Open Forum

The mid-week edition of our free-for-all.

Have at it.

James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. Teve says:

    Trump attorneys warn accounting firm not to hand over financial records

    The president’s attorneys urged Mazars USA to not comply with an imminent Democratic subpoena.

    By ANDREW DESIDERIO 04/15/2019 11:00 AM EDT Updated 04/15/2019 07:17 PM EDT
    President Donald Trump’s attorneys are warning of potential legal action if an accounting firm turns over a decade of the president’s financial records to the House Oversight and Reform Committee.

    Trump attorneys William S. Consovoy and Stefan Passantino are urging Mazars USA not to comply with a subpoena that Oversight Chairman Elijah Cummings (D-Md.) issued on Monday for Trump’s financial documents, calling it a politically motivated scheme to take down the president.

    “don’t let them see my tax returns because they’re just trying to take down my presidency.” is a pretty compelling argument for why we need to see those motherfuckin tax returns.

  2. MarkedMan says:

    So, Bernie finally released his taxes. I haven’t seen much about them other than he made a fair amount of money from his book. Anyone see anything that hints at why it took 3 years to release them?

  3. Teve says:

    Josh Bernstein: Right Wing Watch Is A ‘Nazi Organization’

    Kyle MantylaBy Kyle Mantyla | April 9, 2019 2:17 pm

    On yesterday’s episode of “The NutriMedical Report Show,” host Bill Deagle declared the President Trump should shut down critical media outlets and insisted that Muslims should be banned from holding public office, while his guest, right-wing commentator Josh Bernstein, labeled Right Wing Watch a “Nazi organization.”

    “Trump should actually de-license the Washington Post and [Jeff] Bezos should be spending time in jail,” Deagle said. “CNN and MSNBC, especially after the Mueller report came out, they should be de-licensed. There shouldn’t be a cable network called CNN anymore, it should be gone.”

    “I totally agree,” replied Bernstein. “You have these organizations, these Nazi organizations like Right Wing Watch that just report on B.S. They never go to the source, they never go to the truth, and they don’t use common sense. It’s always sensationalism.”

    Bernstein went on to assert that “anybody that is in an alternative lifestyle in this country, for you to support the Democratic Party, you might as well put a gun barrel in your mouth” because, he said, the Democrats are “bringing in these animals from other countries” who “want to kill you.”

    “I personally don’t think that Muslims should hold office in any state or federal elections or anything, Deagle responded. “I don’t believe in it. I think that Islam is completely intolerable to a being a Judeo-Christian ethics system based on the rights given by God, not by the Quran and this demonic organization called Islam.”

  4. SenyorDave says:

    I’ve become convinced that the Dems should have non-stop investigations into Trump. Most people don’t give a shit about policy. At this point they might as well just keep investigating and hope they find the smoking gun. If it exists I think its the Russian connection, be it Trump, the NRA, or the entire GOP.
    The other thing is go after Trump’s own words. When he went after Omar’s 9/11 comments (I have no problem with the gist of what she said, and I know what she meant, but if she had just said some people did a terrible thing there would be no issue that Trump could have brought up), the Democrats should have brought up his asinine comment about having the tallest building after 9/11. The Democrats have to go on the offense, they need someone to counter the Fox narrative.

  5. Kathy says:

    On the lighter side, I’m reading Gulliver’s Travels, as performed by David Hyde Pierce (he played Niles Crane on “Fraser”). I’m having the same problem I had with Gibbon’s “Decline and Fall.” The language is odd, and expansive, and some references to common objects or affairs, require some thought to figure out.

    Next up is “Brave New World,” which I have read before, performed by Michael York.

  6. MarkedMan says:

    @SenyorDave: I don’t think more outrage is the answer. Trumpers are only interested in owning the libs and expressing outrage just puts coins in that slot. And decent people are already anti-Trump, so more outrage doesn’t increase their number. What we need it to get the Trumpleaners, and continued and sustained mocking of Trump is the way to go there. Trump is bone stupid and endlessly mockable (“Here’s what I have to say about Notre Dame! Do this thing that would Destroy the Whole Cathedral! Use Water! Hurry!!!) and by the transitive law the Trumpers are stupid and mockable too. But I think strategically it is better to mock only Trump and then kind of commiserate with the Trumpers over their bad choice in life. Treat them as people who have a bad boyfriend or girlfriend who got so caught up in the BS they need their friends to point it out to them.

