Sunday’s Forum

James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. Sleeping Dog says:

    Oh-O Two Sunday forums

    Today’s headline

    Coyote found and removed from boat at yacht club in Lynn

  2. Sleeping Dog says:
  3. BugManDan says:

    Is 2 open forums an experiment to see which of our hosts we like best?

  4. @BugManDan:
    It’s like when Mom and Dad get divorced.

  5. CSK says:

    @Michael Reynolds:
    I’ll decide when I’m fifteen.

  6. de stijl says:

    @Michael Reynolds:

    If one of them wants to buy my love with pizza, unlimited video games, and a lax approach to curfew, I will bite.

    The best bit is I can play both sides off each other.

    Daddy James lets me watch R rated movies. Daddy Steven has to match that or I will call CPS and rat out he smokes weed in the backyard. (I wouldn’t actually call, but the threat is a valid tactic.)

  7. BugManDan says:

    @de stijl: It is looking like Daddy needs to start giving in a lot more.

  8. de stijl says:

    I was essentially a free-range kid.

    Looking back, my mother was definitely bi-polar. When she was down she barely left her bedroom but to use the bathroom.

    When she was neutral or mid-up she was actually pretty cool. When she was way up she was scary. Her boyfriends liked way up Mom.

    We came to an arrangement. Don’t mess with me, and I won’t mess with you.

    I came to learn how to look after myself fast. Work and how to conduct oneself, budgeting, cooking, washing, cleaning. To this day, if I take something off a grocery store shelf, I pull up the back one and face it properly.

    When I was 17 a friend hugged me. It felt really fine and good, but it freaked me out a bit too. Shout out to Caitlyn aka The Worm.

  9. @de stijl: My mom was bipolar too. It played out a bit differently, but decades after she and Dad passed away my sister told me about how Dad showed her the lithium pills after she died. In contrast, Dad was a rock. Always there for us. I always tried to be like him for my kids.

    It had its rough parts, but I did get hugs. You deserve a hug. Give yourself one from me, or your mom, or whomever.

  10. de stijl says:

    @Jay L Gischer:

    A really bad lesson I learned young was avoiding.

    Avoidance makes sense when there is no hope of resolution or reconciliation. Avoidance is adaptive. But. I learned that lesson too well.

    Thank you for your kind thoughts. As an adult I came to love hugging friends. It no longer skeeves me at all. Screw this dudely half hug and a back pat nonsense. Give me a solid heart to heart hug and I will storm Hell in your name.

    I got better.

  11. de stijl says:

    Just like the notion that everyone should do stint as a restaurant worker, I’d add on a stint at the grocery store. Just for the empathy.

    Stocking, pricing, check-out, bagging, running carts.

    During the depths of the lockdown those folks saved our hides.

    To those who did not learn this lesson, everytime you pull some item off the shelf, pull up the one behind flush to the edge of the shelf and spin it so the label faces out.

    Every night after closing people do this for you. It’s called facing.

    Be polite and save them the bother.

    Later in life, I never got to do data or process work for retailers or grocers, but I always wanted to.

    Thinking about the systems that make a grocery store function and profitable is pretty fascinating.