Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Winners will be announced after Tuesday PM.
The job market is so lousy that I really need to start interviewing for a new job after my term is up.
Pirate: “……so…..the International Brotherhood of Ship Looters (IBSL local 413) on good faith will refrain from pilfering cargo vessels and in return……..we get all the land West of the Mississippi and a four year exemption from ObamaCare for our Cadillac healthcare plan. DEAL!”
Obama: “Do you really need to open carry in a Starbucks?”
Pirate: (shrugs) “Pirate…”
Putin isn’t so tough. Even a man in a pirate costume dominated Obama.
Quick, which one looks more Presidential?
Pirate: “Sponge Bob has a list of demands……..”
Pirate: “…seriously…it’s tough out there and things don’t seem to be getting any better. Can you pivot just one more time to the economy????”
Pirate: “Come on, it’s Halloween, what are you dressed as, President?”
“Dude! I didn’t realize Somali pirates dressed so much better than Indonesian pirates!”
Obama: Seriously…there’s this guy…JKB…he’s even sillier than you are.
The RIAA finds a new, creative way to make their case directly to the president.
Ted Cruz discusses raising the debt ceiling with President Obama.
Peace talks between neighbors Somalia and Kenya.
As the end of his second term approached, President Obama, like previous incumbents, sought an achievement that could be his legacy. With Middle East diplomacy a difficult, if not impossible, endeavor, President turned his thoughts to a more attainable goal: resolving a longstanding feud between pirates Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet. Here, the president meets Daniel Bollegren, whom the president appointed his special envoy to the pirate captains. Mr. Bollegren conducted extensive research into piracy so that he would be better able to relate to Captains Teach and Bonnet in initial discussions. Unfortunately, due to sequestration, Mr. Bollegren’s research budget included only enough money to rent the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
What do you mean you won’t be my Defense Secretary?!
Which party is he from? He’s an ARRRRRRRR, of course.
Obama: “No, seriously, The U.S. doesn’t recognize ‘International Talk Like a Pirate Day,’ by talking like pirates at the White House.
Pirate: “What about that elderly balding white-haired guy outside the hatch. He was blowin’ me down with some drunkin’ pirate trask talk, me hearty.”
Obama: “That’s just Joe Biden, he always talks like that.”
Unable to get congressional backing for an attack on Syria, Obama was forced to resolve the measure by signing Letters of the Marque for the first time since 1815.
“So it’s this Assad that ye’re wantin’ to take a long walk on a short pier, is what ye be sayin’ ….”
Obama: ” So then Secretary of State Kerry made a terrible political gaff …”
Capt Hook: ” Trust me, Mr. President, I really know how to handle a gaff.”
@Stormy Dragon: I love your caption +a zillion for the historical and constitutional reference.
“Let me get this straight…you’re here from Bethesda to do my Prostate exam?!?!?!?”
“That be all well and good, Mister President, but unless ye be giving me a waiver, I be having to cut Polly’s share of the booty to only 20 hours per week.”
President Obama dashed all hopes for diplomacy when he informed Captain Naif that his parrot wasn’t real.
@JWH: That’s funny. It blends in so well with his hat and coat I hadn’t even noticed the parrot.
“Those ‘Lost Boys’ are nothing but terrorists!! I request that the Unites States send drones!”
Donning a cunning disguise, Dominique Strauss-Kan sneaked back into the United States, only to be arrested for “aggravated pirating.”
Shark attack? No. I once reached for a cupcake the same time as Chris Christie did.
House Republicans wanted an arm and a leg to raise the debt limit. Fortunately, the White House negotiated them down to a hand.
Trying to reason with Eric Cantor is difficult.
“Believe me, Mr. Hook, I already know what Neverland is like – it’s called Congress.”
Obama: “Does Polly like crackers?”
Conservative Pirate: “You be the most racially divisive president evarrrrrrr!!!”
