Monday, October 9, 2006
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
Foley: But it’s not any bigger than this.
Bush: Yeah? Well, it’s caused me a headache like this!
Did you see that Fox interview? Clinton’s purple face got THIS close to Chris Wallace…
“Let’s be clear about this, Foley, that’s not what Hastert meant by ‘you gotta turn a new page in your life’ “.
GWB: One A4 page is this big.
Foley: No, no, Mr President, I said one page is this big.
“Look Foley, I don’t care how big they are; stay out of the Page dorm!”
George Bush: Foley, it’s your lies that are this big.
“For the rest of your life, Foley, keep your degenerate self away from me. And when the time comes let the hot flames, about so big, slowly incinerate you to a pulp.”
“When ya get back to Florida, Jeb’s gonna beat ya with a stick about so big.:
Isn’t there a law that they have to be at least this long?
Note to politicians, never gesture by holding two hands about a foot apart.
Bush: Has to be footlong, you know that I’m a size queen.
Foley: With all due respect, sir, I think it’s clear that we are not on the same page.
Bush: And then Laura says “What?! I can’t hear you!”
Bush: “There’s a huge difference in meanings, here Foley.”
Foley: “Naw, Mr. President. Just a small, insignificant case of semantics. There’s no beeper involved. Someone said ‘Foley, you’re getting paged’ and I thought they meant only one thing.”
Bush gets Foley show on the tarmac. (Impeachment proceedings to follow.)
Bush and Foley compare versions of the perfect a$$.
Let me make sure I have this right:
“This is the way we clap our hands?”
When Reuters runs their next article about Bill Clinton, will they dredge up an ancient file photo of him and Monica Lewinsky?
It can only be hoped.
Foley: “… but Mr President I thought we were this close.”
Dubya: “Maintain your distance.”
Rodney, allow me to write the anti-Reuters caption to that photo:
“Ex-US President Bill Clinton, stumping for his Global Initiative in Europe this week, is seen here in a file photo from December 1997, with his hummer and humidor, White House intern Monica Lewinsky.”
It could happen.
As expected, Bush and Foley disagreed quite vigorously about the relative merits of dildoes and anal beads.
“Look. You lied to me. I don’t feel a bit special. I wanted to be the only one you sent inappropriate e-mails.”
“I told you to dress up like a hobgoblin, vampire or bugaboo. But, oh no. You come as the poster boy for pedophilia.”
Dammit, Foley, I told you to stay at least this far away from the pages at all times!
You hold up your hands like this and just say no!
Come on now. It’s this small.
Bush says: It’s this big or I’m not President of the United States
Give it up, George. We all know it’s this big.
Bush says: We’re not even on the same wage length here. I’m talking about the scandal.
Oh, I thought you were talking about your popularity rate.
Mr President, I’m wearing Ralph Loren, do I have to spell it out for you?
“Well, let’s just say that things were bad before thanks to me. And now, thanks to you, they’re going to hell in a handbasket.”
“Boy. Am I ever glad I never listened to your great idea of the White House having a party with guests including all the Congressional Pages, all the White House Interns, Monica Lewinsky, Bill Clinton, Fanne Fox, Gary Hart, Donna Rice, Dick Morris, Sherry Rowlands and Fanne Fox.”
“You know my wife, Laura, changed my life. I was pretty rotten before. Too bad you don’t like girls because you seem pretty rotten.”
“Dammit, Foley! ‘Take a page from my book’ is just a damn expression!
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