Monday, August 24, 2015
Time the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners for this contest will be announced next weekend.
My good friend Martha Stewart sent this pantsuit over. She said I need to learn to wear orange with the same sort of confidence she does for the fall campaign season. WHAT? Why are you all chuckling?
Hillary is helpless as Trump’s hair magically self-organizes onto her as a button-up shirt.
WTF Doug? Another article?
What email server?
And Bill said, “What cigar?”
“Did I wipe the server? That depends on the definition of ‘wipe’ & ‘server’. Bill & I have scores of servers – maids, cooks, drivers, dogwalkers, gardeners. Did I wipe any of them? No.”
What do you mean “Why am I running for President?” Why not?
“Benghazi? Wasn’t he in The Big Lebowski?”
7 ft, Bill’s fish was at least 7 ft
Oh, you didn’t ask about the length of Bill’s FISH
You mean Hamas isn’t an Middle East food dip? Huh. Who’da thunk it?
How could I know it was a vote for war?
“These questions about Benghazi . . . all I know is it was a fast, Arab-spring Confederacy.”
“Who will wear the pantsuit in a Hillary White House? Well, in a effort to be bi-partisan, I might ask Caitlyn Jenner to be my Secretary of Interior Decorating.”
@RockThisTown: Oops – left out the most important of Bill & Hill servers: interns.
When the pundits suggested that Hillary’s campaign needed a goosing, Huma unfortunately took the suggestion literally.
“Do I look like I care?”
@RockThisTown: Hmmmm… That’s represents category that might have actually needed wiping.
When funds are low, and debts are high,
When you try to smile, but can only cry;
When you really feel you’d like to quit,
Don’t come to me, I don’t give a shit.
What difference does it make
“What Me Worry?”
“I know Alfred E. Neuman. Alfred E. Neuman is a friend of mine. Maam, you’re no Alfred E. Neuman…”
Another dishonest Clinton. Not the same dishonest Clinton as Bill. Close, but no cigar…
I hate to say it, but Hillary is so dishonest that if she’s ever asked to testify in court, she’ll probably take the stand…
What did I accomplish as Secretary of State? Uh… I logged a bunch of frequent flyer miles. Does that count?
Orange is the new black.
“Well, boys, I reckon this is it – nuclear combat toe to toe with the Rooskies.”
Clinton’s press conference was disrupted by her sudden realization that Joe Biden had hidden himself inside the podium.
Don’t you realize I buried the classified stuff in a blizzard of nonsense emails? So they were safe as safe can be!
I have no idea if Bill had an Ashley Madison account. But if he did, it was on a server on private private property guarded by the Secret Service, so there was no security breach.”
“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge an email question.”
“I mean….who knew?!?!?!. I thought a server was part of the dining staff”
“…wipe the server?….when I first heard that I thought Miguel had something in the corner of his mouth again”
“….I never had Top Secret relations with that server”
“Throw me a freakin’ bone here.”
“PFFFT…..any ‘issues’ with gadgetry were most likely brought on by a video…..”
“XKCD? I don’t even have a CD player.”
“REALLY??!!?!?…..oh, wait, I think you have me confused with Lois Lerner….awkward!”
You say inauguration, I say coronation. So what?
So I told Bill that I don’t do cigars. What’s the big deal?
The DOJ says I could be indicted. Who knew?
I don’t know Ben Ghazi, but I knew Ben Gazzara. What’s the difference?
“Where were you, Linus? Did you go trick-or-treating with the other kids instead of keeping watch in the pumpkin patch?”
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