  7. OzarkHillbilly says:

    @MarkedMan: They had to pick out all the stuff that was indicative of criminal behavior.//

    On the slightly more serious side, what they released was ridiculously incomplete. Whole schedules removed. Miscellaneous pages missing. He needs to fire his accountant as at the very least she is incapable of keeping records.

  8. Franklin says:

    @MarkedMan: Speaking of tax returns and charitable giving, it seems Beto is a bit of cheapskate:

  9. CSK says:

    @Teve: Trump is in such a frenzy to keep those returns hidden that he doesn’t realize that the more he insists on keeping them concealed, the worse it looks for him.

  10. gVOR08 says:

    @MarkedMan: Absolutely. Don’t make him out as a big, bad threat. Use the riddikulus spell. Picture Neville Longbottom turning Trump into a comically overdressed maiden aunt.

    You’re right, no collusion, he tried but he couldn’t pull it off. Then he gave Putin what he wanted anyway for nothing in return. Right, send border detainees to people who will feed them, get them lawyers, and employ them, that’ll stop ‘em. Herman Cain on the FED Board?

    And yes, tactically we have to be respectful of Trump supporters, but I think Jared and Jr. are fair game. Lay off Ivanka, but I can’t imagine even the most dedicated Trumper wouldn’t like a joke at the expense of that arrogant twit Kushner.

  11. OzarkHillbilly says:


    the worse it looks for him.

    So?? Seriously, when has “looks” ever been a detriment to him?

  12. MarkedMan says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Am I wrong or is it possible to get copies of your complete return from the IRS?

  13. OzarkHillbilly says:

    @gVOR08: Why lay off Ivanka?

  14. gVOR08 says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Picking on girls makes you look mean.

  15. OzarkHillbilly says:

    @MarkedMan: IIRC yes, but I don’t think for more than 3 years back…. Or is it that one is required to keep 3 years going back?

    I dunno, I’m just a retired dumbfuck carpenter who is smart enough to use a CPA for my taxes so I don’t have to worry about that stuff.

  16. Teve says:

    Fox News Debuts Premium Channel For 24-Hour Coverage Of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

    NEW YORK—As part of its effort to provide the most comprehensive reporting possible on the freshman congresswoman, Fox News announced Wednesday the debut of a new premium television channel that will offer continuous, around-the-clock updates on Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY). “For an extra $8.99 per month, you’ll have an all-access pass to the AOC Zone, which features wall-to-wall coverage of every word Ocasio-Cortez utters, as well as in-depth analysis of her wardrobe and any videos we’re able to dig up from her college days,” said Fox spokesperson Avery Mattison, adding that the new channel will include uninterrupted live footage of the 29-year-old representative every time she appears in public, along with nonstop commentary from a 12-person panel of experts. “We know our viewers will come to depend on this outlet for 24-hour coverage of AOC, which is why her tweets, Instagram posts, and her latest wacky policy proposals will appear in a ticker at the bottom of the screen. We’re particularly excited for the premiere of the channel’s flagship program, AOC Tonight With Tucker Carlson.” Minutes after AOC Zone began broadcasting, sources confirmed its ratings had already surpassed those of Fox News.

    (The Onion, barely)

  17. CSK says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: In terms of prospects. He’s terrified.

  18. Tyrell says:

    The rebuilding project of the Notre Dame Cathedral represents a once in a lifetime opportunity for people in the skilled trades, artisans, engineers, architects, and many others. A rare experience.

  19. OzarkHillbilly says:

    @gVOR08: I’m sure trump follows the same rule.//

    Seriously, screw that.

  20. James Pearce says:

    I feel like the OTB readership needs to read this piece by Matt Lewis. Read it, twice if you have to.

    Then tell your friends.

  21. gVOR08 says:

    Turns out this isn’t Barr’s first rodeo. He authored an opinion allowing the FBI to make arrests in foreign countries without approval from said country (the invasion of Panama), declared it secret for no valid reason, and gave congress his summary, which proved to be BS. But the truth surfaced too late to hurt Barr. Worked once, why not try it again? And the redactions are probably the same deal, bullshit, but it’ll take a couple years to prove it.

  22. Mister Bluster says:

    @James Pearce: I feel like…
    Doesn’t anyone think anymore?

  23. Kathy says:

    Dennison is bigly disappointed with Fox News.

