Do You Have A High Credit Card Balance?
If the answer is yes, don’t pay it off too fast. You could be considered a suspected terrorist or something.
The balance on their JCPenney Platinum MasterCard had gotten to an unhealthy level. So they sent in a large payment, a check for $6,522.
And an alarm went off. A red flag went up. The Soehnges’ behavior was found questionable.
And all they did was pay down their debt. They didn’t call a suspected terrorist on their cell phone. They didn’t try to sneak a machine gun through customs.
They just paid a hefty chunk of their credit card balance. And they learned how frighteningly wide the net of suspicion has been cast.
After sending in the check, they checked online to see if their account had been duly credited. They learned that the check had arrived, but the amount available for credit on their account hadn’t changed.
So Deana Soehnge called the credit-card company. Then Walter called.
“When you mess with my money, I want to know why,” he said.
They both learned the same astounding piece of information about the little things that can set the threat sensors to beeping and blinking.
They were told, as they moved up the managerial ladder at the call center, that the amount they had sent in was much larger than their normal monthly payment. And if the increase hits a certain percentage higher than that normal payment, Homeland Security has to be notified. And the money doesn’t move until the threat alert is lifted.
Apparently the Department of Homeland Security has caught all the obvious Al Qaida terrorist cells so now they have to resort to fishing trips that could snare thousands of unsuspecting Americans.
It is stories like this that make me doubt the sanity of people on the Left when they say things like, “Well, if the government takes over health care they will cut down on the administrative costs.” A test so simple as this has got to catch lots of people which means that lots of resources get sucked up and used chasing down frivolous and nonsensical “leads”.
Eventually, his and his wife’s money was freed up. The Soehnges were apparently found not to be promoting global terrorism under the guise of paying a credit-card bill. They never did learn how a large credit card payment can pose a security threat.
Well its simple you see, by paying off the balance early the credit card company can’t charge high interest rates. This means lower profits, and that is bad for these big businesses so lets pass a law where if you do pay off your entire balance you get flagged as a possible terrorist. See, isn’t it obvious.
Update: A co-worker just made a cogent observation: Now we know why the federal government couldn’t get anybody into New Orleans and the surrounding area to help after Katrina…they were all too busy looking at credit card billing histories. I tell you, the level of stupidity is simply amazing.