thank God that Anderson can get into the spirit of the post. Sheesh Hal, grow a sense of humor.

  7. another matt says:

    I for one welcome the expansion of law enforcement into the realm of scatological monitoring. The revenue that these potty police could generate by serving up TP usage citations would surely pay for the administrative costs of this new program with enough left over to investigate other innovative ways to eliminate the need for any privacy in our society.

  8. Gollum says:

    Um, slow news day Steve? : )

  9. M. Murcek says:

    The un-funny part of this is, “If a celebrity hypocrite opens his or her yap to say this sort of stuff, and the MSM does not report on it, does the public at large even find out about it?”

  10. Mark says:

    Men of the world, give each other a hand!

    No offense, Anderson, but I do not want to get that close to you, or any other guy…

  11. Note to self: Never shake hands with Sheryl Crow. We may have a reason why have found the reason why Wes Clark got sick after shaking the hands of all those liberals.

  12. Christopher says:

    No wonder Rove didn’t want to talk to that woman!

    Steve, she is just a typical liberal, right up your alley.

  13. Steve Plunk says:

    M. Murcek’s point should be noted. As much as we complain about celebs grandstanding on global and national policy issues we should understand it is the press who amplifies that message to us. The supposed profession of journalism turns out to be less than professional by failing the people it is meant to serve.

  14. Tlaloc says:

    The un-funny part of this is, “If a celebrity hypocrite opens his or her yap to say this sort of stuff, and the MSM does not report on it, does the public at large even find out about it?”

    Yes I frequently find myself thinking, “if only the MSM could spend a little more time telling me what various celebrities think.”

    Oh wait…

  15. Dave Schuler says:

    Somewhere in this story there’s a line about “out of my cold, dead, …”.

  16. […] 4/23/2007 Sheryl Crow: Class A IdiotPosted by: MichaelShe wants to save the planet. To start off? One square per shit. […]

  17. shipmate says:

    I for one think that Ms. Crow is on to something.

    The great TP wasters are women, who use tissue for both [No. 1] and [No. 2].

    The male “shake” has saved COUNTLESS old-growth forests from obliteration. Men of the world, give each other a hand! –Just wash first.

    Thanks, Anderson, I almost fried my computer after nearly spewing my coffee while reading your post.

    That was brilliant (and so very true)!

  18. shipmate says:

    No wonder Rove didn’t want to talk to that woman!

    And that’s also why he yelled at her “Don’t touch me!”

  19. anjin-san says:

    Excuse the pun, but does anyone give a crap what she says?

    No doubt we can all cut back on use of paper products, but I don’t need a mediocre singer to tell me how to go about it.

  20. LaurenceB says:

    Of course, lets forget about the tractor trailers and buses that Sheryl Crow use while touring. Yes, little Ms. Green, who doesn’t take a dump, travels with three tractor trailers, four buses and six cars. Ahh the hypocrisy of the celebrity class.

    Although I agree that Ms. Crow is wrong to promote this particular brand of coerced environmentalism, I would like to raise an objection to this sort of silly (and unfortunately, all too common) Republican talking point.

    The idea that Ms. Crow should be required to give up her career before she can be allowed to say a word in favor of conservation is just wrong. She tours, therefore she necessarily will use plenty of fuel for transportation. It’s her job. Neither should John Edwards be asked to give up all of his earthly belongings or his expensive haircuts before he can advocate for the poor. He made his money. He can spend it however he likes.

    I can’t help but feel that the folks who are so fond of bringing up these weak, ad-hominen hypocrisy charges are simply not willing or not able to make an effective argument to the issues.

  21. […] For other views on this vital issue go to these links: Glenn Reynolds, An Inconvenient Blog, Outside The Beltway, Pre-Marital Sax, Betsy Newmark, Pajamas Media has the begininng of a roll up…I MEAN “round up”, Mark Byron, Right Wing Nut House, Celebrity Mound […]

  22. William d'Inger says:

    The idea’s so crazy that Sheryl even got flack from Rosie O’Donnell over it. Altogether now, children, can we say, “Lunatic fringe?”

  23. Roger says:

    I can only imagine the arraignment hearing:

    Judge: On the single count of using more squares than alloted, how do you plead?

    Criminal: Innocent, Your Honor. It was the burrito I just ate…

    Judge: That’s what they all say. Bail is set at $200,000. Next!

  24. Steve Verdon says:

    The idea that Ms. Crow should be required to give up her career before she can be allowed to say a word in favor of conservation is just wrong.

    Who said anything about giving up her career? Oh yeah, not me.

    She tours, therefore she necessarily will use plenty of fuel for transportation.

    She can use less. Six cars? Three buses? Please.

    Neither should John Edwards be asked to give up all of his earthly belongings or his expensive haircuts before he can advocate for the poor. He made his money. He can spend it however he likes.

