Monday, December 5, 2005
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
been there. done that.
* These days, Stevie Nicks concerts are a little less impressive.
The new “American Idol” was a gigantic flop with the target audience of 18-24 year olds. However, the ratings with the cross-dressing bowling alley crowd went through the roof.
George Clooney has really, really let himself go.
Red top purchased at gagage sale: $.25
Zip tie to secure 6-pack to belt loop: $.05
Used Dolly Parton wig: $15.00
Stolen Rosie O’Donnell cut-off jeans: $0.00
Chugging a pitcher of Milwaukee’s Best in 1.2 seconds, on stage and without spilling a drop: Priceless
Somebody pointed me here saying my first girlfriend had really let herself go. Having seen the picture, I can honestly say, “Not so much.”
After failing to secure the 2008 presidential nomination, Hilary reverted to her Arkansas roots.
With the Chorus seated in the background and Betty Sue LaRue in the foreground as Jocasta, The Trailer Park Players’ modernized version of Oedipus Rex set in the Ozarks is being hailed by critics: “Finally, a theatre group that truly knows the characters”.
Later in life, Chelsea’s hard livin’ finally caught up to her
The new musical It’s a Trashy Life, chronicles the life of Anna Nicole Smith through the resolution of the Live 8 lawsuit against her.
Who cares about that “less filling” crap?
Ted Kennedy’s Senate Bill to get FFB-TV (Full-Figured Broads) added to basic cable nation-wide could never seem to make it to a floor vote.
Harvard sponsors a panel to discuss what Paris Hilton would look and act like if she were not born into wealth.
Monica Lewinsky: The later years
215,000 new jobs? I’ll drink to that.
Ted Kennedy finally comes out of the closet.
Recent happy hour photo of the friendly employees at the Clinton Library Cafeteria.
Miss Alabama enters the talent segment in last place.
Betty should really think about switching to Bud-light
In the talent segment of the Miss America pagent, Miss Alabama attempts to belch out the state motto: Audemus jura nostra defendere (We Dare Defend Our Rights)
First audience member: “Hey look, it’s Larry the Cable Guy’s sister.”
Second audience member: “Can’t be. She doesn’t have enough moles.”
(AP) — In an exciting new move to appeal to Southern voters, the Democratic National Committee endorsed Trailer Trish for the 2008 presidential nomination.
Despite prodigious backing from the network, the new ABC show “Extreme Makeover: Alcoholic Manatee Edition” never quite took off.
* Given the amount of beer she drinks, CindyLou could not be considered a ‘cheap date’.
* Beer gut? Naw, I got pregnant ‘fore I had the sex change
I see the Haufbrau-house girls have really let themselves go this year after Oktoberfest.
Sad, really really sad.
1) Auditions for Saddam’s new cell mate take an interesting turn…
2) Tanya Harding gives her annual toast at the 2015 Trailer Trash Awards.
Somewhere a mother in a double wide is very proud that her little girl is all growed up and fulfilling her dream of being a TV star. While a half a dozen guys shake there head and say to themselves “See, I just knew she couldn’t be mine.”
Yep, it’s over…
Democrats introduce their “fat guy with peepee” plan for Iraq.
They had heard Hooters was coming to Neunkirchen, just down the road from Ramstein US airbase. So Franz, the owner of the local Brauthaus, demanded his waitress start entertaining his American customers…Ya, Brunhilda, beer, burgers und breasts!
“And they said Hazzard County wasn’t big enough for a production of Rent.”
* All I want is my dignity!
* She’s very attractive. Being a small planet, she has her own gravity field.
* Oh, no… she’s gonna SING!!!!!
* John reconized at last, that he’d put too much air in his inflatable girlfreind.
* Does this outfit make me look fat?
* It was then she got the idea of using hula hoops to hold up her socks
* This is the one I was telling you about, Rob… she was wearing this Malcom X T-shirt, ya know… and a helecopter landed on her.
* This is the type that goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says “Okay!”
* Just last week, she was charged with trying to shoplift a mini-van under her coat.
* The Bungee jump operator’s worst nightmare.
* In a choice between first class and business class, she sits in both…. at once.
* (Obligitory Python) …She’s Beautiful…. she’s got huge….. tracts of land…
Michael Moore’s wife stars in “Bowling League for Columbine.”
It’s a damn good ting she doesn’t have a cigarette in her hand, or they’d have to air brush it out. Don’t want a bad role model for our kids, after all.
sheÃ¢Â€Â™s got huge… tracts of land…
But its the back forty that concerns me.
Following the success of its other reality show, NBC introduces “The Biggest Boozer”.
I must, in good conscience, steadfastly refuse to assume that she’s a “she.”
Someone should let Andrew Sullivan that it is never too late to get help.
“I’m drinking to a White Christmas, if you get my drift.”
For some strange reason – the DNC Strip Club Fundraiser failed to generate any funds. Democrats blamed a Republican conspiracy.
In the middle of the talent competition, Miss Arkansas realized she forgot to put Vaseline on her teeth – and her thighs.
And here’s our current female weightlifting champion – Miss Beer Snatch.
The judges look at the contestant with a critical eye. After all, not everyone can work at their new bar and grill – Elephant Ugly
Due to pervasive liberal PC diversity, the days when The Dating Game contestants were exclusively attractive hetrosexuals are long gone.
Make a one-time donation