Lawsuit Mania

Steve Bainbridge tries to imagine the legal climate that would have followed if Judge Roy Pearson had actually won his $54 million case against a dry cleaner who had posted a “Satisfaction Guaranteed” sign and yet not satisfied him.

  • Run into a grumpy flight attendant on United, sue because you didn’t experience the “Friendly Skies”
  • Disappointed to find only gasoline in your tank, sue Exxon for failing to provide the “tiger in your tank” they promised
  • Your insurance agent fails to hold you close, sue Allstate for not providing “good hands”
  • Think Fox News leans GOP, sue them for not being “fair and balanced”
  • Get bitter coffee dregs, sue Maxwell house for not being “good to the last drop”

I’m guessing it’s been a long time since Steve watched television commercials, but yes.

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James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is a Security Studies professor at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.

Comments

  1. Bithead says:

    A date with a Burger king waitress goes badly, and sue BK for now letting you “Have it your way”.
    (Smirk)

  2. Bithead says:

    arrgh damn typos…

    A date with a Burger king waitress goes badly, and sue BK for noT letting you “Have it your way”.

  3. G.A.Phillips says:

    man you know I think I’m allergic to Donkeypoop, any one got a number for John Edwards?

  4. Len says:

    Think Fox News leans GOP, sue them for not being “fair and balanced”

    This one actually sounds rather sensible to me. We’d likely win.

    And G.A., if you think Donkeypoop is bad, try a big steaming bucket of Elephant sh*t. (Yes, I have a number for John Edwards. No, you can’t have it.)

  5. G.A.Phillips says:

    Len,

    you might want to keep what you and Edwards do together a secret, man I worked in the porn business for 12 yeas and never heard of anything that far out, get some help dude.

  6. Mark says:

    I am suing Axe Body Spray!