Monday, October 24, 2005
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
Desite a rough, fog-bound landing, Xlkyzzlpq781 and his shipmates from the Alpha Centauri system readily agreed to appear as Guests of Honor in the town’s annual Founders Day parade.
The levy is just over those Hills, and ready to be Blow Up by your Mr. President.
Although the nation is in complete quarantine, fear not. Members of Congress head for the Capital wearing their Avian Flu Protective apparel.
Despite years of hype, the public wasn’t overly enamored of the Monsters, Inc. Broadway debut.
The latest in fuel efficient vehicles to hit the market.
“Danger, Will Robinson!”
“Shut up, Ralph!”
“Just put the burrito down, Mr. Moore, and back away slowly. We’re airlifting Bean-o in as we speak.”
Captain’s Log, Earth-year 2816:
We have concluded our investigation of the third planet in the Sol system. While the extinction of this “human race” is due to several factors, all signs point to its beginning in Earth-year 2008 with the legitimate election of human Hillary Clinton.
In the face of rising fuel prices Mayor Nagin of New Orleans has ordered more economical methods for evaluating the use of school buses in hurricane evacuation procedures.
The Miss America Competition was revived this month with remarkable new standards.
These intrepid warriors had no idea that they would soon be the central figures in another shocking UNICEF campaign.
German engineers examine the damage after the first test of the new Fartenpooten engine went horribly wrong.
Large, Yellow, Different.
No, you freaks! You’ll never get my magic wand!
Sesame Street Quarantined!
The Avian Flu scare affects Big Bird’s Family.
AP- While estimates of the size of the anti-Iraq war protest parade were incomplete, organizers were pleased with what they described as “a large turnout”. Protest organizers, who were all protest novices and mostly disillusioned former Bush supporters, also noted that the protest’s turnout was aided by the new, mobile anti-Rovian mind ray suits. The suits allowed them to think clearly and objectively about the Iraq war without interference from Karl Rove, who is likely to be indicted for destroying the CIA this week.
As we continue our reconnassance of this planet, we must investigate the human population. Notice how our leader holds the anal probe and watch what happens next.
1. (left rear to right rear person) Do you think this suit makes me look fat? No seriously.
2. `^@&! I should gone before we left. Sir, can we go back now?
3. Final scene from “The Fog” that was left on the cutting room floor.
4. Trojan introduces it’s new line of Full body Suits designed for doctors and HazMat crews.
Michael Moore leads the charge into yet another debacle
* Mulder! FBI! Step out of the suit Kosh, we need to talk.
* The Trick or Treaters all started to look the same, after a while.
* Bring us a SHRUBBERY!
* So this is Devo’s new look, huh?
* Ever after that, the cleaning crew was called the Rubber Maids….
* I give you… The Rubber Chicken Brigade
The IOC really screwed up when they awarded the 2016 games to Chernobyl.
This is what happens when you cross steroids with the tele-tubbies,
Or better known as the STUBBIE!!
Beware these things are highly dangerous!
Teheran, April 8th, 2006.
Good Guys 1 – Bad Guys 0
Have no fear; the debauchery of Key West’s Fantasy Fest will take place despite hurricane Wilma, though the costumes will not be near as revealing as the usual body paint and feather boas! Check out these guys..err, girls…aw hell, you never can tell anyway…
We survived earthquakes, the hurricane destruction and Bird Flu. Now it is War Of The Worlds 2005. Will you live through it?
Harriet Miers continues her preparation for the Senate confirmation hearings.
What Al Roker should of worn when covering Hurricane Wilma.
Two days before the day after tomorrow.
Residents of Washington, DC walk down K Street wearing suits designed to protect them from the poisonous political atmosphere that now engulfs the nation’s capital.
Three more stealth candidates approach the white house under cover of fog for their appointed interviews with President Bush
The Wicked Witch of the East somehow survived the yellow house falling on her and was last seen with her two sisters walking in their ruby slippers.
The new uniforms for the banana workers were said to be approved by OSHA simply because they would allow workers to go seven days without need for a restroom.
The three terrorists that were caught attempting to sneak through O Hare airport security gave themselves away when an alert screener noticed their red shoes were made of dynamite!
The photo above shows the newly released Santa Suits approved by the ACLU.
The new cover of the 2005 re-release of Harry Belefonte’s famous “Banana Boat “song.
