Thursday, September 22, 2005
Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Monday PM
Politics is “going to the dogs” is no longer rhetorical.
Your candidate is an excellent choice….for me to poop on!!
Everyone votes, but the dogs really run things.
Picture entered into the record by Ted Kennedy, during the questioning of John Roberts, over Roberts’ opinions of the 1964 Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act.
News item: A new state law requiring voters to be accompanied by a dog when they go to the polls, amounts to an illegal “poll tax,” according to the ACLU and other activist groups.
“Having a dog requires an expenditure of money,” argued an ACLU attorney. “If they’re going to require possession of a dog to vote, the government needs to provide dogs free of charge to every eligible voter in the state.”
A spokesman for the governor branded the lawsuit as “a travesty” and insisted, “The purpose of the law is to ensure that people know before they vote what can happen if the country really does go to the dogs.”
It was an interesting time in Florida after the state BOE noticed that dogs had an easier time reading their ballots than PEOPLE did.
Guess which ballot won’t be counted.
Woof Rrrrr woof
Now you hail Democracy? I don’t recall us voting before getting me neutered!
Hey cutie, what’s a sweet thing like you doing in a place like this?
Dog on left: “What? Chad is pregnant!? Don’t look at me!”
Left Dog: Don’t blame me, I voted for Kerry.
Right Dog: Don’t blame me, I voted for Dole.
It turned out it was a black and white issue they were voting on.
“We all have a dog in this fight.”
“Hey, Triumph… I’ll give you ten bucks if you dump a load on his shoe right when he pulls the lever.”
“Ehhh… you’d have to pay me not to.”
Liberal voters ask and get assistance in voting.
Pugsy and Imp, with a little help from their roommates, vote for Hillary.
George Bush hates black dogs.
FOUR unidentified “registered” Democrats vote straight party tickets in Chicago.
Dateline Miami-Dade County, FL – Lawyers for Al Gore demanded that all ballots be counted if they featured the slightest hint of drool or chew marks to avoid disenfranchising “Canine American Voters.” All absentee ballots from active-duty U.S. War Dogs, however, were quickly disqualified on technicalities.
“Ah, don’t look so sad, buddy, this is a pretty good gig. All we have to do is help these idiots pull the straight ticket lever with the big “D” on it. Believe me, it could be a LOT worse. I got a cousin from Jersey who works as a cadaver dog.
In order to encourage greater voter turnout, Tuesday is Bring You Dog To The Polls Day.
aka Bring Your Dog To The Polls Day.
Pssst… I’ve got some shampoo that Michael Jackson suggested I use to clear that “condition” up.
Herr Schmidt, “I see you brought your new vote puncher Herr Richard. I read my instructions yesterday.
Lift the tail. Insert ballot. Then lower the tail gently to place your vote.”
Herr Richard, “But I just don’t understand how they’ll know which candidate we voted for.”
Herr Schmidt, “It doesn’t matter who we vote for, be we all recognize that they all a piece of *&$% politicans that they truely are.”
What’s the big deal? Dogs vote in St. Louis in every election — and not with provisional ballots either, they are fully registered.
“That is canine profiling, and I resent it!”
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Caption Contest Winners
OTB Caption Contest Winners