Outside the Beltway

Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill · Thursday, October 27, 2005 · 5 comments

The Apprentice: Kim Jong-il Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

(AP Photo/Vigili del Fuoco)

The Winners

First: charles austin – I kind of liked the Shriners more when they rode their little cars in parades — it didn’t scare the kids quite as much.

Second: Laurence Simon – “Just put the burrito down, Mr. Moore, and back away slowly. We’re airlifting Bean-o in as we speak.”

Third: Matt РDespite years of hype, the public wasn̢۪t overly enamored of the Monsters, Inc. Broadway debut.

Honorable Mention:

Chrees – Harriet Miers continues her preparation for the Senate confirmation hearings.

Maggie – Although the nation is in complete quarantine, fear not. Members of Congress head for the Capital wearing their Avian Flu Protective apparel.

McGehee – “Danger, Will Robinson!”
“Shut up, Ralph!”

The Man – The IOC really screwed up when they awarded the 2016 games to Chernobyl.

charles austin – The Illini Board of Trustees quit fighting the NCAA and gave up Chief Illiniwek to become the Ambling Hazmats.

Mr. Right – After spending weeks living in tents and touring the country with her hippie caravan, Cindy Sheehan is assaulted by Health Dept. officials armed with soap, deodorant and a bottle of Summer’s Eve!

Just Plain Nasty Award

FreakyBoy – Steve and Dave were relieved and knew from experience to stand well back as Roger took point during the monthly Paris Hilton tampon mission.

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

Helen Thomas: “President Bush, How do you stand on nuclear waste?”

Though their numbers were dwindling in recent years the entertainment value of the Chernobyl High School Marching Band was unsurpassed.

“Your Proctologist is here, Senator Kennedy.”

The devastation wrought by the real Sorcerer’s Apprentice far surpassed the Disney Fantasia version of the event.

“Uh, I told ya not to press the red button, Vern”

Three new suckers people volunteer to have books signed by Al Franken

The Monday contest is already appearing in a galaxy far, far away.