Outside the Beltway

Business Opportunity: Three Kings II

James Joyner · Thursday, July 15, 2004 · 4 comments

Via e-mail:

From: ko********@ti*****.uk
Subject: asap
CC: ko*******@ma*****.com

I am Captain Kobe smith of the United States of America combatant Squad, Assigned to carry out Operation in Iraq. During our course of carrying out search for the Saddam and his aids, we observed some consignments loaded in a hidden zone. We were then curious to know the contents, fortunately, it was United Staes Of America dollars,being kept by Saddam Children. As a matter of fact, I cannot ascertain the amount in each of then. Nevertheless, we had to report to our Command Head Quater, as it is the rules in the United States Army. But before then, I and some of my colleagues smuggled some boxes out for our personal used. We did that without the intention of our superior Officers, knowningfully well that if the should know, we MUST be charged for Conspiracy and Stealing.

Presently, we have shipped the boxes out of Iraq, looking for a trusted person who will Assist us to Claim it and Invest on our behalf. We do not care the type of business you may invest in, all we care for is making sure that at the end of our assignment in Iraq, we shall get our money.

SHARING: We are ready to share 50% for us, 40% for you and 10% for any expensive that may occur. We ask that this Proposal must be kept secret due to its nature.

If you are intersted kindly get back to me through my email address:ko********@ma*****.com

Looking forward to hearing from you immediately.

Thanks,
Kobe smith

The junior officers of United States of America combatant Squad are notorious for their poor grammar, lack of proofreading skills, and UK e-mail addresses, so this appears quite authentic.

In addition to being a fine investment opportunity in its own right, it also looks to be a ready-made script for a reunion of George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, and Ice Cube in Three Kings II. It’s ten years later and the boys are back in Iraq. They have a chance meeting with CPT smith of USA combatant Squad and hijinks ensue.

I have sent the following reply to CPT smith:

Thank you Capt. smith. It looks like a fine opportunity. I would like to invest this money in a major motion picture, the sequel to Three Kings starring Mr. George clooney.

How should we proceed?

Dr. James joyner

Update (7/19): I finally received a reply this morning:

THANKS DR JAMES FOR BELIEVING IN ME,
I WILL LIKE TO HAVE YOUR CONTACTS YOUR TELEPHONE/FAX CONTACT ADDRESS
YOU WILL ALSO LET ME KNOW HOW I WILL TRUST YOU IN THIS DEAL MOST
IMPORTANTLY YOU GET TO PROMISE ME OF KEEPING THIS DEAL TO YOUR SELF TILL YOU
RECEIVE THIS FUND.
PLS. REACH ME AS POSSIBLE. TIME IS NOT ON OUR SIDE.
CAPT. SMITH.

My response:

CAPT. SMITH,

YOU HAVE CONTACTED ME FIRST, SO YOU PRESUMABLY KNOW MY
CREDENTIALS.

PLEASE SUPPLY YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION AND I WILL BE
IN TOUCH.

THANKS,
DR. JOYNER

We’ll see how this proceeds.