OTB Caption Contest

Time For The Monday OTB Caption ContestTM

Time For The Monday OTB Caption ContestTM


goodlaugh

Evan Vucci / AP

Winners for this contest will be announced next weekend.

FILED UNDER: Contests
Rodney Dill
About Rodney Dill
Rodney is an IT Implementation Consultant in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He contributed to OTB from November 2004 until retiring in July 2017, hosting some 1200 OTB Caption Contests.

Comments

  1. Franklin says:

    Bloomberg: Damnit I should have run.

  2. RockThisTown says:

    “Cardinal, Donald can’t appreciate this the way we can, but remember all those sex scandals we covered up when Bill was President? How many were there, 100, 200 . . . 500?”

  3. RockThisTown says:

    ” . . . . and that’s when the Pope said, ‘No, that’s not thy staff!’ “

  4. fustian says:

    Hillary tells the old joke about how to get a nun pregnant.

    Dress her as an altar boy!

  5. Mu says:

    “And the people really think THEY get to elect the next president?”

  6. fustian says:

    The Cardinal finds it especially amusing that one of these two is going to be President.

  7. OzarkHillbilly says:

    I forget, which one is Satan?

  8. OzarkHillbilly says:

    Mayor Bloomberg was not amused by all the Jew jokes being told at the table behind him.

  9. OzarkHillbilly says:

    So a Catholic, a Methodist, and an apostate walk into a bar…

  10. Andrew says:

    After the Cardinal lit his fart on fire with a lighter. Donald and Hilary both realized they could actually find common ground in their love of fart jokes.

  11. Tony W says:

    Donald Trump and the Cardinal regale a very polite Hillary Clinton with stories of their escapades with altar boys and super models.

  12. Franklin says:

    Donald: “Hey Hill, I think our Cardinal friend has had enough blood of Christ for one evening!”

  13. David in KC says:

    Trump: “And Bill said run, and I said who would be stupid enough to vote for me.”

  14. rodney dill says:

    Hillary: …and then I says to Barack, “Back of the bus.”

  15. al-Alameda says:

    “Do priests use Viagra or birth control?
    What the hell kind of questions is THAT?””

  16. Hal_10000 says:

    “And then … get this Cardinal … I then said that we had ‘bad hombres’ coming up from Mexico! Bad hombres! I actually said that!”

    “I have to hand it to you, Donald. You are tanking this election beautifully.”

  17. Michael says:

    And then the Rabbi says to the Priest, “Beats the hell out of ham, doesn’t it?”

  18. DrDaveT says:

    “So then the duck says, he says ‘Eucharist!? But I’m a vegetarian!’…”

  19. DrDaveT says:

    “Man, that’s good wine. And now it’s karaoke time! ♫ Feeeeeliiiings, wo wo wo ♫…”

  20. barbintheboonies says:

    Let me get this straight THE BOTH OF YOU ARE CHRISTIAN. Stop it your killing me.

  21. Paul Hooson says:

    Moments later some of Trump’s jokes really bombed at this dinner party. Then Republican Party officials thought, “Damn, that’s the second party he ruined this year!”.

  22. Paul Hooson says:

    It’s a New York event, but with no Jewish comedy writers, so what do you expect?

  23. Paul Hooson says:

    For now on, please leave the comedy writing up to the professionals….Jews…

  24. Paul Hooson says:

    Even Paul Hooson’s jokes would be funny at this party…

  25. Paul Hooson says:

    When these two claim to be Christians, it only makes Paul Hooson more pleased to be a Jew…

  26. Aelio says:

    What a little bit of placebo wine can do to people.

  27. Aelio says:

    You may now kiss the bride.

  28. CSK says:

    “We call ourselves ‘The Aristocrats.'”

  29. barbintheboonies says:

    Who are those guys below us
    Oh they`re just the boobs who paid for this shin dig oops didn`t mean for them to hear that.

  30. pylon says:

    “So the nun says ‘A prostitute? Thank God, I thought you said a Protestant.””

  31. Guarneri says:

    H: “I use my thumb.”

    T: “I use two fingers.”

    C: “You guys crack me up, you and your women.”

  32. Mary Gehman says:

    These three can even screw up a “Tarts and Vicars” party!

  33. Paul Hooson says:

    One is a Cardinal, while the other two are only cardinal sins…

  34. Paul Hooson says:

    What do you call it when both the Donald and Melania show up in the same room?

    Insane, Clown, Pussy…

  35. Paul Hooson says:

    Much better than these two was a Jewish carpenter/magician who turned ordinary tap water into wine, pulled endless loaves and fishes out of a basket and even healed some sick people in the crowd. He was so good he deserves a gig in Vegas!

  36. Paul Hooson says:

    So the Donald excuses himself from the table to give some woman in the back an “October Surprise”, if you know what I mean?

  37. Paul Hooson says:

    The Donald was very disappointed at the limited seating, so all his Russian friends had to wait outside..

  38. Paul Hooson says:

    The “Bad Hombre” and the “Nasty Woman” really know how to work a room it seems…

  39. rodney dill says:

    @barbintheboonies: My take along the same vein….
    “I can’t stop laughing…. you’re both damned.”

  40. Mary Gehman says:

    “The three of us can’t even get the lyrics to ‘Kumbaya’ right!”

  41. Mary Gehman says:

    “I didn’t know that attending a Bill Clinton Roast could be so much fun!”

  42. Mary Gehman says:

    “…we forgot to say ‘Grace’ before we ate…!!!”

  43. Mary Gehman says:

    “…I am not able to hear both of your confessions simultaneously…”

  44. john430 says:

    The Cardinal: “And the two of you are the best that the country has to offer? Bwahhahahaha!

  45. Mary Gehman says:

    Once the priest changed the water into wine, the tone of the evening became jovial.

  46. Paul Hooson says:

    “Father, why have you forsaken me?”.

    Cardinal, “Do you have about a year for me to list all the reasons?”.

  47. Paul Hooson says:

    Trump: “Oh shit, I’m missing a great Moesha rerun on BET for this…”.

  48. Mary Gehman says:

    “…So, what is the going price of a soul these days?”

  49. Franklin says:

    Cardinal, loosening his cassock: “You two arguing over who’s the puppet? I’ve got your puppet RIGHT HERE!”

  50. Donald M Sensing says:

    And then I said, “Do you mean like with a cloth?”

  51. Paul Hooson says:

    Guests complained about this Catholic dinner. A little bit of wine and a small piece of bread isn’t dinner…

  52. CSK says:

    “And then at communion, Trump here asked for some cheese with his cracker.”

  53. Paul Hooson says:

    Trump just got word that Pence’s plane just skidded off the runway. Thankfully everyone was safe. But, that won’t stop Trump from blaming Hillary…

  54. Paul Hooson says:

    Pence knew that something was wrong with his plane and he tried to warn others that Hillary was on the wing of the plane, but no one believed him. Apparently, most on the plane were too young to remember that TWILIGHT ZONE episode with a monster on the wing of the plane…