Somewhere in Hell there will be 72 very sore sheep tonight

While James has posted a serious analysis and discussion on the death of Al-Zarqawi, this post will be dedicated to an irreverent post-mortem roasting (well the roasting part has probably started already) of the thug. There will be no judging of the comments, so let the roast begin.


“What is that whistling sound…”


My work on the humor of Al-Zarqawi, first seen at Mr. Rights contest, appears under the fold.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
George Bush is probably more intelligent than we thought, it took the Iranian scientists 5 years to discover that nucular and nuclear were the same type of weapon.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
I have a cousin, whertha fuqawi, Whenever he did something wrong his mother would say his name and he’d answer, ‘We’re right here.” This was probably not a good thing

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
Lets see, one sexually inexperienced martyr to 72 inexperienced sexually frustrated virgins, being one of the virgins is probably not a good thing.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
They say Bin-laden has a sister that looks like a goat, all in all, America should reconsider the whole burka thing

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
Teach a moslem to build a fire and his protests will warm the hearts of the faithful for a month. Set an infidel on fire and he will be warm the rest of his life.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
Its always pull pin and throw grenade, not the other way.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
My cousing Whertha is so horny even his horses are dromedarys. (humped animal)

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
Allahu Akbar is good, but Allahu Cashbar is better. Allahu Openbar is the best.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
When I started Deep Thoughts I was gonna call it the Koran, but my Moslem friends did not think that was a good idea.
Then I was gonna call it ‘The Gospel According to Al-Zarqawi, but my moslem friends did not like that idea either.
Then I settled on Deep Thoughts. If that infidel pig Jack Hankey doesn’t like it I will hurry him on his way to hell. (Oh well, missed the call on that one)

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
The Israeli’s are devious tricksters, I once picked someone up at the airport for an Israeli. He gave me a sign to hold with the persons name. The sign read ‘Rosh Katan.’

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
The desert is a lot like the beach, except no water.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
The Oil for Food ploy was just I one big American Plot, I tried some on my Swarma once and it tasted just like crap.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
Hokey Religions and ancient weapons are no match for a fervent belief in Islam and an AK47…. er let me rethink that.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
SPF-45 – ‘Nuff said. (Probably not good enough where ya are now Al)

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
If camels are the ships of the desert, then I’ve been keel-hauled a few times too many… if ya know what I mean.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
Two piece suits are OK, but it is not a good idea to accept a three piece suit from anyone.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
I also think Hagar the Horrible is a really bad cartoon

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
Other really stupid American Instructions? How ’bout
Shampoo — Wash, Rinse, Repeat
I mean its a friggin’ desert out here.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
I tried condoms once, but I couldn’t breath once it was fitted snuggly over the head, American are such idiots when it comes to writing directions.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
Tonight I Will watch my favorite movie BrokeBactrian Mountin’ on aLJazeera… That is not a deep thought, I just thought you would like to know.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
If you are not the lead Camel the view is always the same. However, if you live in a cave or spiderhole, the view is always the same as well.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
Red Bull gives you Wings, but a hellfire missile is well named.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
You go to war with the terrorists you have, not the terrorists you may want or wish to have at a later time.

DEEP THOUGHTS – by Al-Zarqawi
You may wonder why anyone would need 72 Virgins, well my friends sand does not make a great aphrodisiac.

AND SOME OTHERS

“This demo will have to suffice, until we teach the Camel’s with friggin laser beams attached to their heads to stop looking at us.”

“Truce? There will be no Truce. Until we need to reload.”

“…and now I would like to honor the most recent martyrs for Allah…
Hous bin Pharten.
I’zheet m’Drurz
Mustaf Herod Apyur Poupr

… hold the cue cards still … Why are you laughing? …Why haven’t I heard of these men before?”

“OK so Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammad walk into a bar…”(BANG)

When Earl got to #218 on his list he knew he was gonna have a little problem with making reparations.

After the 47th take when Al-Zarqawi still could not say Vitaminavegamin, he shot the camera man.

“I’ve always wanted one since I was young, but my momma said, ‘You’ll put your eye out.'”

FILED UNDER: Humor, , , , , , ,
Rodney Dill
About Rodney Dill
Rodney is an IT Implementation Consultant in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He contributed to OTB from November 2004 until retiring in July 2017, hosting some 1200 OTB Caption Contests.

Comments

  1. Elmo says:
  2. I like Kevin McGehee’s comment on another blog: “May all his virgins look like Helen Thomas”

  3. DL says:

    I can’t wait until Jimmy Carter to announce that he will go forth to rebuild this safe house (for humanity of course.)

  4. SgtFluffy says:

    If only he had sent out that last chain letter to Osama

  5. ICallMasICM says:

    Go to the comments for laughs

  6. LJD says:

    kABUom Musab Al-Zarqawi.
    Rest in pieces.

  7. Alan Kellogg says:

    Today it was annouced that, unlike previous announcements, not only was al Zarqawi dead, he was really most sincerely dead.

  8. McGehee says:

    I like Kevin McGehee’s comment

    Heh.

  9. Al Franken says:

    I am OUTRAGED at your repeated unauthorized use of my humor. Repeatedly using the “Deep Thoughts” theme is nothing but a cheap ripoff of my comedic genius!

    You should be ashamed of yourself and then write me a check for royalties.

    Please, I really need all the help I can get.
    –Al