Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Monday, June 18, 2012
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
Shovels not so ready.
“Come on guys, you know the words…….It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A……”
In an ideal world… “Former TSA employees find enriching employment”
“Biden speeches?! Don’t talk to me about Biden speeches! Have you ever had to clean up after one?”
Sorry, but you guys with the brooms gotta go; This is a shovel ready project.
While not nearly as popular, the Belmont Stakes have traditionally been followed by the running of the Pooper Scooper Stakes.
“DeVry University 2012 Commencement Ceremony”
“The President is playing golf again. Get ready to construct a green anywhere his tee shot lands.”
Old retired white guy begins to realize that mouthing off to a liberal, activist judge will get you community service, not an attaboy from your tea party friends.
Shovel Ready – Here workers hired under the federal stimulus program wait to sweep the road being laid by heavy equipment.
“Think I’ll go back to the private sector. I hear it’s doing fine.”
Federal judges awaiting Senate confirmation.
Violators of Mayor Bloomberg’s “Big Soda” ban were given community service and forced to clean up after each of the Mayor’s public speeches.
That’s right detective. It was the guy in the green vest.
Backstage at the Obama campaign.
I don’t know what happened. I thought they said he was a goodfella. Who brought the lime?
#4: “Hand me the keys, you f****** c*********.”
Nobody expects the Stimulus Inquisition! Our chief weapon is fear. Fear and our flashy yellow-green vests… Our two weapons are fear, our flashy yellow-green vests and a ruthless union rules driven inefficiency… Our three weapons are fear, our flashy yellow-green vests, a ruthless union rules driven inefficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to Keynesian economics… Our four… no… amongst our weapons…. amongst our weaponry… are such elements as fear, our flashy yellow-green vests… I’ll need another term.
The Snow White fairy tale retold in the age of diversity.
Meanwhile, behind the chemical shed, the Devil finds work for idle hands.
“I don’t ever recall having to clean up after Obama’s 2008 unfulfilled campaign promises in the job description when I accepted this so-called ‘Shovel-Ready’ position, do you?”
You load 16 pounds and what do you get, another day older and lime green vest. Saint Peter don’t take me because I can’t go, I owe my soul to some union a-hole.
Oh hey, its the Uncommon Infected from Left 4 Dead 2…
Well, the shovels are ready, but the jobs aren’t.
“You’re not Mr. Purple. Some guy on some other job is Mr. Purple. You’re Mr. PINK.”
Yeah, they’re on the clock; but they’re still just standing around doing nothing but waiting for their shovel-ready job assignments.
Even John Bolton has found gainful employment under the Obama Administrations
“Wait a minute. You mean that this isn’t the Village People reunion tour?”
“AIIEEEEEEE!. MY EYES!!!”
“Hey! You guys shop at the same place that I do!”
Guy Wearing Hat: “Yup, they use to call me ‘Crocodile Dundee’. And folks would come from miles around just to see my movies. And I had the loveliest looking wife too. Boy the way she filled out that black one-piece French-cut bathing suit. I’m telling yah, mate. It would make all the hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention. Yup, I remember the day I first saw her in it too. We were Outback, you see. And she bent over to get a drink of water from a stream, you see. When suddenly she was attacked by a giant anaconda! No, no. That’s not it. Oh, yeah. I remember now. It was a huge python! Wait. That’s wasn’t it either. I got it now. It was a boa constrictor! The biggest one you ever did see too, mate. That’s when leaped into action, jumping out of the bush with knife in hand and –”
Guy Wearing Red Bandanna: “I hear you, brother. They use to call me ‘Hulk Hogan’. And people could come from miles around to see me too…”
Police line up for James to pick out the LSS-GOV guy.
Presenting the nominees for PennDOT’s Shovel-Leaner, er, Employee of the Year!
Guy with the hat: “You call this work? Phuh. When I was young we had to make our own shovels to stand around on, none of this Home Depot crap you just buy off the shelf. And when you started standing around you started at the bottom – – sitting around! – – and worked your way up! But now everyone starts out at the top, standing around like they even know what they’re doing. You kids . . . you don’t know how easy you have it . . . “
“We’re all ‘Shovel-Ready’. But where are the jobs?”
“I recall a time in this country when we use to say — No, even sing –: ‘♪You Can Take This Job and Shove It♪’ Now it’s: ‘♪You Can Take My Job and Shovel It♪’ Where have all the Punk Rockers, Rappers and Country Singers gone?”
IMF cleaners stand down to remove the ‘Greece’ stain from the Eurozone.
Guy Wearing Hat: “Yup, they use to call me ‘Crocodile Dundee’. And folks would come from miles around just to see my movies. And I had the loveliest looking wife too. Boy the way she filled out that black one-piece French-cut bathing suit. I’m telling yah, mate. It would make all the hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention. Yup, I remember the day I first saw her in it too. We were Outback, you see. And she bent over to get a drink of water from a stream, you see. When suddenly she was attacked by a giant anaconda! No, no. That’s not it. Oh, yeah. I remember now. It was a huge python! Wait. That’s wasn’t it either. I got it now. It was a boa constrictor! The biggest one you ever did see too, mate. That’s when [I] leaped into action, jumping out of the bush with knife in hand and –”
Meet the ‘Austerity Poster Boys’ — Formerly known as the ‘Shovel-Ready Prosperity Poster Boys’.
“Get your rest, gentlemen. The boat will be ready for you on Friday. If I see you or any of your friends before then, Miss Finneran will find herself the victim of a most gruesome violation before she dies. As will your father, Mr. Hockney. And your Uncle Randall in Arizona, Mr. Kint. I might only castrate Mr. McManus’s nephew, David. Do I make myself clear?”
Class of 2012, with honors.
Back stage at the Mitt Romney Rally
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