    Apparently they not only let Bernie Sanders hold a town hall in their network, but also packed the “audience” with Sanders supporters and excluded El Cheeto’s.

    I predict the Cheeto News network won’t allow a single other Democrat to hold a town hall (and I sincerely hope I’m wrong), as nothing but total capitulation to the whims of El Dennison is acceptable.

  24. Franklin says:

    @James Pearce: I have no problem with that article, and roughly agree with it. He’s using every advantage of his office for the permanent campaign. And in a country where Trump can get elected once, there’s not much reason why he can’t get elected twice.

  25. Michael Reynolds says:

    I had the same thought. Somewhere in France, and around the world, people with obscure building skills woke up thinking, ‘Finally, my long study of medieval stone-fitting is gonna pay off!’

  26. Michael Reynolds says:

    @Mister Bluster:
    Thank you! Been bitching about this for easily 30 years now. And we wonder why no one is capable of advancing a rational argument and defending it with facts.

  27. KM says:

    @Franklin :
    Meh. I’ve never given much stock in the amount of money one donates to “charity” as it’s usually to one’s church or organization that one uses. Kinda self-serving to donate to SCPA if you volunteer there and it’s getting you better stuff, no?

    Besides, if someone spends every weekend doing something positive for the community instead of giving money, they’d look cheap on paper too. I’d know since that’s me – my family complains I’m cheap but I spend far more precious time doing good then their $100s getting tossed at a televangelist. They’re just enriching a scam artist but I can look around and see the fruits of my labors. The amount you give is irrelevant – it’s where it goes and what gets done that matters.

  28. Kathy says:

    @Michael Reynolds:

    One fine day in Paris, Descartes is dining.

    The waiter, clearing away the remnants of the main course, asks “Would monsieur care for dessert?”

    Descartes answers “I think not.” And vanishes into thin air.

  29. just nutha says:

    @MarkedMan: Yeah. In much the same way as it seemed to be at times for Ralph Nader back in the day, being in the top 1% rings a little hollow for the various crusaders for the *little guy*. I don’t buy into such nonsense myself, but optics are a continuous problem for those who choose to move upstage.

  30. MarkedMan says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Do you have a link for this? I haven’t seen anything but the stuff about him being a millionaire. No actual in depth look at the returns themselves.

  31. James Pearce says:

    @Mister Bluster: No one gives a shit what I think.

  32. grumpy realist says:

    @James Pearce: Given your commentary here, no one cares what you feel, either.

    Better keep quiet on both fronts, hmmm? You really aren’t that important.

  33. Kylopod says:


    I have no problem with that article, and roughly agree with it.

    I wouldn’t go so far as to say, as Lewis does, that “the smart money” is that Trump will be reelected, but I do think there’s a good chance he will; at least, he’s got much better odds than he did last time.

    I’ve been arguing for a while now that his relatively low approval ratings probably understate his level of support. The important thing is that 2016 proved people who register a negative opinion of him in polls will still vote for him. On CNN’s exit polls, just 38% of voters expressed a favorable view of Trump, yet 46% voted for him. While favorability and job approval aren’t the same thing (though as the article notes, the two have been closely aligned for most of Trump’s presidency), I suspect his approval ratings understate his level of support by at least a few points. You’ve got to factor in the “Yes, Trump is awful, but…” contingent of the populace.

    Of course part of what happened in 2016 was that Hillary’s favorables were almost as bad as his, so they sort of canceled each other out. But I also think there are a lot of Republican-leaning voters out there who can’t bring themselves to admit they like Trump, but who will still vote for him in a heartbeat no matter who the Dem is, and I believe that skews the approval polls to make him seem weaker than he actually is.

    At the same time, I think Trump is in a weaker position than a Generic Republican would be, and probably will underperform relative to the fundamentals. A normal president under these conditions would be strongly popular. The reason he isn’t is because a large segment of the populace who might otherwise be inclined to support him find him totally repugnant. That doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t vote for him. Many of them voted for him the first time while holding their nose, and they might do so again. But it does mean he almost certainly has less support than he’d be expected to if we were simply looking at the state of the country.

  34. just nutha says:

    @James Pearce: Sorry, but just seeing the headline told all. Don’t get me wrong, I think the point that Trump may not lose is good to keep in mind, I’m just no longer interested in the drama–and there is still 18 months to go.

    I just waiting for the crashes now.

