A Tale of Lies and Rage

Maybe this will help someone understand.

politics outrage shouting

Once upon a time, there was a family called the Smiths.  There was a Daddy Smith and a Mommy Smith and three teenage Smiths.  The teenage Smiths wanted a PS5 very, very badly.  Daddy Smith promised the teenage Smiths that they would definitely get one for Christmas.  The only way that they wouldn’t get one would be if the neighbors stole it.

For months, Daddy Smith told his kids to be careful about stolen PS5s.  He noted the USPS couldn’t be trusted to ship it, and that the kids down the street had plans to steal it. 

“The neighbirs are trying to steal the PS5. You can not let them. You just can’t let them steal the PS5. You can’t let it happen. You can’t let it happen.”

Then Christmas came and there was no PS5.

The teenage smiths were mightily upset, and Daddy Smith was angry.  

The empty box under the tree was evidence that the whole thing was rigged!  After all, he ordered the PS5 from Best Buy but someone, probably the Jones kids, stole it out the box because USPS is not secure.

“If we don’t do something fast, there will never be a PS5 in this house,” Daddy declared, “And it will never, I believe, be able to come back again.”

“There’s never been anything like this. It’s a pure theft…everybody knows it.’ Daddy said.

For the whole week after Christmas Daddy raged about theft and the teenagers fumed.  

Daddy would proclaim, “We will not take it anymore and that’s what this is all about…we will stop the steal.”

It was all so very, very unfair.

Then Daddy and Mommy and all the Smiths were invited to a New Year’s Eve block party.  Meanwhile, Daddy said that Timmy Jones had a coupon code for a free PS5. If only he would share it!  “Timmy Jones is going to have to come through for us.”  With emphasis, he proclaimed,  “If Timmy Jones does the right thing, we win the PS5!”.

So, Daddy said, “We’re going to walk down and I’ll be there with you.”  And, explained, “you’ll never take back your PS5 with weakness.  You have to show strength and you have to be strong.”

Then he told the kids to be “peaceful” and as they headed to the door, Daddy sat down by the front window to watch the block party.

As the Smith kids approach the group they stormed into the Jones house.  “Where’s Timmy?” they yelled.  Timmy had to flee.

The Smith teenagers chased the neighbors and overturned furniture.  They took selfies at Mr. Jones’ desk and smeared feces on the walls.  The older boy hit one of the neighbors in the head with a fire extinguisher and he later died.

Daddy Smith watched.

After about two hours, Daddy went out on the front lawn and yelled to his kids, “I know your pain, I know you’re hurt. We had a PS5  that was stolen from us…but you have to come home now.”  Daddy went on:  “I love.  You’re very special…I know how you feel, but come home, and come home in peace.”

Later, when the neighbors wanted to press charges, The Smiths simply said that they felt like that would cause disunity in the neighborhood, so surely we could just move on, right?

(All quotes are barely altered words of the current occupant of the White House).

FILED UNDER: Campaign 2020, Donald Trump, Impeachment, US Politics
Steven L. Taylor
About Steven L. Taylor
Steven L. Taylor is a Professor of Political Science and a College of Arts and Sciences Dean. His main areas of expertise include parties, elections, and the institutional design of democracies. His most recent book is the co-authored A Different Democracy: American Government in a 31-Country Perspective. He earned his Ph.D. from the University of Texas and his BA from the University of California, Irvine. He has been blogging since 2003 (originally at the now defunct Poliblog). Follow Steven on Twitter

Comments

  1. Just nutha ignint cracker says:

    Did you have any particular “someone” in mind? I ask because most of the someone’s I can think of still won’t get it. 🙁

    7
  2. Kurtz says:

    Nice try. Everybody knows that the PS5 was stolen. Many people are saying it. Never in history has a Jones had a PS5 when the Smiths didn’t.

    I told you that cousin “Smith,” the Postman wasn’t a really Smith. He could have made sure that we got our PS5 that EVERYONE KNOWS was ours. I even called and asked cousin Smith to find our PS5. He just said that the Post Office delivered all PS5s to the right houses.

    Not only did I buy you a PS5, I bought you each two PS5s. We were supposed to get SIX and everyone knows it.

    FRAUD!

    SAD!

    10
  3. Kurtz says:

    @Just nutha ignint cracker:

    Oh it was directed at me. It’s obvious Steven is just a deep state operative. He claims he was a Republican, but everyone knows he never was. Many people told me that he has never ever ever been a registered Republican. I saw him at Comet Pizza one time. He had his camera. And we all know what cameras are for.

    Some people also told me he one time ate Chinese food.

    WWG1WGA!

    7
  4. @Just nutha ignint cracker: Hope springs eternal.

    @Kurtz: I have never lived in a state that had partisan registration. Loophole!!

    7
  5. Kathy says:

    I don’t usually request improvements to the site, but this post leaves me no choice:

    OTB needs an upvote button for the original post.

    18
  6. Andy says:

    Actually, I stole the PS5. My kids love it, it’s awesome! They think I’m the best Dad ever.

    12
  7. CSK says:

    Many people are saying it was a false flag operation.

    9
  8. Kurtz says:

    @Andy:

    Hmmm. Don’t doxx yourself, Andy Jones.

  9. Kurtz says:

    @Steven L. Taylor:

    Ha! So you admit you once ate Moo Goo Gai Pan? I bet Ol’ Dirty Bastard cooked it too.

    Commie!

    2
  10. Jim Brown 32 says:

    You forgot the part where Daddy Smith actually lost the PS5 in a game of Strip Poker but didn’t tell his family. He set up a GoFundMe account to finance his small claims lawsuit against the Jones’. He told his sob story all over Social media and raised 50K, he never bought his kids a PS5 but bought himself a lifetime membership at the local country club and an endless bucket of chicken pass from Churches.

    The End

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  11. MarkedMan says:

    I can’t imagine a situation where I am having a reasonable conversation with a Trumper and they asked, “how does everyone else view us?”, but if it happens I’m going to show them this. Perfect.

    2
  12. @Jim Brown 32: Indeed.

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  13. Just Another Ex-Republican says:

    You left out all the evidence Daddy Smith claimed to have that he ordered the PS5 and it arrived, but was stolen. Perhaps by dead people.

    2