Time the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Monday, March 2, 2015
Winners for this contest will be announced next weekend.
“Yes…………Mr Spock………I am aware……………who James Traficant………..was”
“I told you Jim. Cornering the market on Donald Trump hairpieces was not a logical investment.”
Spock: “So, this is how I end up being remembered for all eternity… could be worse.”
One of these is the top of Rand Paul’s head. Keep looking.
It’s odd captain, but the only entry in the computer network I found was a crossreference on the food network “see haggis”. Most perplexing.
Do these tribbles make me look fat?
Kirk: Damn! I’d like to roll around with Uhuru in a pile of these.
Spock: My tricorder calculations indicate that with this weight and at the current rate of reproduction Scotty’s gonna call bitching about his engines “not holding up” in 6 hours.
You see, in a free market system, with no regulations, supply and demand will automatically balance over time. Unless you are dealing with the real world. or Tribbles.
Will Schallert: Hey, Whit, where the fuck did we go wrong? We’ve got movie and TV credits out the wazoo and here we are playing with sex toys on a set with an egomaniac space cowboy and a sociopath who needs plastic surgery and a new haircut.
Mine… Mine… MINE!!!! ALL MINE!!!
Kirk: “I see…. two problems…. here…. They’re all covered by ObamaCare…. and they all vote Democratic…
Spock: “That is not logical.”
Kirk: “Star Fleet says our response must be through civil action. Know any good interstellar legal offices?”
Spock: “How about Crane, Poole, and Schmidt?”
We have got to do something about that cat and his hairballs.
The Intergalactic Agri Bill had too many turnip subsidies, resulting in a surplus crop.
The least favorite STAR TREK aliens? The Kardashians…
Make no Bones about it…
“Live long and prosper”? You just knew that Mr. Spock being Jewish, there would be something involving money in his greeting…
“The first thing we have to do is seal the borders, then we’ll figure out what to do with them.”
Both Shatner and Nimoy were both Jews. Are you sure this wasn’t a seven year mission to find lost coins?
Since Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock were both Jews, if they entered a strip club on another planet, they would put pennies on the stage…with strings attached…
Captain, the story you told me about what people do with these tribbles is not logical.
“Wow, that’s some hairy balls!”
“Hey, who let Patty Duke’s dad beam up?”
“Strangely, Captain most of these balls are hairy. But, this one is shaved bald and pierced…. Is this their leader?”
The show almost got named PATTY DUKE’S DAD IN SPACE….But, there was that other show, LOUSED UP WITH SMITH on CBS….
Checking out the balls in the Enterprise locker room for signs of deflation before the big game…
The secret to the success of STAR TREK was that a hammy Shakespearian actor that played Dr. Smith and the robot didn’t hijack this show…
Given the fact that Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock were both Jews, I was deeply surprised the Enterprise wasn’t shaped more like the Star Of David…
Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock. Jews in space….But, then Mel Brooks did the remake as SPACEBALLS…
TRIBBLE TERROR AT 20,000 FEET…
If Rod Sterling directed this episode, then William Shatner would be trying to convince everyone that a Scotsman(Scotty) is on the wing of the ship. Then it lands, and while they’re hauling away the captain to the looney bin, a kilt is seen hanging from the ripped open engine on the side…
“Well, this episode sure took balls…”
While most people liked this episode, others thought it was sort of Tribble…
“While true Trekie nerds enjoy the original series….The horny guys had to wait many years for that hot Seven Of Nine to come along…”
Some guys wonder how old guys like Shatner and Nimoy were still about to enjoy sex at their age. Well, they set those phasers to stun and aimed them at their crotch…
“It’s just not logical that they’re all genetically identical to Sandra Fluke.”
Did you hear about that day when Scotty was having some mechanical trouble with the transporter and a supermodel was beaming up….Well, anyway, Linda Hunt was the result…
Leonard Nimoy. He was also THE GREAT PARIS on MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. Now he’s gone….The last time we’ve seen PARIS….
If Rod Sterling directed William Shatner in STAR TREK, there would be fortune telling machine with a devil head on the bridge…
Leonard Nimoy may be gone. But. no need to worry, Sam Donaldson is ready to step into the Mr. Spock role….And, he doesn’t need any makeup…
“Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Spock …”
“Hey what’s the lawyer from BOSTON LEGAL doing on the Enterprise? Is he suing someone…”
The biggest differences between STAR TREK and LOST IN SPACE. No actor that played Zorro. No actress that played the mom on Lassie and the woman doctor on PETTICOAT JUNCTION. No hammy Shakespearian actor playing the first gay man in space exchanging insult humor with the robot, doing Abbott and Costello in space….
Unfortunately, Spock is no better than Shaq at free throws….And, to make matters much worse, with Tribble basketball rules, the balls only continue to multiply during the game…
Paul Hooson: “Strangely, I’m hairy enough that I was asked to stand in as Tribble…”
THE HAIR CLUB FOR SPACEMEN?
“Hey, what’s Sam Donaldson doing on STAR TREK?”
They say that cat hoarding is an illness….
“Amazon’s new Time Travel delivery has a glitch – these hairpieces were meant for Captain Picard, and he only ordered one!”
“Captain, these appear to be the alien life form Paulus Hoosonus, about which we know very little other than that it replicates rapidly and crowds out other life forms.”
“Jim, one twelfth of these tribbles are dead, and the rest are underinflated.”
(muffled voice coming from the pile) “Mr. Shatner, you are the next Celebrity Apprentice.”
Eventually even Bjork agreed that this was the best Oscar dress ever….
@rodney dill: Bjork? Isn’t that Islandic for Yoko Oh No!
@rodney dill: Bjork? Isn’t that Islandic for “nails on a chalkboard” or “screeching tires running over a screeching cat watching Screech from SAVED BY THE BELL”?
The Trouble with Tributes
Knowing Kirk, you can bet there’s a girl under there.
But the Republicans had to eliminate the quality control regulations for Quadrotriticale, it was tyranny!
Yeah, it’s humiliating, but it’s just a silly sci-fi TV show. It’s not like 47 years from now everyone in the world will be connected with computers and looking at pictures of this.
Spock: “All these earmuffs, and none of them are the right fit!”
MR SPOCK…….alll Tribbles…….must be stored……..on the Enterprise server……..per Federation rules.
“Nobody knows…..the Tribbles i’ve seen…..”
“True, Captain, they do make more sense than Congress.”
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