OTB Caption Contest

Time the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM

Time the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM

Pope Francis greets inmates during his visit to Curran Fromhold Correctional Facility in Philadelphia, Sunday, Sept. 27, 2015. (David Maialetti/The Philadelphia Inquirer, Pool)

(David Maialetti/The Philadelphia Inquirer/AP Photo) 2/23

Winners for this contest will be announced next weekend.

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Rodney Dill
About Rodney Dill
Rodney is an IT Implementation Consultant in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He contributed to OTB from November 2004 until retiring in July 2017, hosting some 1200 OTB Caption Contests.


  1. James W Weirick says:

    Jus’ hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da rebound on da med side.

  2. markm says:

    “On a more serious note Padre…..I was framed….”

  3. markm says:

    “…no thanks. They frown upon wine here and crackers dry out my mouth”

  4. Paul Hooson says:

    Pope: “And how did you arrive here my son?”.

    Prisoner: “Well, I was a priest…”.

  5. Paul Hooson says:

    What we have here is a failure to excommunicate…

  6. Paul Hooson says:

    While these prisoners loved the pope’s smile, they were surprised that he sounds like Dracula…

  7. Paul Hooson says:

    The pope spends a few moments with former priests…

  8. Paul Hooson says:

    Q:How come these former priests aren’t allowed to wear robes?

    A:So the guards can tell if they’re carrying a concealed altar boy…

  9. Paul Hooson says:

    “I’m the only guy in my church allowed to wear one of these Jew hats…”.

  10. Paul Hooson says:

    Paul Hooson apologizes if his Catholic jokes aren’t so good this week….He’s Jewish you know…

  11. Paul Hooson says:

    “I’m no Jackie Mason, but a seal walks into a club…”.

  12. Paul Hooson says:

    “Stop me of you heard this one, but a seal walks into a bar. The bartender tells him, “We don’t get many seals in here”. The seal looks around and says, “Yes, and at these prices you won’t get many more…”.

  13. rodney dill says:

    Inmate: “The really guilty one is Paul.”
    Francis: “Who son?”
    Inmate: “Exactly.”

  14. Paul Hooson says:

    “I’m no Soupy Sales, but a priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar…”.

  15. Paul Hooson says:

    Outside The Beltway….Where Paul Hooson gets to recycle his 60 years of jokes one more time…

  16. Paul Hooson says:

    “Do you have a favorite sports team Holy Father?”

    “…The Padres..”.

  17. Paul Hooson says:

    “Father, I’m not Catholic, and I don’t know much about your traditions, but do you have any cream cheese for those crackers?”.

  18. markm says:

    “Who son”…..hahahhahahahhahhaha

  19. Paul Hooson says:

    “Father, in all due respect I think I’m going to be a Hindu. They believe in reincarnation. A fiend has a deceased uncle and he tells me where he’s at he wakes up, eats, has sex, eats some more, has more sex, eats again, has more sex…”.

    “That can’t be Hell my son”‘.

    “No, he’s a bull in Montana…”.

  20. Paul Hooson says:

    “Father, I ended up here because I never wanted to obey my mother. She begged me to get out of bed and go to church. But, I used to tell her, “Ma, I don’t want to go to mass…”.

    “What did she say to you my son?”

    “Well, I asked her to give to give two good reasons to get out of bed and go to mass. She said, “Well, one, I’m your mother. And, two, you’re the priest…”.

  21. Paul Hooson says:


  22. Paul Hooson says:

    “How did you end up here Norman Bates…”

    “Well, I was normal kid until my hired a butler. And then anger issues set in…”

    “But, how did that so anger you?”

    “Well, everytime I was in front of my friends he called me Master Bates…”

  23. Paul Hooson says:

    “And, what do you intend to do when you’re released from prison in a few days my son?”.

    “Work for Hillary Clinton…”.

  24. Paul Hooson says:

    “What crime did you commit to end here my son?”.

    “Well, I was in court and I took the stand…”.

  25. Mu says:

    “I can get you that pardon, but I’m sorry son, baring a miracle the Eagles’ season is shot.”

  26. Paul Hooson says:

    How do address both a prisoner and Hillary Clinton?

    Will the defendant please rise…

  27. Paul Hooson says:

    “Father, please remember me when you’re gone!”

    “Son, I say unto you today, you shall be in the shower, and drop the soap, and be in paradise…”.

  28. Tony W says:

    Pope Francis visits the US delegation of the College of Cardinals, currently housed at Rikers Island.

  29. markm says:

    Pope “…LMAO….the miracle of all miracles still doesn’t get the Lions to cover against the Seahawks”.

  30. Tony W says:

    “You’re forgiven, and you’re forgiven and you’re forgiven – everyone is forgiven!!!” But no new cars. Seriously, you guys are in prison.

  31. Paul Hooson says:

    “Father, you know the mind of God. Do the castaways ever make it off GILLIGAN’S ISLAND?”

