Caption Contest

Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM

No Bull this time. I promise.

(AP Photo/David Hume Kennerly, Pool)

Winners will be announced Monday PM

FILED UNDER: Uncategorized,
Rodney Dill
About Rodney Dill
Rodney is an IT Implementation Consultant in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He contributed to OTB from November 2004 until retiring in July 2017, hosting some 1200 OTB Caption Contests.


  1. The Man says:

    Your Secretary of Defense wears combat boots.

  2. wavemaker says:

    “Begging your pardon, sir….we need your tie for a tourniquette.”

  3. bithead says:

    Don showed up a little over-dressed for bomb retreival duty

  4. Eric J says:

    “Who let one rip? That’s an unknown unknown, son.”

  5. Russ says:

    “Yes, that rig would work in a crowd of yuppies, Mr. Secretary, but here it doesn’t blend in with anything.”

  6. Mr. Secretary, I already told you, you’re going to have to eat MRE’s because the prisoner banquet is for the prisoners.

  7. sgtfluffy says:

    I’m thinkin we need more Cowbell….

  8. T. Harris says:

    Son, I’ve got to piss like a Russian race horse. Get me a Koran ASAP!

  9. Rachel Edith says:

    “Sir, the short list would be whips, hoods, leashes, shackles, fake menstrual blood, bras, panties, snarling dogs, a dancefloor and several cameras.”

  10. McGehee says:

    Gunny: “What’s the matter, Pansy Boy? Life in the Pentagon too tough for ya? You want Gunny to wipe yer nose for ya? Drop and gimme 20, Crybaby!”

    Rumsfeld: “[sigh] I love you, Mom.”

  11. Sir, brown shoes do not go with that suit, sir. Also, no white after Labor Day, sir.

  12. Maniakes says:

    One of these things is not like the other ones, not like the other ones, not like the other ones…

  13. LJD says:

    This is the latest in combat businesswear: a kevlar asbestos matrix, with a stain-free coating. Not only does it protect you from IEDs and bullets, but your enemy’s blood wipes off with a damp cloth! Just because you’re at war doesn’t mean you should give up looking good!

  14. Phil Smith says:

    Rummy: “Is that a ceramic plate in your vest, or are you just happy to see me?”

  15. Kenny says:

    “Mr. Secretary, Valerie Plame is in my kevlar. You should see what the fella behind me is totin’.”

  16. jim says:

    Rumsfeld seems like he should be the one with the kevlar vest.

    Nice shoes Mr. Secretary.

  17. Hodink says:

    Rummy – “I hear a voice and I wish I didn’t and in a minute I’m going to put my fingers in my ears and repeat ‘la la la la la la la’ for 5 minutes.”

  18. Lorg Skyegon says:

    Um, sir? XYZ, sir.

  19. Scott_T says:

    Mr. Secretary, with all due respect, your barn-door is open.

  20. Volltt says:

    Sir, I know you brought your ass-kickin boots, but with all due respect, were late for the press conference.

  21. Anderson says:

    Casually wearing his combat boots, Rumsfeld hoped that the troops would accept him as “one of them,” only in a suit that would cost “one of them” a month’s pay.

  22. “Forget about the hummers, sir. After that meal, why aren’t you uparmoring the latrines?”

  23. Steven L. says:

    “You ever spend time in a Turkish prison, son?”

  24. wheelz says:

    Forget about Don’t Ask…Don’t tell sir!!!
    I love you man!!!!

  25. melvin toast says:

    Today will be a day long remembered. It has seen the death of Kenobi, and will soon see the end of the Rebellion

  26. Brian O'Neill says:

    “Hey guys, you really think this cardboard cut-out of Rumsfeld will fool Zarqawi?”

  27. Brian O'Neill says:

    “Seriously Sir, there’s no-one here for you to torture. You shouldn’t believe everything Ted Kennedy says.”

  28. Brian O'Neill says:

    “Are you feeling okay, Sir. That bull’s horn must have hurt like hell.”

  29. Brian O'Neill says:

    “I’m sorry some of the guys shit in your shoes, Sir. It’s just their way of saying ‘Hi’.”

  30. Brian O'Neill says:

    “Don’t worry Sir, lots of guys get the runs after their first meal here. We call it Baghdad belly.”

  31. Brian O'Neill says:

    Thinks: “Uh-oh! I hope I packed my Depends.”

  32. Brian O'Neill says:

    Thinks: “Now where the hell am I again? Looks like Iraq. Afghanistan? Have we invaded Iran yet? Where the hell am I?”

  33. Brian O'Neill says:

    “Sir, why do I have wear the suicide vest?”

  34. Brian O'Neill says:

    “Son, I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name,
    And that’s why I’m standin’ here – my ass is in pain.”

  35. Brian O'Neill says:

    “Son, if Brian O’Neill posts one more smart-aleck comment on here, I want you to go Abu Ghraib on his sorry ass, and that’s an order!”

    “Sir Yes Sir!”

  36. Brian O'Neill says:

    “Sir . . . Uhhh . . . When you say you’re in desperate need of a hummer, do you mean . . . ?”

  37. XK says:

    Good! The emperor is not as forgiving as I am!

  38. spacemonkey says:

    Rummy: I love the smell of molten sand in the morning…

  39. Brian O'Neill says:

    “Well, Sir, first of all we tickle them with a feather. If that doesn’t work, we turn on the Aguillera. If that doesn’t do the trick, then we get Lindsey Lohan to rub her boobies up against them.”

    “Now THAT is downright fiendish! Hah! You know Son, I almost feel sorry for those bastards. They don’t stand a chance against The Great Satan!”

  40. Brian O'Neill says:

    “Where the hell are my shoes!?”

    “Don’t worry Sir. We’ve got Veronica Mars on the case!”

  41. Hermoine says:

    “Sorry, Sir. Ok, so you are not seeking comfort food but comfort. Over here we call it something else and that would be available at the second tent on your right.”

  42. Hermoine says:

    Rumsfeld (L)
    “Son, remain nonchalant. David Hume Kennerly, the Pulitzer Prize winning photographer, is taking our picture and it could make us famous.”

    Miller (R)
    “Sir, I’m already more famous than I care to be.”

  43. Rachel Edith says:

    “Nothing personal, sir, but you are ugly and your mother does dress you funny.”

  44. Thom says:

    “Our weapons are useless against the spacecraft, sir. There’s some sort of force field protecting the hull.”

  45. Timmer says:

    …and after we tie their hands behind their backs sir, we lead them to their cells where we have half-clad, 19 year old, female personnel do a lap dance on them to “torture” and “degrade” them…but I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested.

    Rummy: Carry on, son. If they can take it, I can.

  46. Jufray says:

    “Sorry sir, but CONDIS’ leather dominatrix outfit…
    did a little bit more for me.”