Time the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Monday, May 11, 2015
Winners for this contest will be announced next weekend.
Look, I know this is hard for you but no, your brother is NOT the reincarnation of Jesus.
And then you give Barack the foot rub and I guarantee he’ll drop all the sanctions.
Yes, I am the Pope. Yes, I do have Papal Infallibility. No, not even I can talk sense to these Republicans.
“… a quick left -right combination to the body, and he went down. That’s how I became pope.”
“In one hand I hold eternal flaming damnation… in the other a jelly bean… you choose.”
“Barack’s a smoker, so just dance around the ring, make him chase you & you’ll wear him down.”
“Remember, I get 10% from the America-Cuba deal.”
“Hillary said to tell you she’ll have more flexibility after the election.”
“I have arranged a boat to take the last of the Gitmo detainees – it’s captained by the Skipper & Gilligan.”
“Here’s my idea: a new website to finalize the deal with Obama – I call it Guantanamo eBay.”
“If you can get me a 57 Chevy – in mint condition – I think something can be arranged …”
@al-Ameda: …and dashboard Jesus…. or hula girl.
Listen Pharaoh Castro, let my Cuban brethren go or God will send 10 plagues upon you.
You should really come back to Church. I’m telling you, it is swarming with available ladies. Did you see those nuns grabbing at me in the Caption Contest a couple months ago?
I mostly came to Cuba to meet Teofilo Stevenson. Maybe I could raise him from the dead and spar a few rounds?
It’s “one potato, two potato”. If you say it with plaintains, it throws off the scansion.
“Really? I figured that someone would have to die for me to get a promotion, too!”
Listen, I’ll admit that Barack guy is a little strange, but if Hillary becomes President you’re gonna have to keep an extra close eye on Bill when he gets around the cigars.
Eight year olds, dude.
So I says to Pacquiao, “Keep your hands in. Let him come to you. Then a couple of quick jabs and hooks.” If he’d listened to me, he would have won.
“What we have here is a failure to excommunicate…”
“…And, no I didn’t go too far modernizing the church when we now call them, Daddy, O’Laddy and The Great White Spook…”
“What do you call a Cuban with a bathroom door and four tires?”
“A charter member of the Cuban yacht club…”
“I never knew that 1955 Packards were so popular!”
In Cuba the wages of sin are only about $20 a month…
“So I’m like, ‘Gasparri, what did you call my mother?'”
Did you hear about the earthquake in Cuba? It did almost $50 damage!
“Ooga Chukka Ooga Chukka Ooga Ooga Chukka.”
OK, listen. I can’t prove it, but do rocks, not paper or scissors. Obama always seems to go scissors in negotiations.
So when you are in the room together, just you and Obama cutting the deal, don’t forget, your brother and I were running molasses when he was in diapers. We made a fortune.
Listen, about last night at the club. Just so you know. I think it’s just one-two cha-cha-cha.
“No, you may not try on my hat!”
“You make me want to consider converting!”
“Oh, no, not from that. See Fidel and I are actually descendants from the Marranos, you know, the Spanish Jews…”
Good guys dress in white…
99 bottles of wine on the wall
99 bottles of wine
From me it’s divine, to give some to you swine
98 bottles of wine on the wall
“Look, Jesus could change water into wine…But, me change you into George Clooney?”.
“How does Robin from BATMAN refer to holy water?”
“Holy water, BATMAN!”.
“I hate to say it, but Paul Hooson started out strong here with his COOL HAND LUKE based excommunication joke, but then it’s been all downhill ever since…”
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