CAPTION CONTEST
And, yes, it’s time for another OTB Caption ContestTM.
Write your own caption in the comments section below
Yahoo!News Photo
Write your own caption in the comments section below
Yahoo!News Photo
FILED UNDER: Uncategorized, Contests
Mortie Siedelmann, the funniest actuary in the Five Boroughs, delivers some memorable one-liners about life expectancy charts as a warmup to his speech in front of the Greater New York Life Insurance Brokers Association (GNYLIBA).
Facing tough Congressional scrutiny over the direction of the economy, the Jedi master was quoted as saying, “Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future.”
OK, Barney. . .er, I mean, Congressman Frank. Yes, I’m evading the question. I am DOWN with evasion, man. DOWN WITH IT. It is what I do best.
“Ok, I’ve got good news and bad news.”
“The good news is that due to my brilliant financial finagling less of you will be sodomized by the economy this month.”
“The bad news is that its YOUR turn.”
“I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is that we’re heading towards a second Great Depression. The good news is that I’ll be dead in a month so I don’t give a fuck.”
(Audience participation caption)
Not normally reknowned for eloquence in speaking skills Greenspan “wowed” the audience on a plethora of topics spanning the gamut of Economy to Proctology.
(Audience participation part – you match to bolded word the picture that matches it best for you)
“Yeah, it’s called AOL Journal. Andrea signed me up. You just write whatever and click a button and there it is, for all the world to read. I think this is going to be HUGE! Probably increase Tech Capital Expenditures by ONE MILLION PERCENT!”
“And after I smack you down congressman, I am going to mash your face in the ground, and grind it till you cry uncle. ”
Greenspan thoughts while listening to a Congressman acting knowledgable on about macroeconomics.
Rate cuts there will be, um hmmmmm,
for the dark side is weakening, it is…
Trust in the ‘Force’ young Dubya for in you strong it flows… yes…
“Allow me to share with you my favorite song lyric.
‘Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay,
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be,
There’s a shadow hanging over me,
Oh yesterday came suddenly …’
And that’s that.”
Make your own Stock Broker Decision Maker
1. Print out pictures of Greenspan.
2. Cut out 2″ circle of each picture.
3. Paste 1 picture on each side of 2″ diameter cardboard disk.
4. flip disk
5. If you see happy face buy buy buy
6. If you see prune face sell sell sell
7. Repeat 4-6 as long as funds last.
8. If you get here you’re broke, better vote for
…A Democrat to bail your ass out.