  35. Slugger says:

    @Michael Reynolds: I know that it has stood for nearly 900 years, but I favor thinking about modern construction methods. Contemporary buildings are much safer, nearly fireproof, and can be made to look like anything. For people with a strong desire to experience the late Middle Ages, I suggest giving them a public whipping to return to the days when every square in Paris had a pillory and a gibbet in Victor Hugo’s words.

  36. Mister Bluster says:

    @Michael Reynolds:..bitching…
    I am humbled by your appreciation.
    My lament concerning lack of reason and stance that I refuse to be spiritual has pretty much gotten my hippie cred from fifty years ago to be blowin’ in the wind.

  37. MarkedMan says:

    @Slugger: I read an interesting interview where the design of the Cathedral was discussed. According to the expert it was deliberately constructed so the roof could burn away but leave the interior intact. There is a large gap between the wooden roof and the wood or other flammables below.

  38. just nutha says:

    @grumpy realist: Beat me to it.

  39. James Pearce says:

    @grumpy realist: Pretend some random person came on here and recommended you read a piece.

    Then treat me like that person.

    @just nutha: It’s a good piece. You’re missing out.

  40. MarkedMan says:

    Since this is an open forum, here’s a (semi) random airing of a pet peeve of mine: people who post links and say “You should check this out” with no description of what is on the other side. I may do it for someone I have a lot of respect for, but even that is not a gimme. Life is too short to be clicking random links.

  41. Michael Reynolds says:

    @Slugger: Yeah, two words for people nostalgic for the old, old days: Medieval dentistry.

  42. James Pearce says:


    people who post links and say “You should check this out” with no description of what is on the other side.

    A piece by Matt Lewis –as described– is at the link. You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to.

  43. Teve says:

    GQ magazine:

    Kentucky Republicans Worried Inviting AOC to Meet with Coal Miners Might Backfire

    Ocasio-Cortez actually said yes to their invite, and now they’re waffling.

    April 16, 2019

    Last month, a clip of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez went predictably viral after she forcefully responded to one of her colleagues on the House Financial Services Committee when he called climate change an “elitist” concern. “Wanting clean air and water is not elitist,” she said.

    In response, Kentucky Republican congressman Andy Barr invited Ocasio-Cortez to come meet coal miners in his state “who will tell you what the Green New Deal would mean for their families, their paychecks.” His concern, he said, is that the Green New Deal would phase out U.S. reliance on coal and fossil fuel, which would wreak havoc on the lives of people who work in those industries. Ocasio-Cortez accepted, saying she’d be “happy” to go, adding that the Green New Deal was written to fund coal-miner pensions. “We want a just transition to make sure we are investing in jobs across those swaths of the country,” she said.

    All in all, it seemed like an uncharacteristically cordial exchange for two members of Congress. And not even a month later, that cordiality is out the window: Barr has reportedly withdrawn his invitation, saying that Ocasio-Cortez has to first apologize to Texas representative Dan Crenshaw for a completely unrelated event before he brings her to meet with miners. Crenshaw was one of the first and most vociferous critics to pile on to Minnesota representative Ilhan Omar for out-of-context comments about 9/11. When he shared a tweet that falsely claimed Omar said the 9/11 attacks weren’t terrorism, Ocasio-Cortez pointed out: “You refuse to co-sponsor the 9/11 Victim’s Compensation Fund, yet have the audacity to drum resentment towards Ilhan w/completely out-of-context quotes. In 2018, right-wing extremists were behind almost ALL US domestic terrorist killings. Why don’t you go do something about that?”

    So now Barr is demanding that Ocasio-Cortez apologize to Crenshaw if she wants to accept his invitation, writing in a letter to her office that her comments “demonstrate a lack of civility that is becoming far too common in the U.S. House of Representatives.” An apology’s not likely to happen, though. Corbin Trent, a spokesman for Ocasio-Cortez, told The Courier-Journal, “Luckily, we still have open borders with Kentucky. We don’t need Congressman Barr to meet with coal miners and have a town hall, though we’d love his participation if we do.”

    Uninviting Ocasio-Cortez is probably a smart move on Barr’s part in the long run. For one thing, there aren’t any active coal mines in Barr’s district. And James Comer, another Republican representative from Kentucky, told local news that he didn’t “see any upside” to having her come to Kentucky. “I think a lot of Republicans are making a mistake picking on her. I think we need to be very prepared when we debate her on issues that we’re having a hard time with.”

    Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

    GOP’s getting scared that up close, their constituents will realize I’m fighting harder for their healthcare than their own Reps

    That’s a pretty low bar for political strategy—the idea that politicians should know what they’re talking about before engaging across the aisle—but Comer seems to be one of the few Republicans who’s figured it out so far. Instead of offering themselves up for the next of Ocasio-Cortez’s viral tweet dunks, other members of his party would be smart to follow his lead.

  44. wr says:

    @CSK: “Trump is in such a frenzy to keep those returns hidden that he doesn’t realize that the more he insists on keeping them concealed, the worse it looks for him.”

    Either that or, knowing what’s in them, realizes that letting them come out is actually worse than however bad it looks now…

  45. Teve says:

    @wr: I remember some of the vox or MSNBC people during the campaign saying ‘well he’s got to know that it looks bad to not release his taxes, so the only conclusion is that the political hit he would take from not releasing them must be less than the hit he would take from people knowing what’s in them.’

  46. wr says:

    @Slugger: I’m only surprised that Trump tweeted about using airplanes to put out the fire but didn’t mention that he could have built it faster and cheaper and why didn’t Jesus put his name on it…

  47. wr says:

    @James Pearce: “It’s a good piece. ”

    It includes the breathless bit of analysis that it depends who is running against Trump. The whole piece has the breathless style of someone telling you that there’s water coming down from the sky and assuming you’ve never heard of rain.

  48. just nutha says:

    @James Pearce: I got all the way to the 4th paragraph before I started yawning and nodding off. But I’m glad for you to find something that may help you get over yourself.

  49. just nutha says:

    @wr: Well, that was my take, too. Still the possibility that Pearce is having contact with sources other than the passengers on the light rail in his mind is still positive.

  50. James Pearce says:

    @wr: @just nutha: Yeah, yeah.

    A year and a half from now, when I get to tell you “I told you so,” this will be the moment I told you so.

  51. gVOR08 says:

    @Teve: @Teve:

    Kentucky Republican congressman Andy Barr invited Ocasio-Cortez to come meet coal miners in his state “who will tell you what the Green New Deal would mean for their families, their paychecks.”

    Then he disinvited her.
    Maybe it sank in for Barr that the last thing he wants is having AOC explain how the GND would affect his constituents.

  52. gVOR08 says:


    but (Trump) didn’t mention that he could have built it faster and cheaper and why didn’t Jesus put his name on it…

    Give him time. I expect him to offer to rebuild it faster and cheaper, if they’ll let him put “TRUMP” in cheap gilt across the face of the two towers. Or over the altar.

  53. Kathy says:


    Then he disinvited her.
    Maybe it sank in for Barr that the last thing he wants is having AOC explain how the GND would affect his constituents.

    Then she should get together with other representatives, set a town hall meeting in Kentucky with coal miners, and both explain their plans and listen to the miners’ concerns. Naturally she’d invite Mr. Barr, and Mr. McConnell, too.

  54. Teve says:

    @Kathy: yep.

  55. gVOR08 says:

    The article from @Teve: quoted an AOC staffer saying they may do just that. I hope so.

  56. An Interested Party says:

    @Teve: See, this perfectly illustrates how AOC and Trump, both from New York, both receiving a lot of attention, are very different people, particularly in what each has above the neck…

    A year and a half from now, when I get to tell you “I told you so,” this will be the moment I told you so.

    Do be sure to also show up at that time if you have to eat a fatal dose of crow…

  57. Just nutha ignint cracker says:

    @James Pearce: Tell me what? Remember my first post? In case you forgot, here’s the money quote:

    Don’t get me wrong, I think the point that Trump may not lose is good to keep in mind…

    18 months from now? Tomorrow? Whatever…

  58. An Interested Party says:

    Speaking of tax returns and charitable giving, it seems Beto is a bit of cheapskate…

    I had the misfortune of being near a TV earlier today that had Fox “News” on…a panel of young blond women and angry, snarky young men were trying to make fun of Democratic candidates as being cheapskates…left unmentioned was how their guy used charity money to enrich himself…I think that’s a little bit worse than being a cheapskate…

  59. The abyss that is the soul of cracker says:

    @James Pearce: [Note: I, unlike my alter ego, have started feeling empathy and good will toward all, so…]

    WOW! That article was amazing! So amazing that I really had to read it three times in order to (as Walt Whitman might say) “crack the bones and suck the marrow out!” I’ll sure tell my all my friends (most of whom actually live in Korea, but so what? that’s how amazing this article is) to read it. Probably most of my enemies, too. Did the author get his insights on this question from you? I ask because I can hardly imagine how he might have realized what he does otherwise! Thank you again, James! Great article!

