Thursday, January 1, 2009
Time for the New Years OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Monday PM
The Decider does something noteworthy.
I was nailed to a cross once for y’all and I ain’t gonna do it again! See, I still have the scars!
“God tells me how the music should sound, but you stand in the way.â€
(With abject apologies to Arturo Toscanini)
Cnducting the War
Well, I’ve held the baton and faced the music for eight years, now it’s time to lay it down and start to “de-compose”.
And now with a magic word the economy will be restored: BAILOUT
“Uhhh… sir? You dropped one of your chopsticks. And we’re serving the soup course now anyway.”
“Can it, Dick. I’ve decided to have to have some a’ that ‘egg-foo-yung’ stuff tonight.”
Boosh through a libwuhl’s eyes:
Closer … closer … look into my eyes, your eyelids are getting heavy … so heavy. Sleep … you are getting drowsy. When I count to three, you will awaken and invade Iraq.
Don’t bogart that joint my friend … pass it over to me.
Rachmaninoff my arse …. I’m taking a shoe off (thazz right I’m a fookin hero!).
Whiners, a pick up the volume a bit. You’re being over powered by the moaners and gripers.
Never bring a baton to a knife fight
As a parting gesture, Bush offers Obama some instant backbone
Try to snatch the pebbles from my hand grasshopper
Bush pauses to enjoy the extra second added to 2008
The baton death march
“Ok choir, to the tune of We Shall Overcome. Ready? One and a two and a …’We shall smite the gay. With abortion do away. Find those missing WMDs some dayyyyyyy. Ohhhhhhhhh deep in my heart. I do foresee. That we shall regain power one day. We shall resurrect. Get back our respect. Find someone to elect. Some dayyyyyyy. Ohhhhhhhhh deep in my heart. I do foresee. That we shall regain power one day.'”
Nosepicker — Mission Accomplished!
“Well Barack, it looks like it’s time for me to pass this to you. It’s an awful tough audience and from what I hear they’re expecting a perfect performance from you. All I can tell you is just don’t disappoint them.”
The President learns that it was easier to conduct a war.
(1) In a parallel universe, George W. Bush is an amateur conductor of Mahler’s second symphony, while a professional statesman becomes president of the United States in 2001.
(2) “Karl, when it’s time for the tuba to come in, I will damn well point at you … kapish?”
The emperor cut the air with his baton, and all who saw him exclaimed “what beautiful music he is making. Listen to the horn section! Feel the boom of the drums!” Nobody wanted to admit that he could not see the musicians or hear any music, for then he would be thought stupid or unfit for his office. Never was music conducted by an emperor praised more effusively.
At last a little child said, “but there is no orchestra.”
[with apologies to Hans Christian Andersen]
No shoes, please, just blessed music.
Ah, the sound of bombs and missile strikes is music to my ears.
“We had a great time at the concert. The President did a fine job. The only annoyance was the retrieve-your-shoe-line on the way out.”
“I’m the conductorer.”
“Damn, I dropped my carrot.”
“I understand that Baroque music will be popular soon.”
“Shoot, don’t you guys know anything other than Handel’s Messiah?”
Q: What’s the difference between a bull and an orchestra?
A: On a bull, the horns are in front and the asshole is in back.
Although this is Bush’s swan song, the refrain for the next two years will continue to be “It’s all George Bush’s fault.”
The Bush doctrine is really quite simple: You just sing, sing your song, you make it simple to last your whole life long. You don’t worry if it’s not good enough for anyone else to hear, you just sing, SING YOUR SONG!
Almost over. Not quite. Just waiting for the fat lady to sing.
It is just my imagination or do I see visions of Columbo when I look at pictures of the President?
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
His name is my name too.
Whenever we go out
The people always shout,
“There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.”
Now that I am done conducting the war, where should I stick this?
Judging from the smile, somebody hit a sour note!
HAHA..this is what we used to mess up those darn chads so I could be president. Poke poke poke, or is that polk? poak? oh well, I won, who needs a smart president anyway. Blackburn, or was that Blackwell, well, anyway, he sent it back, yep, it worked in Ohio too, so I can keep it for a souvener, or is that sofuneer, oh hell….its been fun, happy new year folks. And I didn’t get impeached, haha…huh? what 911…..
The question, “What if he’s got a pointed stick?” has been answered.
Dance, you liberal puppets, DANCE!
I talked softly but maybe I should have carried a bigger stick
Anyone seen my life sized voodoo doll of Harry Reid…??
Once the Obama Jug Band arrived, the Maestro took his seat.
“Laura tells me I need to start using something other than my middle finger.”
“Dang it, I’m so impressive.”
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Caption Contest Winners