  32. Paul Hooson says:

    “Son, I hear that other prisoners like to avoid you because you joined an unpopular gang while here in prison…”

    “Yes, the Jehovah’s Witnesses…

  33. Paul Hooson says:

    “I’m sorry I’m a little disappointed father, but when Oprah visited she at least had prizes under the seats…”.

  34. Paul Hooson says:

    Murderers, thieves, Trappists…

  35. Paul Hooson says:

    The pope asked the convicted priest how “he ended up in prison”. So he starts to explain, “Oh boy…”.

  36. David in KC says:

    You’re looking mighty fine in that dress.

  37. rodney dill says:

    “I have sinned your holiness.”
    “….just what do you wish to confess.”
    “I drew cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad.”
    “God forgives you, Je Suis Charlie.

  38. RockThisTown says:

    “Your Holiness, please help us. Michelle Obama has put us on a new diet.”

  39. Paul Hooson says:

    “Stop me if you heard this one, but an Italian family has a housefire. They didn’t make it out alive. They stayed to finish dinner…”.

  40. Paul Hooson says:

    “I once lived in a town so small, the police station had a screen door. The pizza boy’s AMC Gremlin pizza delivery car had to pull double duty as the police car. The police dog was a chihuahua…..Hey, thanks a lot folks! I’ll be here headlining all weekend. Tell your friends and drive safely…”.

  41. Paul Hooson says:

    A captive audience?

  42. RockThisTown says:

    (Whisper) “Father, may I have your necklace? It fits the lock on my cell door.”

  43. Moosebreath says:

    When the Bible says “The Truth will set you free”, that doesn’t mean your sentence will be shortened to time served, no.

  44. Paul Hooson says:

    “Father, did Jesus ever get angry?”.

    “Yes, one time he was cross…”.

  45. Hal_10000 says:

    The media were surprised and moved by the Pope’s impromptu rendition of “Folsom Prison Blues”

  46. Hal_10000 says:

    While in Philadelphia, the Pope met with a group of former Eagles players.

  47. Paul Hooson says:


  48. rodney dill says:

    Francis: “Now I’d like to sing you a song that has comforted me so much in the past.”

    Strobe lights beam create dreams
    walls move minds to do
    on a warm San Francisco night
    old child young child feel alright
    on a warm San Francisco night
    angels sing leather wings
    jeans of blue Harley Davisons too
    on a warm San Francisco night
    old angels young angels feel alright
    on a warm San Francisco night.

  49. bill says:

    “what’s your prison bitch name?”

  50. Jeron says:

    Unemployed men getting their blessing! Soon to be joined by John Boehner.

  51. Guarneri says:

    Little help here Father? Any direction from the top on my Fan Duel lineup this week?

  52. Pinky says:

    All Latin Americans found in the US will serve time.
    No exceptions.

    I’m Donald Trump, and I approve this message.

  53. Pope Francis: “Are you a Christian, my son?”
    Prisoner: “I am today, father. I am today.”

  54. Paul Hooson says:

    “Well, goodbye fellas! I’m off to see that “Kentucky Half Baked Clerk” next. I’m sure glad that Scott Walker is managing my publicity here. He has a lot of time on his hands right now…”.

  55. John430 says:

    Pope: “You have hair on the palm of your hand, my son. Are they not treating you well?”

  56. Paul Hooson says:

    “Pick a card. Any card. Ok, is this your one? Ok, how about this one? Ok, what about this one?..”

  57. Paul Hooson says:

    “Ok, for my next trick I’m going to meet with Kim Davis and my popularity will disappear..”.

  58. Paul Hooson says:

    “What did you do before you turned to crime and ended up in prison?”

    “I worked in the coffee business, but it was just a grind…”.

  59. John430 says:

    Pope: “Well Paul Hooson. See what happens to you when you continue with the lame jokes?”

  60. DrDaveT says:

    The Pope meets with Kentucky County Clerk Kim Davis and her legal team.

  61. Later that same day, Pope Francis met with the other kind of prisoner. Prisoner of conscience, Kim Davis.

  62. Prisoner: “Forgive me, father. For I have sinned.”
    Pope: “Yes, I know. We all know. That’s why you’re in here. That’s why you’re in here.”

  63. Pope: “So why are you in here?”
    Prisoner#1: “Rape.”
    Pope: “I’ll pray for you, my son.”

    Pope: “So why are you in here?”
    Prisoner#2: “Murder.”
    Pope: “I’ll pray for you, my son.”

    Pope: “So why are you in here?”
    Prisoner#3: “I refused to issue marriage licenses to gay couples out of my religious convictions.”
    Pope: “Good luck with that.”

  64. Paul Hooson says:

    “I’m no Jackie Mason, but a Polish family has a housefire. The first thing they rescue is the kielbasas…”.