Monday, April 16, 2007
Time for Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
brought to you by Rodney Dill — TIME MAGAZINE Person Of The Year — 2006
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
* A baby with it’s rattle.
If I had a hammer . . .
I’d hammer in the morning . . .
Stop! Hammer time!
No! More! Wooden! GAVELS!
When you have a big enough hammer, every problem looks like a nail.
Next Season on ABC: “Extreme Makeover, Botox Edition”.
“While You Were Out” Washington edition.
The people of the United States have spoken and George Bush can no longer whack moles with impunity. It is the job of Congress to now deal with this mole problem!
“And the benchmark is SOLD to the Representative from Mississippi’s Second Congressional District!”
**** WARNING: ANOTHER FACELIFT JOKE ****
Watch this. When I smile the hammer goes up. When I frown it goes down. Up. Down. Up. Down….
Photo to accompany the dictionary definition of “smug”.
Oh I just love my new gavel, it’s made of a new environmentally friendly synthetic wood just like my face.
I’ll show you how we did it in Syria….!
“Madame Speaker, let’s keep your bedroom activities out of government.”
Pelosi suckered Cheney into ‘proving his manhood’ by having both of them whip it out and pound it with a gavel.
Only Glenn Reynolds seemed to enjoy the sight of Pelosi pounding the puppies heads. mmmm – puppy shakes.
What’s on the post it note:
Kiss Assad’s butt
Kiss Ahmadinejad’s butt
Kiss Kim’s butt
And here we see work that Pelosi is willing to do but apparently the free spending republicans weren’t.
Speak cattily and carry a big stick.
“Am I doing this right?”
Judge Judy’s new job.
And with a hearty thump of her gavel, Nancy Pelosi called to order the newly formed Concerned Communists Congressional Caucus. The group had been defunded during Republican control of Congress.
1) I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK!
2) Notice how even the gavel in the House of Representatives was changed? Out with the old Mahogany one and in with a Cedar one.
3) Flappy-wristed Rep’.
4) When the US Marines told her to “Pound Sand”, she took them up on it.
5) Speaker Pelosi posing for America’s most anticipated sequal, “Team America: Let the world burn down arround Us”
1) “You will notice that this gavel appears more lifelike and less wooden than my face…”
2) “Oh Mr. Cheney, I’ll make you bark like a dog.”
3) “So is this wax on, or wax off?”
4) New from RonCo comes the Pelosimatic. It slices, dices and make julienne fries (whatever they are). It works non-stop for 100 days without accomplishing anything.
Congressional ethics not included.
That’s it! Hold Dick’s hand right there.
Nancy Pelosi brings in the 1st session of the Shadow Presidency with a Bang.
Alright, where’s the coconut?
“Ok, I’m gonna show you all how to do the Limbo.”
When all you want to do is nail Bush, every solution looks like a hammer.
Nancy plays whack-a-prole.
How fast can we get out of Iraq and take it off the table for the next election? Two years, two years, two years from the gentlelady from New York, do I hear eighteen months, eighteen months, eighteen months from the gentleman from Ohio, can I get twelve months, twelve months from the representative from Massachusetts, how about six months, six months, out of Iraq in six months from the ex-Marine from Pennsylvania.. sold!
California has the Terminator, D.C. has the Tenderizer.
“I negotiated strenuously with Assad in Syria, and I’m proud to announce that only those living east of the Mississippi in America will be subject to Sharia law.”
Actually Nancy plays Whack-a-Ho, unfortunately the wrong Don is her first victim.
This Gavel that Assad Gave me is really good! Except I dont understand why it has two wires hanging out?
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Yes Hillary, I could hold it the other way…why do you ask?
Pelosi plays Bush Whack, a variation of Whac-A-Mole.
“Why I oughta pound you!”
Nancy discovers that Mjollnir isn’t all that impressive once you actually get to wield it.
The little dummer girl.
1. Mark Twain once observed that the trained flea is vastly more entertaining than a politician. Nancy Pelosi has banged that theory into the ground.
2. Nancy’s version of rap.
3. With each rap of the gavel, an angel get’s its wings.
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