  60. Teve says:

    If I were a talking head on the cable shows it would be fun to just reply to every right-wing comment with “your candidate got caught stealing from a charity.”

  61. Teve says:

    @The abyss that is the soul of cracker: I haven’t read the article, but I’m guessing the thesis is that democrats should drop what they’re doing and pay more attention to white men?

  62. James Pearce says:

    @Just nutha ignint cracker:

    In case you forgot, here’s the money quote:

    That wasn’t the money quote. This was:

    Sorry, but just seeing the headline told all.

    Glad you got to the 4th paragraph though.

    @Teve: It’s Matt Lewis. You’re not really familiar with his work, are you?

    Here, I’ll summarize. Trump is probably going to win because he’s got a lot of money, incumbency, the economy is in good shape, he can’t be scandalized, he’s undermined the media, and the Democrats are too busy kowtowing to social justice warriors and bending the knee to their controversial freshmen. The only mention of white men came here:

    But can any of these two white men survive a Democratic primary in an era where identity politics is on the rise? That remains to be seen.

  63. An Interested Party says:

    Another Daily Beast column, by the inimitable Rick Wilson, to go with the Matt Lewis piece…Democrats would be wise to take Wilson’s advice…

  64. Kit says:

    @Kathy: If you’re looking for philosophy jokes:

    Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”

  65. Kathy says:


    Not particularly. But that one was really funny.

    Science jokes are good, too:

    A neutron goes into a bar and orders several drinks. She then asks the bartender for the bill.

    The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”

    A photon checks into a flight. The counter agent asks if he has any luggage to check.

    “None,” answers the photon. “I’m traveling light.”

    Schrodinger is driving along a highway and comes to a border crossing. The customs agents tell him they will search his car. One of them calls out, “Hey, professor, do you know there’s a dead cat in a box back in the trunk?”

    Annoyed, Schrodinger replies “I do now.”

  66. James Pearce says:

    @An Interested Party: From the Wilson piece:

    Congress will have more work than it can handle, and if this game of redaction and coverup doesn’t shake the Democrats into sudden, vicious action, nothing can save them.

    Well, Adam Schiff tweeted about it.

    Do you think that counts as “sudden, vicious action” in Rick Wilson’s eyes?

  67. The abyss says:

    @James Pearce: Wow! Another amazingly insightful comment. We’re sure lucky that we have you here to keep (in the words of Pete Seeger) “hammer[ing] out a warning.” I don’t know what we’d do without you! Just amazing insight!

  68. MarkedMan says:

    @Kathy: And let’s not forget blasphemous jokes. My favorite:

    Jesus Christ walks into a hotel, throws three nails on the counter and says, “Can you put me up for the night?”

    I know, I’m going to hell….

  69. SC_Birdflyte says:

    @Kathy: Or the one when discovery of the Higgs boson was confirmed (a few years back): A Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church, only to find that every seat in the sanctuary is filled. A priest comes up to it and said, “I’m sorry, you’ll have to leave. Come back in two hours for the next service.” To which the Higgs boson replies, “Leave? Without me, there is no mass.”

  70. Kathy says:


    I don’t know many religious jokes, but I suppose any kind of joke is considered blasphemy.

    Let’s see…

    God decides he needs a break and he’s pondering where to go away for the weekend. The universe being a rather large place, he seeks suggestions from his aides.

    One says “What about Earth, boss? you haven’t been there in 2,000 years.”

    “No way,” God replies. “Last time I was there I met this cute Jewish girl, and they’re still talking about it.”

  71. James Pearce says:

    @The abyss:

    I don’t know what we’d do without you!

    I know what you won’t be doing.

  72. Mister Bluster says:

    Why did Jesus walk on water?

    Because he didn’t know how to swim…

  73. gVOR08 says:

    @Kathy: That Schrodinger joke used to be a Schrodinger and Heisenberg joke. Before they got stopped, Heisenberg was driving, Schrodinger was sleeping. He woke up and asked, “Where are we?” Heisenberg replied, “I don’t know, but I know precisely how fast we’re going.”

  74. Teve says: