Monday, October 17, 2016
Time For The Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners for this contest will be announced next weekend.
“I hope Huma remembered to bring the extra large jug of hand sanitizer.”
Hillary: “Note to self: Wipe my hands, not the server. . . wipe my hands, not the server . . . .”
Fire meets Ice.
Trump, settling for a handshake, couldn’t figure out how to get close enough to grab her the way he normally does other women.
Worlds are colliding: ‘bimbos who deserve to be believed’ vs. ‘bimbos who don’t deserve to be believed.’
“Ok, deal. I throw the election and your government buys up the remaining stock of Trump vodka at retail”
Hillary demonstrates the secret Trilateral Commission handshake to convince Trump that there really is a conspiracy to get her elected.
“Man, it’s been so long since I had that sexual assault defense training. Do I pull him down or flip him over? I already kicked him in the crotch metaphorically.”
“I’ve always wanted to meet Darth Vader’s son.”
“I’ve always wanted to meet C-3PO’s mother.”
“Done deal, Hillary? You get Pence and Ryan, and I get Kaine and a player to be named later.”
“You want Podesta?”
“Even I have standards….”
“I don’t think he can reach my pussy from there”.
In a moment of stunned realization, Trump and Hillary discover that they are both Freemasons.
DT: “Juanita says ‘hi.'”
HC: “Melania says ‘bye.'”
“Really, Donald? A cigar cutter?”
“This will have to do instead of my p***y thank you very much.”
Is Parkinson’s catching?
“Ooh, sweet bib!”
Pot meet kettle.
That handshake has all the warmth of a Galaxy Note 7.
I tried Hillary really I did. The people just don`t really like you.
I bet Hillary feels slighted that he’s just shaking her hand. Am I not a woman, she wonders?
Proof that anybody can grow up and become President.
And I don’t mean that in a good way. I mean ANYBODY!
This is the only above-the-belt contact they will have all debate.
“How can I pull your finger, Donald? They’re all waaay too short.”
“Would you like some fries with that shake?”
Since it it likely that both of their hands have been in contact with female genitalia in the last 24 hours, who is groping whom by proxy?
Hillary thinking: “Hmm. He has big hands and big feet. I think I’ll try to get him to go hard on me tonight.”
Trump thought bubble: “I know what you’re thinking Hillary. That just ain’t gonna happen”
Stink Palming : May I interest you in a chocolate covered pretzel!?
Let’s all hope he washed that hand before shaking. No telling where it’s been…
So, Trump’s has a tuna fish sandwich before the debate. They have kind of a fishy smell. Trump walks past a blind man on the way to the debate, but doesn’t say anything. But, the the blind man decides to act friendly, “Hello girls!”.
So, Trump shakes hands with Hillary and then rushes down to see his current foreign wife, Melania. “How did I do, honey?”. She responds, “There was a lot of boys talk. The boys like to put their pee pee in the girls…”. An upbeat Trump proclaims. “Thank you honey, I knew I laid out my vision for the country!”.
So, Donald Trump shakes hands with Hillary, then exits the stage to see his family. On the way down to the audience, Chris Wallace introduces himself as the moderator of the next debate. And has a short exchange with Trump.
Friends ask Chris Wallace how did it go?
“He spit on me and called me a Jew. All in all pretty positive by Donald Trump standards. I think being from FOX helped too…”.
Uh, S.S. Adams Company joy buzzer?
In all fairness, Trump doesn’t hate all foreigners. He thinks Danish-immigrant joy buzzer inventor Soren Adams is a high tech genius!
How could this debate best be summed up? 101 Damnations…
Trump: What a deal, Hillary! Congratulations. I hope you’ll appreciate the $1 billion I spent to run this campaign.
Surprising, but the first person to interview Trump after he exits the stage? …Billy Bush..
A bird in the hand is worth 2 in a bush???
“You slimed me.”
“No. You slimed me.”
I can see her other hand…not sure where his other hand is…
At the end of this he last debate Trump bursts into song.
“Walk on, talk on,
baby tell no lies.
Don’t you be caught
with a tear in your eye.
they’ll be sellin’ stuff
When the moon begins to rise.
Pretty bad when
you’re dealin’ with the man,
And the light shines in your eyes.
Come on, baby, let’s go downtown,
Let’s go, let’s go,
let’s go downtown.
Come on, baby, let’s go downtown,
Let’s go, let’s go,
let’s go downtown.”
In all fairness to the Clintons, they did bring shoes to Arkansas while upholding traditional Arkansas values like cousin marryin’…
“It takes two hands to handle a whopper.”
In The News…In lieu of another debate, Trump and Clinton decide to square off with a square dance instead…
T: So Hillary, what was Comeys price?
H: Supreme Court nomination, Donald.
T: Congrats. Thats a pretty good deal for you.
H: Given what we threatened him with, a great deal for him, Donald. Huge.
Even though they’d had a brief, but intensely physical relationship back in the 60’s, Hillary had to put that all behind her. It was going to be a no holds barred contest and there was no time to indulge in remembered passion…
Hey Hillary I heard they are voting for those other guys now I think we took this joke a bit too far.
Viewing this picture reminds me of lyrics from the Jefferson Airplane song, “White Rabbit”–
“And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen’s off her head…”
Bill has much larger hands….
So Donald Trump tells his doctor, “I think about women all the time. I think about women at night and I think about women during the day. I can’t help myself..”
His doctor then tells him,”But, you need to stop masturbating…”.
Trump then asks, “Why?”.
“So, I can examine you..”.
Normally, during an election, many of the voters like one of the candidates. Well, not this year…
Trump always seems to say the wrong things in the debates. He called Hillary a “nasty woman” and Hispanics, “hombres”. But, he did try to atone at the end of debate by shaking hands with Chris Wallace and telling him, “You know, for a Jew you’re ok!”.
The last debate did help voters make up their minds….to vote for Chris Wallace..
Those scandal allegations really rattled Trump. He loaned his campaign so much money that if donations dry up he might not get every penny of his loan back…
Trump has no luck in business. His casino goes broke. His airlines goes broke. His university goes broke. Now, he might lose the money he loaned his campaign…
The only presidential debates that make the audience feel dirty and want to take a shower afterwards…
Trump feels confident that he really nailed that question on Aleppo, unlike Gary Johnson. “My dog just loves that brand of food!”.
Trump’s right hand has been a bloody, painful mess since that handshake.
You touch evil, you always pay a price.
“…My Honey, My Baby, don’t put my vote upon no shelf…
She said “Don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself…”
Trump: (mumbled): “Tickle your ass with a feather.”
Hillary: “WHAT! …. did you say.”
Trump: “I said, Typical nasty weather.”
Jail is no place for a Clinton. No advancement…
“A nasty woman”?. Apparently Donald Trump hasn’t seen any videos that some women actually posted on XHamster of their private camcorder performances. Those are the nasty women…
The most surprising moment during last night’s debate. When Chris Wallace laid out the debate rules, including Rule #7, “You In My House Now Bitches”…
Trump sadly didn’t get the opportunity to promote his Kennedy-inspired space proposal to land a man on the Sun before the end of the decade. “But, they’ll have to land there at night”, adds Trump…
If only this debate could have gone on a little longer, then Trump could have offended more people…
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