Monday, August 3, 2015
Time the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners for this contest will be announced next weekend.
“…..I want………a shrubbery”
For some reason or other, people just weren’t as impressed with Lindsey Graham’s “Don Quixote” as they were with Donald Trump’s “Sir Lancelot”.
Why is it nobody ever wants to play Richard the III?
So they were digging up a car park last week and guess what they found?
The only thing missing from this 14th century reenactment is the black plague. No wait a minute, the Donald just showed up.
“One more joke about my coat of arms & I’ll run ya through, mate!”
Has to be done.
“Of course we are French! Why else do you think I have this outrageous accent?!”
Uber drivers prepare for the next attack.
“Oh, we thought you said bring our lances to the Tour de France.”
The lily planters is a stupid nickname. Need to spruce it up, the Plantagenets maybe?
Upon hearing of the Battle of Agincourt re-enactment, Obama immediately denounced it for a lack of diversity, failure to pay a living wage & inadequate health insurance coverage.
Agincourt? I barely knew her!
“Y’know, now I know how Stonewall felt at Richmond.”
“Ah, I mean how Nelson felt at Trafalgar! Yes, that’s what I meant…”
So the GOP debate line up is finalized with the Donald as King Arthur, JEB! as Guenevere, Cruz will be Sir Lancelot the Brave, Scott Walker is Sir Bedevere the Wise, Lindsey is Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot, Huckabee as Sir Galahad the Pure, Rand “tis only a flesh wound” Paul as the Black Knight and of course Bobby Jindal as Sir Not-appearing-in-this-debate.
Sorry Gentlemen… but the Fleur-de-Robert E. Lee is a banned icon.
The average soldier has a request for Congress: “Please do something about these sequester budget cuts. This new armor you sent us isn’t going to stop a Taliban bullet anymore than the fully funded F-35.”
“…pardon me sir…..we are here for the War On Coal and I think we took a wrong turn at Albuquerque”
“Let me join you…I hear that there’s fair maidens back at the castle that are just begging to be spanked!”
Ceci n’est pas un chevalier.
“Funny, you don’t look like a shrubbery expert?”
One of them owns a pet chump….Sir Lancelot Link…
“Well, better to see that Monty Python film for the 43rd time than to attend that James Holmes and John Houser double feature at the other theater…”
A Monty Python motion picture re-enactment…
One of them writes chain mail letters….
Richard The Chicken Hearted?
@Paul Hooson: Ouch!
We’re all stuck here until someone finds a pair of coconuts to bang together.
Don’t they know that the flag of Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester is a symbol of hate?
Idiot! I told you to pee before we left the castle!
“Any volunteers for service at Castle Anthrax?”
“Any volunteers to give an oral history on Castle Anthrax?”
“Castle Anthrax, who knew that Monica Lewinsky once worked there?”
the 600th annual Take Back The Knight rally
I am a nightmare walking, psychopath talking
King of the ‘Court just a gangster stalking
Red or Blue, Cuz or Blood, it just don’t matter
Sucker die for your life when my crossbow scatters
We gangs of Calais will never die –
@Pinky: Black Knight lives matter
And now they’ve renamed French fries ‘chips’!
This means war!
Knight: “We are here for the archery debauchery contest.
The University of Maryland team has just arrived at the SCA Olympics.
“They want us to take our flag down !”
It became increasingly difficult to find young and fit recruits for the Hundred Years’ War.
“By the Rood, let us summon some fair young wenches and goeth a-knightclubbing!”
“Rapine and pillage, pillage and rapine…been there, done that.”
Any of you guys want to play cards?
“They’re wearing plain Blue! I told you we should have worn Grey!!!!”
The Republican presidential debates get tougher every cycle.
In the Pentagon’s latest RFP, somebody wrote that the new weapon system had to let the US military “get medieval” on enemies. Pictured above, the new Future Hand to Hand Warrior System (FH2WS) is currently in being produced by Lockheed Martin Avionics Systems under an LRIP contract. The price is $25 million per system.
Knight: “I just hate it when they laugh at the flowers on my skirt.”
Knight: “Does this armor make me look fat?”
Knight on the left: “I’m sorry, Sire, they insist…no necktie, no service.”
Keeping in mind the great success of the show Duck Dynasty with lower and middle-income viewers, A&E sought to attract a more upscale demographic with Plantagenet Dynasty.
“Lo and behold, lethargic masses of archaic impotence”…..Insult comedy isn’t what it used to be. Shakespeare was’t hardly the medieval equivalent of Don Rickles….
The generic version of every Monty Python joke ever told in a knight suit…
“You split a participle!”
(This continues until the credits roll…”
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