Bill Parcells Primer

Jennifer Floyd Engel presents an informative and amusing guide for rookies in their first training camp under Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells in today’s Fort Worth Star-Telegram. Some excerpts:


1. Yes, you do look fat.

You were in great shape in college. Congrats. No one cares. You are in the NFL now, Parcells’ NFL at that, and he subscribes to the theory that every player could stand to lose a few pounds. Don’t argue. When he gives you a weight, be sure you hit it before returning to Valley Ranch on May 16.


3. Don’t have thin skin.

Everybody gets yelled at. Parcells derisively chided Jason Witten for being a “pass-catching” tight end in his first minicamp. He is now a Pro Bowler. In contrast, quarterback Chad Hutchinson felt slighted and whined to Parcells about his role. He is now a Bear.


James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.


  1. Jack Tanner says:

    Get ready for more losing seasons until the ‘boys fire Parcells. Ever since he decided to leave the Pats before the Superbowl he has just become a fat ‘ho.

  2. Fersboo says:

    Hey Jack, STFU!

  3. Jack Tanner says:

    Hey Fersboo, Parcells is a fat phony.