Too Good To Check: Bacon Will Make You Live Longer

Now here’s a scientific study we can all get behind:

Science has enriched the lives of bacon-lovers everywhere. A study conducted by researchers at ETH Zurich has concluded that the high levels of Vitamin B3 (known as niacin) in this meat could help you live longer.

To test this, Energy Metabolism Professor Michael Ristow fed roundworms a dose of niacin, discovering that they lived one-tenth longer than those who went without. The vitamin is also rich in the likes of Marmite, paprika, peanuts and sun-dried tomatoes. This is surprisingly contrary to what scientiests believed, because the standard assumption has been that niacin promotes the formation of “free radicals,” causing faster ageing.

An antioxidant-rich diet has been contradicted by Ristow’s findings, which shows that niacin “tricks the body into believing that it is exercising,” perfect for any particularly lazy individual.

Which pretty much defines the United States, no?

It’s science!

Doug Mataconis
About Doug Mataconis
Doug Mataconis held a B.A. in Political Science from Rutgers University and J.D. from George Mason University School of Law. He joined the staff of OTB in May 2010 and contributed a staggering 16,483 posts before his retirement in January 2020. He passed far too young in July 2021.


  1. Ben says:

    My doctor has me taking supplemental Niacin because it’s one of the best ways of increasing HDL (“good” cholesterol) levels. After doing some more research, I found that it also decreases your LDL (“bad” cholesterol) levels and triglycerides as well. It’s basically one of the better things you can take for your cardio health.

  2. OzarkHillbilly says:

    Everything’s better with bacon!

  3. beth says:

    In doing some research, I find that beef also has high levels of niacin. So that means bacon wrapped tenderloins would be even better for you, right? Hell, I’m going to live forever!

  4. john personna says:

    Niacin without nitrates is probably even better.

  5. al-Ameda says:

    …. plus, it’s gluten free, right?
    Not to mention nothing that aggravates a peanut allergy.

  6. john personna says:


    The chemist in me sadly nods his head, yes, bacon is gluten free.

    (As I’m sure al knows, the science seems pretty solid that gluten is fine, even good, for most of us, and is only really damaging to those with a specific and rate condition. Those few of course have many, many, diet options as the world US goes gluten mad.)

  7. Jenos Idanian #13 says:

    Bacon is proof God loves Gentiles, too.

  8. rodney dill says:

    Blinded by science

  9. john personna says:

    @rodney dill:

    Got ya covered, and I hope you don’t mind that they are certified to ANSI Z87.1-2003 (High Impact) And CSA Z94.3 Socialism!

  10. al-Ameda says:

    @john personna:

    The chemist in me sadly nods his head, yes, bacon is gluten free.

    I posted that for laughs because up here in Northern CA where I live, worrying about Gluten is practically a way of life.

  11. Tyrell says:

    I’ll have that on lettuce, tomato, toasted bread, or egg, cheese and on a biscuit.