Hand reattachment surgery under Obamacare is limited to one “digit” only.
obama: “I just want to apologize to you for the Barbary Wars.”
…and so then I told Hank Paulson that we would need the government to bail us out, and while this was happening, we were telling homeowners that…”
“Of course I’m a real pirate, Mr. President. Would I Kidd about a thing like that?”
“Why yes, Mr. President, I’d be happy to Teach you the ins and outs of piracy.”
@JWH: Just for you. 😀
President Obama looks for somebody to attend state dinners in his Stede.
Pete Townshend visits the president to assure him the Kidds are Alright. Or all left, by this picture.
“I gotta tell ya, Mr. President, the ladies LOVE this Blackbeard of mine.”
“See, now, ‘first mate’ has always confused me, because it’s like a vice-president, but it sounds like a first lady.”
“Arrrr. If the voyage is long enough, that’s a distinction without a difference, sir.”
I’ve gained the whip hand, Mr. President… my invisible bomb beats your invisible grapnel!
Parrot: “where da cracka?”
Seeing no future in his own party, Speaker Boehner (in disguise) makes his case to the President to be named Secretary of the Navy.
“Unlike you, Mr. President, I have no term limits. That’s why ..
‘Tis a wonderful thing
‘Tis a glorious thing
To be a Pirate King!”
During the Clinton years, a “pirate’s booty call” meant something else entirely.
“So, no one takes you seriously either?”
Well, Mr. President, I reached out and touched a pirate like that. Once.
You will always remember today as the day Jack Lew almost balanced the budget.
Aye Mr. President, personalized ethnic Internet marketing is frought with problems, we call it the curse of the black PURL.
No, really, I’m not Johnny Depp. I get that all the time.
As a seaman, I’m not impressed.
“Do you know I got bin Laden?”
The buccaneer stops here.
“Well, if you have more than fifty full time crew members, on October 1 you are required to provide them each with a DHS approved health care option or face a substantial fine.”
“Pardon, I thought I were in the United States, not the Dominican.”
“No, I’m the President.”
“…really? That be a stretch. I need to be seein’ yer birth certificate.”
A three hour tour…
The pirate and the privateer.
President: “I like the cut of your jab.”
Iron Pyrite: “It’s jib, sir.”
President: “I like the jib of your jab.”
Pirate: “We on the Board of the Council of Honourable Free Libetarian Captains are conflicted you see, Your Excellency, about this vexed question of insurance. On one hand we don’t much like mandatory fees and coverage you see, being for free contract. On the other hand, so many us do lack the other hand – pre existing condition we’re told, and it makes our normal rates for coverage right intolerable. Perhaps you can look at how we Poole our treasure…”
President: “And you can work the other side?”
“You know with my Obama Care becoming active in a few months. Soon you can have your leg removed and fitted with a wooden peg.”
“I should’ve known better than to rub my eye. But you see I wasn’t use to the hook yet.”
“You can do so much pillaging, plundering and raping. After awhile, it gets old. So I decided to switch careers. Now I’m a hedge fund trader down on Wall Street.”
“Aye…Ay, ay, ay, ay my eye hurts.”
♫We’ll be the Pirate Twins again, Europa…Ta republique♫
President Obama pleads both with Wall Street’s chief hedge fund trader and its foreign sovereign investment fund representative to stop the plundering, pillaging and raping of America’s assets – just kidding.
“Aye, I speak for all the hedge fund traders. You’ll get your shanghaied Captains of Industry back, just as soon as we get our ransom: The Forfeiture of The American Citizen’s Right to Vote”
Well sir, someone saw your Captain Morgan impression last week and decided that they better send me in.
Well sir, someone saw your Captain Morgan impression in last week’s caption contest and decided that they better send me in. Oh, and thing you asked me for, you know the thing with Biden, it’s being taken care of in the next caption contest.
That’s strange, President Obama usually relies upon major media figures to parrot his talking points.
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