Twitter to Start Charging For Vowels!

In one of the lamer April Fools' jokes in a while, Twitter has announced Twttr

In one of the lamer April Fools’ jokes in a while, Twitter has announced Twttr:

Starting today, we are shifting to a two-tiered service: Everyone can use our basic service, Twttr, but you only get consonants. For five dollars a month, you can use our premium “Twitter” service which also includes vowels.

We’re doing this because we believe that by eliminating vowels, we’ll encourage a more efficient and “dense” form of communication. We also see an opportunity to diversify our revenue stream.

The real joke’s on Twitter. Many of us would gladly fork over $5 a month for a better service. Say, access to the “old TweetDeck,” unthrottled API, and most robust uptime.

FILED UNDER: Quick Takes, Science & Technology
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. Murray says:

    What date are we today? Really April fools?

    Agree that this one is pretty lame.

  2. john personna says:

    This is the nicest I’ve seen so far … Samsung announces EcoTrees

  3. grumpy realist says:

    The best April Fools are the ones that are just this side of reality. Tokyo Journal usually would run an April Fool story in its April issue. One of the best (written by a friend of mine) was about a “let’s get a mock trip to North Korea!” business, where for a week and a sizeable amount of money you could get a fake trip to North Korea along with all the fun of trying out a trip to the country without having to actually go.

    It was so close to other crazy stuff I’ve seen done in Japan than I definitely took it as being serious.

    And one April Fool’s article MIT’s Technology Review did many years ago of scientists working on recreating a mammoth from preserved DNA has actually turned into reality. So there’s that.

  4. matt bernius says:

    On a side note, thanks for resisting the desire to do lame-ass april fools posts on OTB!

  5. grumpy realist says:

    Here’s the top ten on the web. Includes Google’s Treasure Map view.

  6. JKB says:

    So they are really getting into this censorship with Russia. By charging for vowels they will be denying free service to lots of poor, oppressed people in Central Asia who can’t spell anything in their native languages without a dozen or so vowels. Not to mention Hawaiians wishing to tweet in their ancestral language or perhaps comment on the state fish, Humuhumunukunukuapua’a. I mean come on, where is their support of diversity, they already discriminate against those with long words in their language.

    I predict Twitter will reverse this policy very soon.

  7. CSK says:

    @grumpy realist:

    I assume the bacon-flavored condom being promoted on the side of the page is not a joke?