Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Winners will be announced Monday PM
So I had this dream last night where people actually elected me President of the United States……..
“Don’t you worry, girls, before he left, Rahm fixed the numbers on the early voting.”
I know you have the hots for me, but please keep your blouse on.
I am that new age man, all touchy feely.
Hey, Axelrod told me to “stay up for the full night”; how does an election pajama party sound to you girls?
Obama: “So this dyke, tranny and hooker walk into the bar…”
Obama: “Boy, I’d love to squeeze those melons!”
So Ginny Thomas calls me the other day and says, “Hey, Mr. President, how about hosting a peace talk between me and Anita over Chardonnays in the WH?” I’m all “Hold on, that’s not for me, call Cokie or MoDo!”
“…and then Sarah Palin said don’t party like it’s 1773!”
OT, Rodney, that picture on Drudge of Michele holding one very large, um, potato, yeah, that’s it, would have made for an excellent, if utterly juvenile, contest.
1) “Wait, wait. That’s not all. So then he leans over to me, whispering in my ear, ‘I feel your pain.’ Like that’s supposed to work on me? A guy!”
2) “So McCain calls to concede the election, right. And I say to him: ‘Swoosh, baby. Nothing but net.’ Yeah, those were the days.”
3) “Wait, wait. That’s not all. So then he leans over to me, whispering in my ear, ‘I feel your pain.’ Like that’s suppose to make me feel better about losing the midterm elections, how?”
And I was all, like, “You b!tch!” and she was all like, “Who you callin’ a b!tch?” and I was all like, …
If you vote to re-elect the Democrats, I promise you’ll have a job before the end of my term……even if I have to hire you myself.
Let me be clear, I’m only half black so it’s only this big…..
It’s all about the O.
“And then I said, ‘shovel ready my ass.'”
“No, wait. I haven’t even got to Biden’s insight yet.”
“Kobe, I’m open.”
(Sorry for that last one. I see someone else already made that joke.)
So, do you like your “coffee” black with a little milk?
4) “So Juan tells the donkey, ‘No, amigo. It’s your turn. You put on the dress.”
Here’s the best part – the stupid American voters really believed that I was the Messiah.
I assure you, our new Food Czar Michelle would never shut you down for serving fattening, delicious, decadent, sugary delights.
Appropriately seated on the left, Sen Patty Murray (D-Stupid ) smiles like she actually gets it.
Yes, Yes, Yes! You will like my stimulus package. Just ask the democrat dimwit next to me.
Obama rehearses for his next appearance on The View.
No, really! I bet you $5 that I can squeeze your boobs without touching you!
Sen. Patty Murray thought bubble: “I don’t know what he means about a “menage a trois” but I’ll save some earmarks for it.”
Obama: “So they pushed him out the door and the next thing they know Juan Williams gets $2 million from FOX News.
5) “So Michelle opens the front door and I ask her, “Who is it, dear? The Publishers Clearing House people again?’ And she says, ‘No. It’s the Nobel Peace Prize people.’ Yeah, those were the days ”
6) “Wait, wait. That’s not all. So then he leans over to me, whispering in my ear, ‘I feel your pain.’ And I say, ‘Better check your hand again, because that’s not pain your feeling.”
7) “Wait, wait. That’s not all. So then he leans over to me, whispering in my ear, ‘I feel your pain.’ Then he says, ‘Now turn to your left and cough.”
8) “So Juan tells the donkey, ‘No, amigo. The five second rule only applies if you haven’t already eaten it first.”
“I’m telling you right now….people will pay $8.00 for a Barrackaccino. I can sell…people have been buying my crap for years!”
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