He Pingping: "..and I get a pinched nerve in my neck on THIS day!?!?."

He Pingping thought bubble :"...damn, I'm out of touch with the Russian women by 1.88ft."

He Pingping thought bubble: "this would be so much easier if Nancy Pelosi had the gams...ewe, no drilling thoughts.."

He Pingping: "If the girls at the infant dump could see me now!"

He Pingping: "Hey Kobe, tell me how my a$$ taste"

CNN has hired two new international commentators in a blatant attempt to compete with Fox's "The Long and the Short of It" duo Pinkerton and Ratner.

Once confidently ahead in the polls, Obama begins lashing out. And attempts to move out from under Governor Palin's shadow.

I shoulda known that Mongolian BBQ was gonna play hell with my bowels.

* Ford today announced the establishment of the 'Driving position research' team.

* It's apparent that Sally Smurf got into the growth hormones.

* Geez, don't let this girl around airports, OK? Prolly get a 747 in the teeth

* Jack finally found his calling... a job suited to his unique talents.... in proctology

As the Presidential motorcade passes by:
Svetlana: "Do you see Bush"
Pingping: "Uh, sure do."

Pingping: "Heh, and I thought a sky box was some expensive seating at a sporting venue..."

Yes .... for only $28,500 you too can nibble on Arugula, and hear Babs sing out of her .....

I guess that's the long and the short of it.

Long on promises, short on results.

Wow, women go back to work so soon after giving birth, these days.

I thought Obama was fathered by a black man. There's something wrong here.

Updating the 70's "...and they keep on truckin."

I hired her to oversee Russia.

Sarah Palin pops out another kid.

... and our main event, Svetlana and her Pingping ball trick!

Pingping: "..whoa...looks like Svetlana is for no new taxes"
(read my lips)

He Pingping: "Beam me up, someone...please"

She likes it when he gets mad and starts jumping up and down.

Promoters easily adjusted to the new rules once dwarf tossing was outlawed.

Triumph poses with Sarah Palin. No, not really, but it is a fitting metaphor for their respective accomplishments.

Buddhism has come a long way since the days when monks sought enlightenment under fig trees.

Move over, kid. I want to sit down.

Talk about a happy meal under the golden arches.

I like the part where Pingping spins the furry guitar.

Absentmindedly, he jumped up suddenly, and it took EMS personnel 30 minutes to break the vacuum.

Contemplating converting to Christianity, He Pingping surveys his "born again" options.

"OK He Pingping, cut out the Jaws music imitation."

I met her in a club down in old Soho, where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola...

Contemplating converting to Christianity, He Pingping surveys his "born again" options.

Probably more of a journey than an actual destination.

I met her in a club down in old Soho,

Damned earworm

The Forbidden Settee

Naturally preoccupied with footwear, He was compelled to wonder why in God's name Svetlana wears heels.

Glease me up, woman! I'm going in!

"I call her midi-me."

Even a little Wang can make a woman smile.

Steve

Of all the days to go all Paris Hilton on me.....

It's a big world up there.

She was hired just for this - to keep the sun out of my eyes.

"You look up, little buddy, and you will become the world's smallest dead man."

Svetlana: "You have to be thiiiisss big to ride this ride."

"She was hired just for this - to keep the sun out of my eyes."

That would be a fine lunar eclipse ;)

- Another Kodak moment.

- And you thought the Verne Troyer video was disturbing?

- Hey! That isn't American Gothic! You can't fool me!

- Some days are diamonds.

THIS should have been the caption contest photo:

http://www.popsci.com/molika-ashford/article/2008-09/gaseous-state

chsw

eHarmony dot com, now you can review your matches for free!

Customs officers today in San Francisco, arrested a very large woman arriving from Russia. For smuggling.

I see's a midget, I see's a female. But I doan see no nude female midget?

For freshness you can count on, new .... Jasmine Swirl breathable panty liners.

Eat your heart out King Kong!

Even with a footstool Pingping's ambition eluded his grasp.

Fat Bastard's cousin Tall Bastard said the same thing, "Get in mah belly!"

Unnatural selection.