    Of course, but this doesn’t change the fact that he, and Ms. Crow, are sanctimonious pricks. Edwards wants to do something for the poor? Sell his house, buy something much more modest and then donate the proceeds to various charities. Before he comes with the coercive power of the state, assuming he gets elected, demanding my money on the pain of punishment perhaps he should look to his own ginormous house.

    I can’t help but feel that the folks who are so fond of bringing up these weak, ad-hominen hypocrisy charges are simply not willing or not able to make an effective argument to the issues.

    It isn’t an ad-hominem. Crow and David feel that AGW is a serious issue, but instead of changing their lifestyles they want to force everybody else to change so that they can maintain their own. In short, pointing out hypocrisy is not an ad hominem.

  25. […] Your Connection   guestLog outLog in or Sign Up Site Navigation   HomeForum HomeClosed Conversations For Members   Support Feedback Member Search Carobit Mail Helpful Links   Smilies Formatting Preview Originator: Hooligan Printable Version Title: I bet she drinks Carling Black Label Back to Lounge Attachments Add Attachment History From: Hooligan On: 2007/04/26 04:59:11 http://news.bbc…k/1/hi/entertainment/6583067.stm From:  muso On: 2007/04/26 05:48:55 > Crow has suggested using "only one square per > restroom visit, except, of course, on those > pesky occasions where two to three could be required".I pity her husband.  It actually reminds me of a sign I saw in a bathroom once; it said "The Hasselhoff rules of toilet etiquette…" and went on the same way as above. From:  stone5150 On: 2007/04/26 05:49:46 I guess if you are bulemic the one square this is feasible, because most of your food comes up the wrong way anyway. I take big healthy shits and one square, or even 4 or 5 won’t cut it most times.Just another example of a stupid ass celebrity thinking they know something about the world ad expecting us all to give a rat’s arse about their opinion. From:  rid On: 2007/04/26 06:52:33 It’s been tried — in a fashion. I was in Poland 1980. For public lavatory visits you had to be prescient about paper needs and BUY your sqares in advance from the cashier. Old wrapping paper, too, I believe./RID From: Hooligan On: 2007/04/27 04:30:58 I’m surprised it wasn’t cheaper to use Polish bank notes, you wouldn’t have been allowed to use copies of pravda either I suppose. From:  Analog_Kid On: 2007/04/27 07:27:05 >>paper napkins "represent the height of wastefulness".This is exactly the kind of forward thinking this world needs. If only celebrities were empowered to make decisions for everyone. From:  stone5150 On: 2007/04/27 07:41:36 I try to cut down on waste as much as possible, but I ain’t skrimping on wiping my ass, regardless of what some fucking celebrity thinks. Celebrities that try to tell my broke ass how to save money when they piss away more in a month than I make in a year piss me off. Fuck em, if they want to save the planet, then let them spend their millions on something besides that trivial horseshit that they do. From:  mac On: 2007/04/27 10:35:48 come on, stone, let it out… tell us what you really think!the Crowing One goes on to say…>>"I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the heighth of wastefullness. I have designed a clothing line that has what’s called a "dining sleeve". The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product.. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold."<<ok, so running the electric washing machine and using the natural gas powered drier to clean the sleeves would be WAY better than cutting down a renewable tree, right? From:  stone5150 On: 2007/04/27 10:41:49 Also, the attractiveness of a sauce and snot covered sleeve can’t be overlooked. From:  Analog_Kid On: 2007/04/29 19:40:50 The woman is a hypocrite. The Smoking released Sheryl Crow’s performance contract on their website and it is revealed that the singer and her entourage actually use "three tractor trailers, four buses and six cars" to spread their message of global warming across the nation, not a bio-diesel bus as her blog suggests. http://www.outs…ow_wants_limits_on_toilet_paper/Oh, and the booze she likes depends the day of the week:http://www.thes…/backstagetour/scrow/scrow1.htmlAnd this woman was invited to White House why? No surprise that meeting went badly. I think this article is a good perspective on the likes of Sheryl Crow – http://www.sgvt…om/ci_5759757?source=most_viewed  From: Baldrick On: 2007/04/30 00:35:49 What bothers me is the bad thinking and lack of logical deduction involved. Arse wipes are produced by mostly pine wood pulp from sustainable forests. For each tree cut down, another is planted. It is well-known that young saplings absorb more carbon dioxide, weight-for-weight, than a fully grown tree. The only damaging environmental effect would be if the paper is subsequently bleached with chlorine, which can be hazardous to dispose of, so untreated arsewipes are best.The conclusion is obvious: Wipe your arse! For the good of the planet! Give yourself a "gold ring" for proper anal hygiene. A good ten-sheeter.PS. try flushing every 3-4 sheets to avoid blocking your shitter, it’s nasty when you end up with a floater in your underpants From: Hooligan On: 2007/04/30 05:04:01 I like to wipe using vellum, each time a calf is slaughtered it frees up a veal crate for another to live in, and the vellum is a useful by product of the delicious veal industry.It’s all 100% sustainable. […]