Monday, October 3, 2005
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thusday PM
… ” and so the dog says, ‘OK, maybe I shoulda said Shingles?'”?
Yes, Mr. Bush, you are correct. Had you made the choice of John Roberts during the previous Pope’s administratrion, your pennance for his selection would have been much less.
In a rare public meeting, Washington’s Holy Trinity is caught in conversation on the steps of the National Cathedral.
rectum…damn near killed em
“Actually, the hardest part about my job is keeping the reds and the whites separate in the wash.”
“As you have discovered, a conference is a gathering of important people who individually can’t do anything but together can decide that nothing can be done.”
“My favorite part is when Jayne said, ‘Let’s be bad guys.'”
I greatly appreciate your offer, but I can’t see myself serving as an associate justice under the bozo on my left. You’ll just have to appoint your lawyer or something.
* Guess I shouldn’t have had the Chili, huh?
* and so I said… I said… “Sorry, that was a clerical error”
* Mr President, did you know I used to be a professional wrestler?
“No, seriously, Mr. President, the Lord said that you should nominate Harriet Miers to replace O’Connor.”
“Hey, man, can you get me and my boyz some of those pointy hats?”
“Talk about irony. I got one this big and can’t even use it.”
President Bush looks on as John Roberts unveils the robe he intends to wear during his tenure as Chief Justice.
So after Blackmun finishes his schpeil, St Peter looks at him, shakes his head and says “bonitas non est pessimis esse meliorem.”
…So Clinton asks me, “Is saying I didn’t know that woman Miss Lewinsky ” a sin or not?
“Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Rabbi, and the Minister, who went fishing?”
“George, if you’re going to take the Astros I’d be a fool not to go with the Bosox!”
So every Sunday in John Kerry’s Church we find a bottle of Heinz Ketchup in the collection basket. Do I look like the kind of guy that would tell a lie?
So Kerry’s wife offers $20 million big ones to the Pope if he would allow Cardinals and Bishops to wear blue till the election’s over.”
So Kerry actually asked to borrow my hat and bible for the second debate.
* The funny part is, Mr. President, I’m only in this business because I was told I’d meet a lotta chicks…
* This message brought to you with love by the First Church of Binary Science (The Digitarians) (I’ve been waiting bloody YEARS to use that one)
* Go now and sin no more, said Tom vicariously
* There’s another dead Bishop on the landing! I’ll call the Chruch Police!
* Sorry I missed Church, I’ve been busy having a sex change operation and becoming a Lesbian.
* My church accepts all denominations, $1, $5, $10, $20
* Mr Bush and the first lady paid a visit last Sunday to The Church of St. Humid the Incontinent.
* Mr President, I must ask you; Did you call the B.A.T.F. on the Lutheran Church next door?
* While on the way out, after the service, the President took the time to explain why he walked in wearing a T-Shirt that said “Hoof Hearted? Ice Melted”.
Can you imagine, Mr. President, the captions that they’ll run on OTB under THIS phto-op?
“Imagine my embarrassment. I come out of the restroom and a big sign above the door flashes for everyone to see, DIDN’T WASH HANDS! DIDN’T WASH HANDS!”
Padre, why are all y’all in red dresses?
Bush: So, you guys wear boxers or briefs under hem robes?
Cardinal McCarrick: Actually, its like a kilt……
“My hatmaker has asked me to talk to you about making hats fashionable again. So, I’ll give my blessing to any hats you wear. You people could use blessings, right?”
After being confirmed, Chief Justice Roberts introduced President Bush to his stealth source on constitutional interpretation. The Pope explained that Roberts had been talking about original sin, not original intent when he said he was an ‘orignialist’.
“Priests marry? Dubya, Randy Travis said it best. ‘On the other hand, there’s a golden band to remind of someone who would not understand.'”
“Dude, where’s my car?”
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