Best Obituary Ever

A guy named Michael “Flathead” Blanchard died in Colorado this week, and this is what the Denver Post printed:

Weary of reading obituaries noting someone’s courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors’ orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.


Mike was preceded in death by Clyde and Ethel Blanchard, survived by his beloved sons Mike and Chopper, former wife Jane Transue, brother Stephen Blanchard (Susan), Uncle Don and Aunt Cynthia Blanchard(his favorite); Uncle Dill and Aunt Dot, cousins and nephews, Baba Yaga can kiss his butt. So many of his childhood friends that weren’t killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats

Blanchard was 67.

H/T The Daily Caller

FILED UNDER: Obituaries, , ,
Doug Mataconis
About Doug Mataconis
Doug Mataconis held a B.A. in Political Science from Rutgers University and J.D. from George Mason University School of Law. He joined the staff of OTB in May 2010 and contributed a staggering 16,483 posts before his retirement in January 2020. He passed far too young in July 2021.


  1. Herb says:

    Dude founded a motorcycle gang, too….I mean, club.

  2. matt says:


  3. Dave Schuler says:

    Yeah, that one was pretty popular on the Blanchard geneaology listserv (of which I am a member).

  4. Eric Florack says:

    The world’s oldest and Richest man died today, at his estate in the Rocky Mountains, shot by a jealous husband.