FRANK ANSWERS

IMAO has more good stuff today, including:

Meryl Yourish from a secluded island in the Pacific asks: Who do you think would win in a fight between the Hulk and Rumsfeld?

That’s a hard one. One is a boiling pot of rage that thinks of nothing more than destruction, and the other is large and green. Personally, I’d put my money on Rumsfeld… as long he took his arthritis medicine before the fight.

Vince from NS, Canada writes: As an evil conservative, I can understand keeping women pregnant and in the kitchen. But why barefoot!? It seems kinda unsanitary. Hopefully you can
clear this up.

Giving women shoes is a big mistake. As soon as they have shoes, they might feel safe venturing outside the house. And if they’re out of the house, who will bring you your beer when you are watching football? And next thing you know, women may use the freedom of shoes to go out and vote, and that’s how people like Bill Clinton got elected. Even Dole would have won against him if men had just kept their women barefoot and in the kitchen.

And, of course, once women get one pair of shoes, they’ll want more. Me, I have one pair of worn sneakers, and, whether I’m going jogging, going to work, or going to the governor’s ball, they’re all I need. But women will want all sort of wacky shoes for reasons unconceivable to men. Soon, your whole closet will be filled with them and your wife will be saying, “We need to get rid of some of your power tools to make room for more shoes.”

Barefoot and in the kitchen; that’s the only way to go.

There’s other good stuff there, too. Go give it a looksee.

FILED UNDER: Humor
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.

FRANK ANSWERS

IMAO tackles all sorts of thorny issues today, including Satan, Parallel Universes, Bumpy Aliens, and Stinky, Smelly Anti-Matter.

My favorite short one:

Clint asks:
How come in original Star Trek the Klingons had smooth heads, while in the new Star Trek the Klingons have bumpy heads?

That’s really more of a make-up question. Back when the old series was made, they wanted the Klingons to be more distinctive, but didn’t have the capabilities to do anything other than give them beards. They were able to make Spock’s ears pointy, which started the principle that aliens are just like us, but with extraneous features on their face.

In the newer Star Treks, make-up technology advanced enough to now have the full principle of aliens in the Star Trek universe: aliens are just like us but bumpier. They have bumps on their foreheads, little bumps on their noses, or bumpy things along their necks and such. That makes me wonder if the other aliens look at us and go, “Wow, they’re just like us, but not as bumpy.” We’ll never know that feeling, though, because all other aliens than us are bumpier.

Go read the rest.

FILED UNDER: Humor
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.

Comments

  1. John Lemon says:

    First, who is Frank and why is he answering?

    Second, methinks that the Klingons on the newer Star Treks are simply older. You see, as I’ve been aging I’ve been developing similar lumps and bumps on my face making me appear more alien like.