Intruder Breaks Into Home, Reports Himself To 911

Here’s one from the stupid criminals file:

This time it was the intruder who called 911.

A man who broke into a house in Portland, Oregon, called police — afraid the homeowner may have a gun.

The suspect, Timothy James Chapek, was in the bathroom taking a shower when the homeowner returned to the house Monday night, Portland police said in a statement.

Accompanied by two German shepherds, the homeowner asked Chapek what he was doing in the house.

Chapek locked himself in the bathroom and made an emergency call, police said. He said he had broken into the house, the owner had come home, and that he was concerned the owner might have a gun.

The homeowner also called the police to report that he had found a man in the house.

To borrow a phrase from The West Wing’s Josiah Bartlet, some of the stupidest criminals in the world are working right here in America. I’ve always been very proud of that.


FILED UNDER: Crime, Policing, , ,
Doug Mataconis
About Doug Mataconis
Doug Mataconis held a B.A. in Political Science from Rutgers University and J.D. from George Mason University School of Law. He joined the staff of OTB in May 2010 and contributed a staggering 16,483 posts before his retirement in January 2020. He passed far too young in July 2021.


  1. Brian Lehman says:

    That’s a pure, 100% American-made idiot there. The one commodity that we will never stop producing.

  2. Andy says:

    Why would you break into someone’s home and take a shower?

  3. Carlo says:

    Not so stupid. Better to be arrested than shot.

  4. tom p says:

    Why would you break into someone’s home and take a shower?

    Because you have not had one in over a week?