Time the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Monday, March 23, 2015
Winners for this contest will be announced next weekend.
“Whoa there sister I said join me in the procession, not your life’s confession.”
Let’s go streaking!
AAAAAAGGHHHH!!!!!! THEY’RE TEARING OFF MY CLOTHES!!!!!!
Oooooohhhhh…. Is that a Rolex?
When your hot, your hot, and girls? I am smokin’….
How can it be permissible
He compromise my principle, yeah yeah
That kind of love is mythical
He’s anything but typical
He’s a craze you’d endorse, he’s a powerful force
You’re obliged to conform when there’s no other course
He used to look good to me, but now I find him
“It’s still not too late for you to go to dental school and marry a nice girl from Long Island.”
@JWH: Oh man, yours is the best so far.
No, no, this is a convent. In a harem you get to select for looks.
Sisters of the Order of Perpetual Frustration help the Pope rise up to the heavens.
On the set filming the slightly modified Dolce & Gabbana ad campaign. Take one.
“I thought what happened in Vegas was supposed to stay in Vegas!”
With a wry smile and amid assorted guffaws and snorts from the gathered press the Pope stood firm, “when I said squeeze my lemon I meant I was thirsty.”
The Ghost-of-Christians-Past finally catches up with the Pope.
Monica Lewinsky “greets” the pope from the front while her posse assists.
Sister, that is not what I meant when I asked you to “lay hands on me”.
“Oh stop making such a fuss…. it’s just a little boo boo.”
@Sean Paul Kelley: Why, thank you.
Hanging around with the pope is habit-forming.
Thanks, though it is hardly a new joke. For example…
“I’m not giving you my March Madness brackets!”
‘We’re taking you for pizza . . . special delivery!’
Never one for ceremony, Pope Francis replaced the traditional ring-kiss with a “pull my finger” gag.
When Sisters Catherine and Teresa team up, nobody’s sate at musical chairs. Nobody.
@Pinky: oops – “safe”
Snap crackle pope!
Ooh, Sister Theodosia is applying her signature Annunciation lock! No pontiff has escaped from that since John XXIII at Bergamo in 1961!
Pope: ” Sheesh! They’re panhandling ME!”
“Not much meat on this one, Sister Mary Margaret. Probably only good for soup.”
Revenge of the Sith.
This is your religion….This is your religion without any Jews….Any questions?
I hear that bar room scene from the latest STAR WARS isn’t so good…
NYT headline: Pope Leans Rightward Against Women Religious
“No, I’m not having a bite from your apple!”
“Now, hold hands you lovebirds…”
The Pope backstage with the really off-Broadway cast of SNOW WHITE…
“Sister Mary Hitler has certainly mellowed with age. She’s considering cutting back on use of the ruler on students during Lent. And, we all know how much she loves doing that!”
“Sister here remembers living next door to Jesus when was just a teenage apprentice carpenter…”
“Sister here insists she saw Moses in checkout with a full cart from the masonry supply section at HOME DEPOT…So you can think what you want about his story…”
“Sister here is the youngest in her convent…..We really need to something about recruiting…”
@Tillman: “Hit ‘im with the chair!”
“Help me…. they’re meshugenah.”
Holy shit! No, no, I said holy see, holy see!
In a clever non-denial, the pope states that he shall continue to uphold his oath of celibacy, bar nun!
Please excuse us, we’re just looking for the Easter bunny.
It’s my party and I can cry if I want to!
This Pope is so modern that when this nun and him were discussing the Protestant concept of “The Rapture”, he added that was his favorite song by Blondie….
The most beautiful caption contest entry ever written about the Pope and an old nun, so beautiful that the angels will sing it’s praises forever in Heaven, and even Jesus himself will say, “God, why didn’t I think of that?”
Strangely, you have to be the Pope in the Catholic Church to get one of those funny little hats. Just one guy. So much achievement. – If you’re a Jew, you can get one more far more easy…
“God damn Paul Hooson jokes…”
“Speaking of Paul Hooson, what we have here is a failure to excommunicate..”
Even this impartial judge wonders how James Corden got his late night gig?
Three nuns roll the Pope into a bar . . . .
…Not amused at Paul Hooson’s gruesome attempt at humor entitled, “TOP TEN REASONS YOUR AIRLINER PILOT MIGHT BE CRAZY”….
This Pope was sad to hear that the German airliner co-pilot’s favorite song was “I HEAR YOU KNOCKING(But, you can’t come in)…..
This Pope shocked that the co-pilot refused to open the cabin door when he heard knocking on the door. “He disliked Jehovah’s Witnesses that much?”
An American nun discusses postal service cutbacks in the U.S. with the Pope. The Pope replies, “How come the Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t deliver the mail then?”
Paul Hooson, a Jew, who owns a bar, writes a joke about a Pope and a nun walking into a bar…Well, it’s not really a miracle I guess…
Nun: “I can’t believe that co-pilot crashed that flight?”
Pope: “Yeah, that was plane crazy!”
Nun: “If you worked at a ski resort at the Alps, what would be the one thing you wouldn’t want to hear from a French dwarf?”
Pope: “The plane, the plane…”
Well, it’s not really a miracle I guess…
… only if its funny (rimshot)
“Ladies, ladies please! I prefer bitches over witches!”
***It’s quite alright to put this in the “Bottom of the Barrel” section cuz that is just wrong, but I had to, LOL!!!
“Me forgive that German co-pilot? …I guess so. But, as mad as he was that day, he’s be really pissed what they’re saying about his ability as a pilot today…”
The Pope’s having a bad day, then someone asks him what’s the biggest difference between your faith and the Jews. He responds, “Jesus Christ!”…
The Pope imagines Walter Brennan singing a Gospel song on HEE HAW…”If’n ya believe in Jesus, you best boogie around. If’n ya believe in Jesus, you best not boogie around….Now, I told you once, I told you twice, you best not boogie, believe in Christ…”
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