The three tasting judges carefully make their way to the podium at the “saurkraut and bean” festiful!
And when asked what the invaders like to eat, many were relieved it was, “Green eggs and ham.”
Meanwhile, inside the beltway…
We’ve come a long way sice Abbey Road. The invisible one is Paul.
Just another Tuesday in Mosul (in the alternate universe where Saddam was not deposed).
SOCOM has its own “road to Damascus” moment.
But when they told me ’bout this side of the bargain, that’s when I knew that I could not refuse, and I won’t get any older now the angels wanna wear my red shoes.
2012: “Anthrax ripple” ceases to be a Monty Python joke.
Oh no, not another Stephen King novel.
Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe and a Cat 3 Hazmat suit…
“Is anybody else’s suit riding up a little in the crotch or is it just me?”
Damnit, I told you colonizing Mars was a bad idea.
Walk like an Egyptian…
(Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo) U can’t touch this! –(Admit it you want to see Hammer dance in these suits.)
In his new as yet unreleased movie on 9/11, Oliver Stone takes more than a little artistic license moving the events from New York to Naples and substituting a dense fog of mustard gas for the act of terrorism from planes flying into buildings. But otherwise, it was a remarkably accurate portrayal of events.
Pacman Parade ’05: Ghosts Banned Again From Entering Float
Despite the mayor’s attempts to promote diversity, the Hazmat-American Pride March remained one of the Bay Area’s least popular events.
The Illini Board of Trustees quit fighting the NCAA and gave up Chief Illiniwek to become the Ambling Hazmats.
“Can you hear me now? Good.”
Napoli desperately tries to keep up with Milan in fashion.
The last three self-proclaimed “true” conservatives shunned all further human contact after Harriet Miers was confirmed with more Democratic than Republican votes. Fortunately, no one missed Pat Buchanan, George Will or Ann Coulter all that much.
High times at the Aum Shinrikyo reunion.
“I’m Adam Sandler in a hazmat suit, now gimme some candy!”
2024: Synchonized hazmat suit walking is introduced as the newest Olympic event in Naples.
I kind of liked the Shriners more when they rode their little cars in parades — it didn’t scare the kids quite as much.
O.J.’s search for the real killers takes a strange turn.
The magnificent seven — minus four.
The Wolverine Marching Band Sure Ain’t What it Used to Be.
With countless new recruits killed by insurgent snipers, U.S. military planners finally agree to redesign the uniforms for Iraq’s fledgling police force.
Associated Press photographer Vigili del Fuoco silently plotted revenge against Rodney Dill after the blogger attributed his latest photo to Seth Wenig of Reuters.
Thanks Gaijin Biker, The photo credit has been fixed.
Steve and Dave were relieved and knew from experience to stand well back as Roger took point during the monthly Paris Hilton tampon mission.
Increasingly powerful Super Soaker technology prompts Democrats to introduce new water gun control legislation mandating protective clothing.
The Suck Up Police come to get Harriet Miers.
1) The killer bee invasion reaches critical mass.
2) “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Next Generation”
3) “Can I have one try? All you can eat barbecue rib night at the Sizzler!”
4) “No fair!” cried Xerg and Splorx as Gardon sprouted a third leg and pulled away in the final stretch of the 1500 splortok relay at the Venutian Olympic Games.
5) After spending weeks living in tents and touring the country with her hippie caravan, Cindy Sheehan is assaulted by Health Dept. officials armed with soap, deodorant and a bottle of Summer’s Eve!
The latest in burqa fashions, in the alternate universe where the war on terrorism was never fought.
The three little pigs cautiously make their way through an Iraq street.
Three beekeepers seen walking their queen bees during the London Honey Festival!
Al Gore leads global warnming field research with two UN experts in tow!
The horrible aftermath of the 32nd annual Janet Reno family White Castle Gorgefest required that drastic measures be taken.
Chris Matthews, with Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame trailing behind and providing the ammo, is oblivious to the new volley of smoke being blown up his ass.
You put your left in, you pull your left out, you put your left foot in and you shake it all about…
Ok, there’s death, famine, and pestilence. Hey, wait a minute, where’s the other one?
Q: Are we not men?
Trick or treat!
Hey, it’s that new band: K-War on Teen!
John Kerry-” I think yellow suits my eye color better”
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