Monday, August 7, 2006
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
Winners from the previous contest may be delayed until Tuesday
Yep. That’s her. My new neighbor- the one I want deported.
“I pump your hand and the horse does what?!
“Thanks Sheriff for gettin’ me around that Sheehan property. I can walk the rest of the way from here.”
“No really Mr. President, you cannot cross the border illegally.”
“Yes, I know your job is getting tough, but really it is illegal for you to come into Mexico without doing it properly.”
“La recepciÃ³n a AmÃ©rica, aquÃ es su nÃºmero de Seguridad Social y los drviers licencian. Ningunos justos van al depÃ³sito casero un salto en la parte posteriora del primer carro que toca la bocina.”
Hopefully my spanish isn’t that rust and it should translate to: “Welcome to America, here is your social security number and drviers license. No just go to Home Depot an hop in the back of the first truck that honks.”
Agent w/sunglasses: “Dangit! Now where did I leave my pistol this time?”
Bush in brush with fuzz
“And that’s a mighty fine Shi’ite you’re ridin’ there, Officer–or is that one of those Sunnis?”
Right there with the White House press corps. Incredible courage.
Tilly the Horse: Wait! I think I blinkered.
You’re welcome, Mr. President. And any time you need some more horsecrap to send to Congress, well, you just let us know.
Kid driving by: “Wow! Hey Mom, Dad, look, look! Horses!”
Cindy Sheehan, a freelance photographer living in Crawford, Texas who had a photograph of Bush published by Reuters, denies photo shopping photograph. In the original photo, shown, Bush is seen shaking hands with a Sheriffs Deputy. In the version published by Reuters, the president was shown performing a carnal act on the deputy’s horse that was outlawed in Texas until the Supreme Court decision in Lawrence et al v Texas. Reuters regrets the error but says there will be no internal investigation about how the subtle photo shop alterations escaped the editor.
Badges. Sure jefe, we got some stinking badges.
Nice to meet you. Can you point out where the rocket launchers across the border are being set up?
Mr. President, there is not truth that our border security efforts are in the horse and buggy age. The buggy broke, congress won’t authorize funds for a replacement and so we just ride the horses.
“You say Cheney shot somebody again? On purpose? Condi??? Well, in these parts a desperado would head for the hideout over yonder.”
The president posed for a photograph by one of this countries newest residence as Juan and Maria snapped a remembrance of their entering the country.
And then, southpaw JosÃ© Feliciano grabbed his gun and shot out Bush’s front teeth.
In the un-photoshopped version of this picture Bush is actually standing on an illegal immigrant to boost his height.
Border? I can’t find the stinking border. Sh-t, when’s Congress gonna put up my fence?
“Nice shootin’, officer. Just make sure you get those hippie carcasses out of here pronto, I don’t want to be responsible for poisoning no buzzards. The ASPCA would have my hide!”
“No sir, these are complete units. The horse’s a$$es are over there with the protest signs.”
“Well I had a horse, until Rummy and Dick slipped out of that confounded costume.”
“You Canadian Mounties, Sure Are Doing A Good Job.”
Real men don’t use pooper scoopers.
(sorry Mr. Pres.)
Real men don’t use pooper scoopers.
Here sir, here’s your baggie of peyote you asked for (don’t worry your Secret Service man already paid me my $50). Man you’ve got that slight of hand down good, even doing it infront of the cameras here.
Bush: I said give me a firm handshake for the cameras! Or I’ll sick Dickey on you with his shotgun.
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