Thursday, September 25, 2008
Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Monday PM
“… simply take this giant coupon to your nearest Obama campaign headquarters and you will experience his plan for change.”
Ugh! Who cares if they’re “free”, don’t YOU even think about touching ME!
* Dear John….
* It was that coupon for a free can of deoderant that changed Cecil’s life.
Paper in hand, side one reads: over
Side two: over
Here in America we are in somewhat of a money sitch and are having a tough time gaining consensus on fixing the problem. One method, and for this Uncle Sam needs YOU, is our “free paper with every mortgage and a hug in every home” campaign. You game?.
After two weeks at his new job … Juan found his check from the Great Mall of Sydney. Not much to get excited about.
Better read the instructions before I hold up the sign…
Being a product of public education, Waldo had to repeatedly read the instructions for his latest assignment.
November 4, 2008: Emergency Hugger Bruce Cantwell receives rush orders to report to DNC headquarters.
“Free hugs? I thought I was gonna get free DRUGS!”
Jason reads the letter from his lawyer about the accusations of his groping mall shoppers.
“Do I turn left or right to get to Lehman Brothers….”
You get what you pay for.
Hidden by Dwane’s arm, people were unaware that the sign said “FACE HUGS”
Typhoid Harry preparing to make history.
A faithful American prepares to announce the government soulution to the financial crisis.
I wonder if he’ll show up at the public library where that street person who hasn’t bathed in five years lives?
Let’s see now, it says to go least, five blocks and then south one block and a Mr Barney Frank will answer the door.
How does he earn a living giving away free hugs? He makes it up in volume.
It turns out that while the hugs are free, they are the cheap foreign made imported hugs, not the real, genuine American hugs.
The ‘Free sex’ opening line wasn’t working to well, but the less threatening approach isn’t going so hot either.
I am a secretary treasure of United States. We have a need to quickly move $700 billion dollars to avert a global financial crisis and your assistance would be of greatest profit to you and I. After sending your checking account number, please to make up sign offering ‘FREE HUGS’ and our local representative will meet you at the mall to provide your remuneration.
I really don’t think a ‘Dear John’ letter and a sign for free hugs qualifies as letting him down easy.
Dang yahoo maps. This isn’t a day care.
Scraggs laments the small number of signatures on his petition to get his friend Hugs out of prison.
Let’s see. Hooters should be just at the end of this hallway…
Oh sure, the first one’s free. Then you get addicted to love and he owns you.
*Just buy one hug at are already low, low price of $99.99 and get a second hug absolutely free.
I didn’t know Barr had a beard.
See that guy in the background? That’s the way it is with free enterprise. You come up with an idea. You invest in signage. And then someone comes in and undercuts you.
I wonder how much that guy in the purple checkered shirt just made.
What? I have to pay sales tax on the real market value of my product.
Instruction paper: “…and thank you for your participation. For your fabulous free online gift go to http://www.rodneydill.com“
Tim receives a citation for not having free hugs written on his sign also in Espagnol.
I have been watching you all day..”FREE HUGS”…right! You have been pick-pocketing people all day. Cut me in for half or I turn you in.
P.S. Can I have my wallet back?
“Free finger.” I don’t get it.
“Free Hugs”! He felt it was the least Juan Mann could do.
Leo Buscaglia Jr. takes a shot at his father’s legacy.
Bill Clinton thought bubble: Now why didn’t I think of that?
Hmmm, if I move over to Wall Street…but no, I’ll be overwhelmed.
Dear Free Hugs Guy,
Please hug David Letterman for me.
Instruction paper: “…and after work, bring home a quart of milk, a loaf of bread and an ear-wax removal kit.”
Another place in the Mall trying to get rid of their used organs.
Juan’s business model sucked in the execution, but his fundamentals were still good.
On reverse of sign: “FIVE UNIT LIMIT FOR 401(K)OWNERS”
Instruction paper: “To “give” a proper hug, you must first extend your arms horizontally, palms facing inward…”
On his compass, made entirely of recycled materials. Liberal Loon checks the direction, before flying south for the winter.
Wikipedia says it all: “Human sweat itself is largely odorless until it is fermented by bacteria. Bacteria thrive in hot, humid, acidic environments. The human underarm is among the consistently warmest areas on the surface of the human body, and sweat glands provide moisture, which when excreted, has a vitally cooling effect. When adult armpits are washed with pH basic soaps, the skin loses its acid mantel (pH 4.5 – 6), raising the pH to become basic. Bacteria thrive in high pH or base environments. Creating such an environment in the armpit makes it more susceptible to bacterial colonization. The bacteria feed on the sweat from the apocrine glands and on dead skin and hair cells, releasing 3-methyl-2-hexenoic acid in their waste, which is the primary cause of body odor. It is healthy and necessary to sweat. Underarm hair is designed to wick the moisture away from the skin and aids in keeping the skin dry enough to prevent or diminish bacterial colonization. The hair is less susceptible to bacterial growth and therefore is ideal for preventing the bacterial odor.”
Wavy Gravy’s Groovy Love Potion Recipe:
1. Proper signage
2. A bongo
3. A time machine
Make a one-time donation
Caption Contest Winners
Iraqi Yellowcake Uranium Moved to Montreal
TurboTax Tricking Poor People into Paying for Free Filing