Thursday, February 14, 2008
Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Tuesday PM — no Caption Jam this weekend so remember to visit the other contests… Like I’d have to remind you.
Hillary: “TAKE NOTE campaign dweebs…this is my “this is very interesting but I really give a sh*t look” which is NEVER to be confused with my “if I can keep it stealthy I can blame this SBD on one of these lowlife hourly guys look”.
Senator Clinton watched with interest as her Atomic Testicle Remover was tested on on poor Sidney. “Get used to singing like a Smurf, Barry,” she thought grimly.
Ya know, I’ll bet Bill and Roger could use this for processing coke…
F*ck, I’m gonna lose the election, then my senate seat. And then I’ll be stuck on this assembly line for eight freakin hours a day. G*d I hate my life ….
Though I can’t really see you …. I’d like to thank all the little people who made my campaign possible.
“Right there’s why your political machine ain’t runnin’ like it used to, Ms. Clinton. You gotta get that worn out Solis Doyle part replaced with the second generation, factory recommended Williams component.”
Sen. Clinton pays particular attention during her tour of the Diebold voting machine factory.
Hmmm, so that’s how they made ‘hanging chads’…
Dammit, I thought I’d be wearing that crown by now.
“A body tattoo machine. Making me a desirable black woman who is obviously for change. Go ahead, girlfriend!”
Hillary: “SO, you say this Binford Extreme Super Delegate generator really works?. Can it make only confirmed non-waffling SD’s??.”
Hillary: “HAHAHAHAHA, Norman Hsu has a money printer that looks just like this”
Man! Those T-800’s really look lifelike!
The Hillary campaign is re-tooling after a string of defeats, installing new servos and upgrading the main processor.
“…and you’re certain that this gadget will control the voting machines?”
“Why it leans to the left, like Bill.”
I know Obabma’s got a mike planted somewhere around here.”
“You’re sure this will only make me 1/4 black now?”
Oh goodie. It’s made in my favorite country -China!”
Just a damn liberal.
In a rare moment of respite from the rigors of the campaign trail, Hillary! shares a moment of quiet reflection with a kindred spirit.
Hillary: “WWWWWWWWWWWHO is fidgeting my mooseknuckle?!!?!??!”
“And is this little guy a superdelegate?”
1) Hillary: “So when will my RU-36 Space Modulator going to be done?”
2) Heh, the plasma torch was broken so they asked Hillary in to lend a hand eye in finishing the cutting of the steel plate.
Hillary thinking about Obama’s delegate count: Stupid tour, I need to figure out how to drink Obama’s milkshake, drink them all.. Damn that stupid movie Bill took me to.
“So, I just record my subliminal message telling people to forget how liberal I am, then crank it to 11?”
Hillary, contemplating how to throw a monkey wrench to *change* the political machine of electoral politics
“So this is what an Iraqi looks like. Hmmm…I thought they’d be bigger.”
“Look into my eyes, Rush Limbaugh. Look into my eyes and tell me you love me”.
Hillary explores the internal workings of the Olbemannequin.
I, I don’t believe it, there she goes again!
She’s gussied up and I can’t find anything.
All my tubes and wires, and careful notes,
And antiquated notions…
A promotional still featuring Deep Roy in Willy Wonka II: The Reckoning
Hillary tunes Count Rugen’s torture machine for use on Senator Obama once primary season is over and thinks to herself, “As I wish, indeed.”
Moments later, Hillary learned why flowing, expansive pants suits aren’t permitted on the factory floor.
Hillary has a moment of deep appreciation for things that do what they are told to do.
There Will Be Blood
(Someday, the same caption will win two contests in a row…)
Message: I Care
I’d heard there was a live action Underdog movie, but never would have believed they could have captured Simon Bar Sinister so well.
“But don’t you think General Motors is, well, a little militaristic?”
Hillary thinks: If I have to spend one more hour with these lazy union workers, I’ll vote for Obama myself…”Oh what a wonderful machine; you are the hardest workers in America!”
1. And remember, this is for posterity, so make your responses honest.
2. Isn’t this a little much for a remake of “Plan Nine From Outer Space”?
3.Dammit, Orac, you said this would be an easy win.
Interesting. But can I tax it?
Hillary considers Veg-O-matic’s new “Eunuch-maker” device for husband Bill.
Domo arigato Mr. Superdelegato
“Yes, Mrs. Clinton, here is where Republicans and Obama voters are fed into the rotating blades.”
What am I looking at again?
Witnessing the soul-draining experience of life on the assembly line for herself, Hillary vows to ensure that once she becomes President no one will ever work there again.
“Mu-hoooo-ha-ha-hahhh…don’t fall asleep Mr. Limbaugh; don’t fall asleep! Come Algore–to the EIB Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies!”
(Algore) “Yes Master Shrillary.”
Clinton – “A little voice saying it is Chicken Little came out of that machine. It said, ‘Hillary,the sky is falling.'”
Hillary: “I know as much about this as I do politics.” (Guess in her mind that makes her an expert.)
Mrs. William Jefferson Clinton: “Mikhail Kalashnikov was a firearms inventor. His wife never invented anything. Why in the hell did someone hire his wife to develop a new rifle for the US military?”
Kim Luc Low (manager of Friendly Flying Goose Firearms, outside the picture on the left): “I don’t know, Mrs. Clinton, sometimes there is no explanation for what liberals do.”
Green Tool Envy
Hmmm … the new series II, 3BU8 automatic neutering machine. I could really use one of these.
“Hillary Is Fascinated By The Inter Workings Of The Magic 8 Ball.”
Hillary an epiphany at the GM plant.
“Hey, listen to this! Don’t tell me words don’t matter. ‘I have a dream’ — just words? ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal’ — just words? ‘We have nothing to fear but fear itself’ — just words? Just speeches? Catchy, huh?â€
“That Rat; how did I get tricked again? Bill was supposed to come here and I was supposed to go to the Hawaiian Tropics plant!”
Hillary watches the machinery of America literally grind to a halt as all sources of liquid capital dry up because of her plans to freeze by fiat foreclosures and variable rate mortgages.
Wicked Witch of the West shops for a new wand.
Doubts about the futility of resistance began to creep into the Borg Queen’s collectivist mind.
“He doesn’t know what torture is…”
(About whom does Hillary refer?)
Make a one-time donation
Roger Clemens Acquitted Of All Charges In Perjury Trial
Roger Clemens Indicted For Perjury
Congressional Investigations of Sports Scandals
Caption Contest Winners
Supreme Court Voids $3.4 Million Restitution Award To Child Pornography Victim