Monday, March 31, 2008
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
Well…I guess it’s better than those giant condoms that washed up on shore last year.
We’re keeping the dip in a warehouse downtown.
I thought you were supposed to bring the ice.
Okay, now we have bottles large enough to hold the ships, what’s next?
I think packaging these new flavored martinis to entice the younger drinking crowd has gone too far.
The straws are coming by barge tommorrow.
* Cindy Sheehan loudly protested this increased state of readiness, calling it a prelude to war.
Oh, great Gulliver had another party last night and didn’t invite us.
Don’t fire until you see the yellow in their headlights.
I shit you not, Joe, Fox News said our drinking water is full of testosterone .
If that’s what the nuclear waste is doing to the bottles, I’m scared to see the fish.
Paulson – A revamp of the U.S. financial regulatory landscape will keep the system afloat.
President Lech Kaczynski announced that Poland’s currently outdated missile defenses will be replaced in the near future with ten US interceptor missiles.
Hillary describes her trip down the Bay Hap River in southern Vietnam when she was attacked by a strange contingent of Viet Cong boats. Deja vu, John Kerry, all over again.
* What did you THINK I meant when I said she had Big Bottles, John? Sheesh.
* Marketing campaign for Oprah’s new perfume.
* The resulting game of “Spin The Bottle” required two cranes and a backhoe.
* Care for another bottle of champagne, m’dear?
* Look, Marge, I don’t care HOW much we save by buying in bulk…
* Look, guys’ They must’ve bottled Rosie O’Donnell!!
* The new ethenol distrbution system needed a little more work
* You oughta see the ROCKETS!!
* Nine bottles of beer in the wall… nine bottles ofd beer….
* Padron me… where’s the men’s room?
Has anybody here seen my old soda pop bottle?
Can you tell me where it’s gone?
He slaked a lot of people,
But it seems the good bottles they die young.
You know, I just looked around and he’s gone.
Somewhere a lib enviromentalist …. climaxes.
Al Gore’s new idea for protecting the environment, from plastic waste, was proving to be difficult. Many homeless types, who in the past have helped with recycling litter waste. Have been sidelined with back injuries, while trying to redeem the one thousand dollar deposit.
Imams today, all across the Middle-East, called for a fatwa against the decadent West, and their satanic soda.
“Sorry to say it but the issue of plastic water bottle pollution is bigger than the both of us combined.”
“Yes, you’re right, it’s pretty clear. Certainly colorful though.”
I think we’ve found the source of the Obama Koolaid.
Chinese Communist Party plans to release the bottled air just in time to clear the smog for the Beijing Olympics.
President Obama inspects new gunboats ordered by NavSec Howard Dean.
* Introducing Bartles and James’ Party Size.
* There came a time when even the large sized energy drinks didn’t cut it, anymore…. though Ralph did make a rather nice buzzing noise, even while sleeping.
* Live, from the Competitive Drinking World Championship…
* (Hic)….. Nope…. She’s STILL not pretty.
Giant soda bottles haul themselves ashore for recyclo-mating season.
Well there’s your carbon foot print problem in all those plastic bottles.
I think there was a measurement mix up between engineering and marketing on the ‘super size me’ campaign.
Bottle rockets … their not just for the Fourth of July anymore.
So you next put the super delegates in the bottles, seal the lid and shake them until they make a decision.
Artists, sheesh. Don’t they know the value of product placement advertising?
I don’t get it. Every bottle has the same message looking for this Gulliver fellow.
The Sao Paulo economic miracle was started when people started cashing in on the returnable bottle rewards.
The launch of our new “It takes a village” size soda bottle is held up for want of labels.
These new buoys look familiar.
I’m having second thoughts about using the lowest cost bidder for the construction of our new missile submarines.
Three Mile Island comes back to haunt the Susquehanna River basin.
I said just a splash of soda.
What? The invitation said BYOBB. How was I to know it was a typo. I thought it meant ‘Bring Your Own Big Bottles’
Preparations are already underway for Ego Soda’s mega-advertisement during next year’s Super Bowl halftime.
* The Beauty is, we’ll get lots of traffic for ’em on Ebay, but shipping’s gonna be a problem….
Having just arrived from Disneyworld, where he saw, and was chased by, a giant mouse, a giant duck, and a humongous cricket, John DT’s finally drive him over the edge upon arrival in San Paulo.
Why do I get the feeling I’ve woken up inside a Frank Zappa record?
The diabolical Diet Coke and Mentos IED.
Hillary’s re-occuring dreams were finally scrutinized, it appears she has some bottled up emotions about something.
With cemetary plots now at a premium in the ever crowded city of Sao Paulo. Concrete Valley’s Peaceful Plastic Park, has yet to sell a crypt to any families in bereavement.
Some men see things as they are and say why – I dream things that never were and say why not.
Jolt Cola, now available in take it with you to the Surface of the Sun Size.
Violently shaking the bottles, and then getting some ususpecting April Fools victim to open one. Proved to be more difficult than Louie or his pals had imagined.
We were warned about the nanny state.
After Anubis left London, he partied in Sao Paulo.
* Wow… just think of the Candles we can make from these, once the pop is gone….
* In their recycled form, they are used as Booster rockets for the Space Shuttle.
* Slam a DEW!!!!
* Honey, I shrunk the planet
* Drink sizes at fast food places, continue to get larger
* AirBus 380’s, awaiting the last stage of asembly.
* What can I say? I write really long messages.
Look, I told you… this stuff isn’t going to make me huge.. it’s DIET soda.
Litter in Brobdinag.
Well, the good news is we have a way to capture all that extra CO2 Al Gore’s worried about….
The bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond …. have changed a wee bit oer the centuries.
Rev Wright: “Now I’m addicted and Goddamn America, Goddamn 7-11 for creating the Super-Duper Giant Mega-Monster 300,000 ounce Quickie-Cola!”
The Intergalactic Space Alien Credo ….. Kidnap only Appalachians. Leave only giant empty bottles of Tang.
DENVER, Colorado – In advance of this fall’s Democratic Convention, members of the DNC prepare the Kool-Aid.
* The Canal USED to be a lot higher… till we filled the bottles…
* Look, when you told me I was the cook and chief bottle washer, you didn’t tell me about THIS…..
* Unscented perfume… it’s really big.
* The bottles were free, but the Lobotomy….
* Honestly, Honey… I only drank the six-pack…
As the frightened humans saw that the aliens had landed in their festive bottle rockets overnight, tensions were lifted when one of the spacemen said “Take us to your liter”
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